Faster than I can fix it

Stuff breaks.  I get that. 

But hoo, boy.....it's been happening with a lot of regularity around here lately.

The coffee pot won't drip a full pot.
The shower head leaks.
The handle to the lawnmower snapped off in my hand, in mid turn.
The belt on the carpet cleaner is shot.

And the list goes on and on.

Hey, things happen, and I'm grateful for getting the use out of it that I've had, but it just feels like there's been a full-on assault on the checkbook lately.

And that's not the only assault.

I'm marching toward something.  That something involves a person, and I know it doesn't make any sense.  But still, I don't see another path.

I do see, though, lots of opportunities lately to take the wrong path, and that has me worried as well.

I've been with the wrong person before.  It was not a pleasant experience to have God intervene in that situation, all three times.  The last time wasn't my fault, and the minute she kissed me, I knew something was wrong.

I heard from her a couple of weeks ago.  It was a fishing expedition on her part; sending something to me that looked generic, easily explained that it was an accident if questioned, and if I responded back, an ice-breaker.  Or at least, that's how I took it, given I haven't heard from her in a while.

I did nothing.

I found myself staring at the moon on Saturday evening with someone who is the wrong person.  It took a pussycat getting dead and a reassignment for me to figure that one out.  We were both in the same place at the same time Saturday evening and talking about a full moon.  The guy I was with veered right when we walked outside.  As soon as I realized it, I made a hasty retreat.

Not for me.

She still likes me and there was a minute when I was attracted to her, but I know she's not for me and I'm not for her.  Good, but not best.

I had a lunch date with a woman after Tami.  This was way before my Who.  And I was invited to lunch by her again a couple of weeks ago. We just didn't click, but we're still friends.  But she also likes me and I'm flattered.  Life was good when she had a fella.  Now she doesn't and again, good, in a lot of ways, but not best.

Accepting that sometimes is hard.  I am on a path with no guarantees of the outcome.  I could be wrong, but I don't think so.  I think right now I'm supposed to think that, but in the end, I'll know that soon enough.  Accepting that also means I have to accept that good but not best also applies to me.

I might look good to someone else, but I'm not what's best for them either.

That's kinda tough, right?  After all, I'm a good guy.  What's wrong with me?

And that answer is "nothing".

I can only be best for the person that's best for me.  Sadly, right now, I don't seem to be that, which makes this even harder for me.  I was best.  I messed that up because I told God what I wanted instead of asking Him what He wanted.

It's why there was a 3rd go with Tami.  It's why I won't dare do anything about anybody else.  The whole New Year's debacle a couple of years ago that almost but didn't happen with the aforemntioned lady I was looking at the moon with was enough to keep me from being even curious about that.

And it's why I'm moving on the same path.

I'm not driving the bus.  It's just going through some odd terrain these days.

And in the midst of the crazy, there's the peace that passes understanding.  I'm trusting God.  And I'm acting like the outcome is certain because we're told to pray and ask God and then act as if we've received what we prayed for.

I asked God to pick.  He did, and for once in my life, I chose to say YES to him and no to me.

I'm good with that.