Taking stock.

 I'm a desert kid and the humidity is killing me today.  That's the tradeoff; on hot days (and it's hot for here) then I'm gonna feel sticky.  Sticky is just part of the deal and it's not a complaint.  It's just a thing I have to adjust to.

I have to adjust to a lot of things.  I asked God for two weeks to rest up from the turmoil and He kindly gave it to me.  And then, suddenly, things changed again.  It's like that sometimes.  When I woke up yesterday I did not know I'd be sitting in a dentist's office at 3:45 having a crown replaced.  I lost an argument with a sour apple Jolly Rancher.  

At home, I had a dentist.  I knew my dentist took my insurance.  I got comfortable with that arrangement.  I'd show up.  They'd bill my insurance and about two months later, I would get a bill for the rest.  Sometimes there wasn't a bill.  Other times, there was and it wasn't as bad as I thought.  Same way with doctors in Ogden.  Everyone took Blue Cross.  No worries.  Never thought about having to look for preferred providers.  And yesterday, I didn't.

When I called, I told the receptionist what kinds of insurance I had.  I found out they weren't in network after I was already numbed up.  Fortunately for me my insurance will cover a portion of the cost of the crown.  But not as much.  And I probably paid too much for it in the first place.  But that's the way it goes sometimes.  In a rush, we forget things.  All I know is I had a gaping hole in my tooth and I needed it fixed.

I think about that.  I've been thinking a lot about how much it cost me to tell God  "No" to something seven years ago, and I wonder, too, about the cost of an answered prayer.  I have on my mind something I heard on the radio.  A woman, and I forget who, was talking about asking for God something early and being willing to pay the price for that ask.  Also with that, is being mindful of the first thing.  Another lady put it this way:  Telling God no will always cost you more than telling Him yes, no matter how hard the yes is.  Even if you don't understand in the moment that your no wasn't meant to be that.

And that goes into the last post I wrote about thinking we know more than God.  I had a conversation with someone this morning about that.  I listened intently to what the person told me.  And then the Holy Spirit gave me some words to share.  With those words, I hope some good comes of them.  But it was an honest assessment of a situation that I don't understand the why of, but I do understand that God is working in the middle of.  

Sometimes our feelings get in our way.  It happens with me, and it took some serious prayer this morning at three a.m. to get past mine.  That and a healthy dose of Scripture to fight back some things I'd just as soon not be angry about.  One thing I know:  Prayer works.  And sometimes the most immediate person you need to pray over is yourself.  Especially if acting on your feelings is gonna do something that you know is gonna take you off the path God has you on.

I can sometimes come across as someone who has it all together.  I don't.  What I have is a God who binds me up, carries me when I'm weak, and shows up at just the right time.  

To help me take stock.