Stories and other stuff

This question is the bane of every parent who has ever embarked on a long trip with kids in the car.  We've heard it, this one, the "Stop touching me", the backseat squabbles over this or that.  Technology has taken care of some of it.  I used to put movies in a computer and let the kids watch them in the back seat on the way to Yellowstone.  It made for a quiet trip up front. I talk a lot these days about my faith in God, for two primary reasons.  One, I want to do something good with my blog. If I can help someone by keeping them from making stupid choices like I made, then I've done something good.  If I inspire someone to open a Bible in time of crisis, then I've shared the Good News!  Two, I'm like a little kid these days, full of faith, hope, wonderment at the marvels that God does in my life.  The biggest thing I have a problem with is patience.  Like a little kid, some days I want to run down the path God has me on.  I think Ch...

If you would have told me two months ago I'd be where I am today I wouldn't have believed you.  Two months ago, I thought I knew where I was headed, what I was doing, thought I was doing the right things the right way. AND THEN.... I started listening to God.  At first, I wasn't sure about what I heard.  Could He really be telling me what He was?  After everything that happened, could He really be telling me what I thought he was?  So many random things have happened to me over the last month, how could I be sure? Well, God got my attention yesterday.  I was kind of fretting over something yesterday afternoon.  I was out in back of the building I work in, staring at the runway, and thinking to myself about some things that were weighing heavy on my mind when I heard this inner voice (no, I don't need the rubber room, it didn't come from my head.) that came from inside, but not from the "heart" if you will.  The words I heard were, and this is ...

I opened my facebook page this morning and had a friend suggestion from someone I know.  I haven't seen this person in a long time, and in another place, another time, she and I could have been close.  She, out of everyone I know, was the one person who cautioned me about getting married again.  Why she knew, I don't know.  At the time, I passed it off as nothing.  We all have people we meet and take an instant dislike to, and that was the case with her and the wife. I ignored the request.  Here is the reason why: I stepped outside to have a cigarette.  When I came back in and opened my facebook page, there was a prayer from the prayer request page on my page.  It was a prayer to God to help us fight temptations in our lives and to help us remember the life on earth prepares us for a place in God's kingdom.  It was what I needed to hear at the exact moment I needed to hear it. Not that the purpose of the friend request was an implication...

One of the foolish things I did in my life was something that I didn't do.  I very seldom ever took a camera with me on a trip.  I think of all the places I've been, the things I've done, and I don't have a lot of pictures to remember them by. I've been blessed.  I've been to many great places, seen many things, but not many photos go along with the memories.  I've been to a bullfight in Sevilla, Spain.  I've been to Rome a number of times (and fortunately I have pictures of this).  I went to Moscow a few years after the Cold War ended.  I've been to Germany, France, England, Holland, and all over Northern Italy.  I've been to Paris twice and no pictures of any of the sights.  Just memories. Many of my friends are talking about Hawaii today.  I remember the last time I was there but I don't have those pictures anymore.  I thought about it today and smiled because it reminded me of better times.  I don't have the photos anym...

Cats and dogs are supposed to be natural enemies.  Wendi has this pussycat that can't weigh more than four pounds, soaking wet, who used to beat up my dog Katie on a regular basis, for no other reason than he could.  Snot hated dogs.  The dog was AFRAID of this pussycat.  It used to make the wife laugh every time it happened. Fast forward to today.  Snot doesn't live with me anymore, but the fear that pussycat put into my dog lives on and on. There is a family of wild pussycats that live in my back yard.  June feeds them, but it doesn't stop them from hunting.  They're pretty adept hunters.  I keep them around because we live so close to the mountains and because of the bushes planted in the small hillside in my backyard, rats and other critters have cover to live.  The pussycats do their job.  One had a small rat for lunch yesterday afternoon. Three of these pussycats will allow us to pet them, but the rest are afraid of us. ...

I was sitting outside having a smoke (I know, I gotta quit!) last night when this little mouse scurried by.  I watched the little guy for a few minutes and with the weather changing, I thought about being a mouse. A mouse has a hard life.  He lives in a hole in the ground and has plenty to fear.  A mouse is on the menu for so many critters.  He has to hope he's not out trying to get just a little something to eat and get taken out from above by a bird.  On the ground, he's got to dodge humans, cats, and all manner of four footed creatures and snakes (I hate snakes!) that would love to make him a snack. Look at what we do as people to keep mice at bay, understandably.  Having a mouse in your house is messy and they carry disease.  So we set out traps to get rid of them.  We call them vermin.  The mouse, though is just trying to do two things, stay warm and get something to eat. As I watched the mouse run across the field, dodging this an...

My life kind of runs in themes these days.  This week's theme started out last Sunday with me forgiving the man who ratted me out to the wife about the affair.  I only talk about this to tell a story, with a decent moral at the end. I was thinking about this whole concept of ratting someone out.  We have people we trust with secrets, and when those secrets are betrayed, we feel like we've been "ratted out" for our behavior.  I mentioned I hadn't thought of this man in a long time, but for the longest time, I blamed him for the turn of events in my life.  I finally figured out it was my own fault for what I'd done. If I hadn't done what I did, then the "rat" wouldn't exist.  I was the one that put myself in that position, so ultimately, I was responsible for the "rat".  I had nobody to blame but myself, so in a sense, I kind of ratted on myself with my behavior.  Someone found out about my behavior that shouldn't have and mad...

I didn't sleep well last night.  I'm not sure why.  It was just one of those nights where you wake up in the middle of the night for no reason.  I had the worst time getting back to sleep. I woke up feeling a little melancholy.  Maybe it was just the weather.  Maybe it was the after affects of walking nose first into the wall last night on my way to bed.  I've walked down that hallway dozens of time in the dark.  Usually I hit my shoulder into the little knick-knack cabinet on the wall.  That I've done before but never cracked my beak into the wall.  The funny thing was that I landed on the light switch right after I did it and the lights came on.   I have to laugh a little bit at it and thought for sure I'd wake up with two black eyes.  It was a hard hit.  I didn't though.  What I did get out of it is a great metaphor about being in darkness and light.  I'll save it for another day. I didn't have to force myself ...

The best thing about October is baseball.  I'm excited. Baseball starts tonight...Phillies/Giants.  I kind of wish the Cardinals were in because I love to watch how Tony LaRusa manages a fall game.  You see all kinds of things in the fall that you don't see normally.  Last night, I watched the Rangers blow a huge lead to the Yankees.  I saw it coming.  I've seen it too many times before.  The Yankees, as much as I'm not a Yankee fan, are still one of the best late inning teams in baseball.  They just find a way to win.  I just knew they would win last night.  Sometimes, you just get that feeling. You notice I said baseball starts tonight.  One thing I really dislike about baseball is the DH rule.  Real baseball teams make the pitchers hit.  It adds something to the game.  Back in the '90s, the Atlanta Braves had a pitching staff that could hit!  It makes the game fun to watch when pitchers can help themselves....

Good afternoon everyone, First off, I wanted to give everyone a big "thank you" for your prayers.  A big one of mine has been answered.  The Mrs. and I have a line of communication open.  That's huge!  It's a little bit weird, but we are finding a way to talk about some things.  Although the door remains closed, the Lord has opened a window and I'm thankful that I have a chance to show her some things about me. Talk is cheap.  Where the rubber meets the road is actions.  I hope she doesn't mind me sharing this story. One of the many things worrying her was how to get her things.  They're hers and by no means have I ever intended on keeping them from her.  I found a way to tell her I was willing to see she got them and we're making plans for their return.  The problem was a misunderstanding.  She had no way to ask me and I had no way to tell her.  Very creatively, she found that way to communicate.  I think back at th...

In my kitchen, there is a little fabric hanging on the wall that's meant to be a bill organizer.  It's traditionally where things get stuck when I'm in a hurry to clean off the counter. This is where Wendi's iPod was living...hiding in plain sight for months.  I don't know how many times I went through that thing, but it was more than once.  I never saw, nor felt Wendi's iPod in there.  She has the big one, so it's not like it was a little nano hiding between a couple of letters. As I thought about her iPod, I thought about me.  Like the iPod, I was lost, hiding in plain sight, but lost just the same.  Shrouded in darkness, confusion, and lust.  Depression had a pretty good hold on me and I never realized it.  I was worried about things that in the end would have just worked themselves out. I found me.  Rather, I should say that once I found Jesus, I found me.  Once all the clutter was cleared away, the cloak of sins of the past re...

I spent part of the day preparing the business taxes.  No, I'm not going to talk about them save to say this.  It's how I spent part of my day.  There are a lot of forms to fill out.  I got the papers I have together and figured out some numbers. The word the lady at the IRS used for my situation was to "reconstruct" to the best I can.  I'm working with tax forms, some cash register receipts, and bank statements.  My dining room table is covered with stuff! I have to get them done, soon!  I may be packing for a little road trip this weekend.  I gotta get the wife the baby furniture.  Little guy will be here soon. Bucket, AKA "Max" is going too.  Not because I don't want or love him, but he needs a little boy to play with.  He's still a puppy and he'll be a good friend to the little guy.  I still have the beagle, but she's getting on in years. She's looking at me and been really clingy the last couple of days.  S...

I rewrote this post in it's entirety.  I wasn't happy with what I wrote.  What happened was that I tried to take a very important topic, edited the good parts out because I used the wife as part of the story.  When I did that, I came up with something that really didn't make much sense. I think the topic is important because I think it's a trap a lot of people fall into.  Please know I'm not judging anyone.  What I want to do with the blog now is offer encouragement, to praise God, to share my story of finding Him, hopefully leading people back to God.  It's my way of sharing the Good News that Christ died for our sins! What do I mean by being a convenient Christian?  This is what I'm talking about...believing in God, but not following God.  Look at the price I paid in my life for that.  I broke God's law about being faithful.  I was sick in my heart and soul, and at the depth of my depression, I found God again. Being a Christian ...

I had an interesting talk last night with a co-worker.  I was talking a little bit about the things going on in my life with a small group of smokers about a week and a half ago, not to do anything but offer one of them some perspective with things going on in his life, to tell him things could be a little worse than they are. The same, of course, goes for me.  My life could be lots worse.  A night in the hospital last week for some still unexplained chest pains made me think about this.  When I pray, I sometimes acknowledge to God that I know this and am grateful to Him that things aren't as bad as they could be.  My life right now is difficult, but a good test of faith, I think. Anyway, back to the conversation.  We talked privately about things, how things sometimes unfold, and how it's all woven into the tapestry of life. We do touch others, whether or not we understand it.  I learned this from the nightmare last month and now choose my words v...