Adding to the list

If you would have told me two months ago I'd be where I am today I wouldn't have believed you.  Two months ago, I thought I knew where I was headed, what I was doing, thought I was doing the right things the right way.

AND THEN.... I started listening to God.  At first, I wasn't sure about what I heard.  Could He really be telling me what He was?  After everything that happened, could He really be telling me what I thought he was?  So many random things have happened to me over the last month, how could I be sure?

Well, God got my attention yesterday.  I was kind of fretting over something yesterday afternoon.  I was out in back of the building I work in, staring at the runway, and thinking to myself about some things that were weighing heavy on my mind when I heard this inner voice (no, I don't need the rubber room, it didn't come from my head.) that came from inside, but not from the "heart" if you will.  The words I heard were, and this is a quote:  "relax and watch me work".  What I was fretting about went away and nothing much happened until...The phone rang.  After one conversation, the phone rang again.  I thought about the first conversation and called the person back.  After talking to that person, I called the second person back and offered some reassurance and forgiveness that I think was really needed by that person.  I got to see first hand, God at work in my life.

Here's what I learned yesterday.  God has been talking to me and I hear him.  I had to forgive a couple of things and I did.  Something unfortunate happened, but I understand why.  By God's grace, the things that happened last night and today could have been much worse.  As I talked about, much as a father punishes a child he loves, I have a little bit of a price to pay for my sins.  I'm so grateful to God that it's not as bad as it could have been, and only by His grace am I able to say that.  I understand God is using the trials in my life to make me into the man He wants me to be.  Those lessons aren't easy, nor inexpensive.  For me though, I can't put a price on forgiveness or salvation.  God's gentle reminder yesterday reminded me that He's capable of so much more than He's asking me to go through right now.

So, what list am I talking about?  If you've known me for a while, you know there are only two things I used to be afraid of: Snakes and being on fire.  You'll notice I said "used to".  You may now add God to the top of that list.  I love God, but I have a healthy dose of fearing what He's capable of if I anger him.

I talked about that with someone last night who told me "I'm not afraid of God.  I love God."  I tried to explain that in the Bible, God clearly wants us to fear Him and love him.  It's the fear that keeps us in line, like when we were kids and the fear of what would happen if our parents found out kept a lot of us from doing some pretty stupid things.  If I had feared God, even a little bit a year ago, I wouldn't be writing about it now.

Even after last night and today, I know that God loves me, Jesus loves me, and I love Him.  I feel more secure in knowing that and that my faith is stronger, even after a healthy dose of bad news, than it was just yesterday morning.

That's all for today.  If I might make a small suggestion... if you haven't been to church in a while, maybe it's time for you to renew that relationship with God.  If you don't have a regular church you attend, you're welcome to join me at mine.