This too, shall pass....

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 I'm not a fan of February 14.  Mostly because two marriages broke up; one on Valentine's Day, the other the morning after.  It brings back painful memories for me, mostly because since then, I can't recall spending the day with my special someone.  

It's difficult sometimes because I've met a few along the way that maybe could have been...but God has asked me to wait.  Wait for Him.  And in that wait, I've come to remember some things.

I have Jesus.  He's all I need.  While it would be nice to have that relationship, especially now that God has led me on a journey to teach me not only what love is, but to actually be able to love someone more than me.  That journey has not been an easy one, but it was most certainly a necessary one.  And in the last few months, God has been busy at work, not only in the places I can't see, but in me.  Changing me and preparing me for whatever is next has been a thing lately.

I made a snarky, tongue in cheek remark about today on my FB page.  Mostly because I really don't like this day (despise is a word one could use here if one were so inclined), but because the irony that tomorrow is Singles Awareness Day (SAD Day) so the single folk get the double whammy.  I realize some are single by choice.  And some are single because that's the plan for their lives.  It doesn't make them unproductive, or unhappy people.  For me though, I think I'm better when I have someone to love.  

I had that a few months ago.  Even though it wasn't reciprocated, I had some people here to love on.  When that happens, I tend to do better.  Fortunately, God left me with some folks here in Oregon to love on.  It's nice to have those friends to make the journey easier.  To have someone to just do life with, even if it's just a bit here, or a small time there.  I cherish those times because it's not good for me to be alone.

I don't think God ever intends us to not be in community.  I do think though there can be those wilderness times (like now) where He takes us apart and at least in my case, fixes what still needs to be fixed so we can move forward when he says NOW.

I could, I suppose, try to fix my situation.  I've been dumb enough to try that before, though, with not great results.  So as bad as it hurts, I wait.  Because I love God more than I love me and I'm not selfish enough to try and let someone in that would just get hurt.

So the hurt will pass.  The loneliness is bearable because of the gift of companionship I have from a trio of pussycats and a dog named Bucket.

And through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, and my relationship with my Lord, and through Him, I get to know my Father in Heaven means I'm never alone.

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