When you get the answer you need

 I got reminded today of the words that saved my life almost 11 years ago.  Maybe I needed those words again today, but hey are still just as important today as they were then.  

When Life Gets To Be More Than You Can Stand....Kneel.

It did.  I did.  And honestly, sometimes it still does.  

I've had a lot to think about over the last few days and sometimes the things that happen to me just bewilder me.  There's a word you don't see very much anymore...bewilder.  Life can be hard and understanding mine is not an easy task sometimes.  

What I do understand though is that I have an incredible, active, and abundant relationship with Jesus, and because of that, a restored relationship with the Father.  Kneeling is a daily practice in my home and prayer without ceasing happens all throughout the day.  I got thinking about that.  I spend more time talking with Jesus than I do watching TV.  I talk about my day.  I ask about things that happen.  I ask what to do when I don't know what to do.  I start my day in the Word with the daily Bible app story for the verse of the day.  

I hit a stuck spot for a minute this week and I got answers I needed.  They were again provided today but sometimes I'm so dense I don't get it right away.  I wanted to know what I was to do.  I kept telling Jesus I don't know what to do.  He kept telling me He knows what He's going to do and that's what I needed to know to know what I needed to do.

Every year during Lent I fast something.  I think it's a good thing and I usually pick my most favorite thing to fast from.  I love me some sweets.  On a good day, I'd go out of my way for a donut.  On a bad day, I'd leap frog over someone for an eclair or something to help me feel better.  I love them, sometimes too much.  It's tough too because girl scout cookies usually happen about the same time as Lent so the temptation remains out of sight behind a cupboard door, but out of mind is another matter entirely.

I have this problem too, about understanding fasting.  So desperate for answers, I thought now would be a good time to do a fast and pray for answers.  And I kept feeling like the Holy Spirit was asking me why I was fasting when I already had them and I was already fasting from something. 

The answers I wanted were different than the answer Jesus had for me.  He, by telling me what He was going to do, told me what I need to do.  And today, after much intense thought and reflection and prayer, He told me something else that's important for me to know, which is that He knows and understands my problem.  He also knows what He's going to do about it and maybe I should just do my part in response to what He's doing.

If me saying my answer lies in what He told me He would do doesn't make sense, read Psalm 23 if you don't know it by heart.  What I need to do is be a good sheep and hear the Good Shepherd's voice and FOLLOW!

Again, I'm so dense sometimes I don't get it.  I want to know about this or that.  Jesus has more in mind, so I'm in understanding that what I need to do is quit worrying about what I can do, what I should do, (I should not quit keeping in mind what NOT to do, though!), or what's going on in places I can't see and just follow.

There's one more thing the Holy Spirit gave me to day and it's this:  Don't be so afraid of the lesson that you do nothing because you don't want to repeat it.  By that I think it means, learn the lesson.  Don't ever do the dumb thing you did (twice!) to have to go through the lesson.  Learn from the experiences in and from the lesson.  And move forward.  A lot to unpack, but there it is.

So, no sweets, but Chinese for dinner so I can help out a local business.  Answers in hand, obedience in mind, and Christ with me.  

Not a bad place to be.