Ode to Tami Jo?
A couple of things happened today that told me I needed to write this blog. I've been trying to for about a week now without much success. It's tough enough to think about, but writing about it has proven extraordinarily difficult. Mostly because I had to deal with some stuff I didn't even know I was carrying around.
First off, for clarification, my NO! has a name. It's Tami Jo. Actually, she has a new name these days because she's the one that got married. The title might suggest and after reading what I'm writing, you might be thinking I'm thinking she's the one that got away. Tami Jo didn't get away. She wasn't the one for me. I could, and have, come to think of it, tell lots and lots of stories about broken things, scratched cars, lost jobs, and any number of disasters we faced when we were seeing each other. Sometimes even talking about seeing each other would result in disaster for either or both of us. For His reasons, God did not want us to be together. God used me to keep Tami Jo from someone. God used Wendi to keep me from Tami Jo. Here's an illustration of that: When Tami Jo met her new husband she called me and it was right about the same time I filed the divorce paperwork.
After three years of delay, crazy and all kinds of what-not, the thing sailed through. Tami Jo is now married and I am now divorced. It wasn't meant to be me.
And I'm sad about that in a way. I hold Tami Jo in my heart as a dear, dear friend. I could tell her anything and I'm telling you, for all she's not, she's one of the best and dearest friends I have. She helped me through some horrible times by being able to do one thing that I've not seen too many people have the ability to do. She put her wants aside and was a good Christian friend. She thought I was stupid for staying married as long as I did and wasn't scared to tell me that, but she encouraged me to do what I thought God was leading me to do.
I'm sure there are any number of times she cried after hanging up the phone with me. That woman loved me but put our friendship tantamount to that. That's love, brother! The stuff I had to deal with was my feelings for her. Seeing her new last name was kind of like a kick in the stomach. I had to deal with a bunch of stuff like jealousy and covetousness. It just took a day or two to work out and I did. Sometimes God gives; sometimes He takes away, and for all those things He deserves praise. In His time, His plan will work for my life. I'm willing', I'm available, and I'm willing to be obedient.
I am the man I am today because of Tami Jo. Had I not met her, I would have never met the woman who dared to live her faith and show me what Christian love looks like when Christians are doing not what they ought. Dating Tami helped me deal with some things I had to for a while. I learned a lot in those three months. I learned a lot about what kind of person she is, how big her heart is, and I'm so thankful I was blessed to be a part of her life.
It's kind of tough trying to explain to someone that you don't think God wants you to be together. In our case though, as phony as an excuse as that sounds, I believe that's true. Had she been the one for me and vice-versa, we would have wound up together.
I often refer to Tami Jo as my NO! But in hindsight with the way things worked out, I think I'm her NO! After all, she found her YES! I'm still searching for mine. I think I may have an idea about that. I'll have to see how things go.
Tami Jo is married. I'm not. She's a woman and I'm a man. What she is to me these days is a friend that God has taken from me. I cannot be "friends" with her because of those things. I am still her friend, but wisdom dictates I don't have a part in her movie anymore. The really cool thing is that the separation is temporary. She's my sister in Christ and I will see her again in heaven, where we can have a friendship that God would approve of.
I decided to share this because some folks thought I was talking about something or someone else. I can't tell these things to Tami Jo directly and she doesn't read the blog anymore, I'm sure.
So you understand now who congratulations are to be offered to. I'm happy for her and hope God truly blesses her and her husband!
First off, for clarification, my NO! has a name. It's Tami Jo. Actually, she has a new name these days because she's the one that got married. The title might suggest and after reading what I'm writing, you might be thinking I'm thinking she's the one that got away. Tami Jo didn't get away. She wasn't the one for me. I could, and have, come to think of it, tell lots and lots of stories about broken things, scratched cars, lost jobs, and any number of disasters we faced when we were seeing each other. Sometimes even talking about seeing each other would result in disaster for either or both of us. For His reasons, God did not want us to be together. God used me to keep Tami Jo from someone. God used Wendi to keep me from Tami Jo. Here's an illustration of that: When Tami Jo met her new husband she called me and it was right about the same time I filed the divorce paperwork.
After three years of delay, crazy and all kinds of what-not, the thing sailed through. Tami Jo is now married and I am now divorced. It wasn't meant to be me.
And I'm sad about that in a way. I hold Tami Jo in my heart as a dear, dear friend. I could tell her anything and I'm telling you, for all she's not, she's one of the best and dearest friends I have. She helped me through some horrible times by being able to do one thing that I've not seen too many people have the ability to do. She put her wants aside and was a good Christian friend. She thought I was stupid for staying married as long as I did and wasn't scared to tell me that, but she encouraged me to do what I thought God was leading me to do.
I'm sure there are any number of times she cried after hanging up the phone with me. That woman loved me but put our friendship tantamount to that. That's love, brother! The stuff I had to deal with was my feelings for her. Seeing her new last name was kind of like a kick in the stomach. I had to deal with a bunch of stuff like jealousy and covetousness. It just took a day or two to work out and I did. Sometimes God gives; sometimes He takes away, and for all those things He deserves praise. In His time, His plan will work for my life. I'm willing', I'm available, and I'm willing to be obedient.
I am the man I am today because of Tami Jo. Had I not met her, I would have never met the woman who dared to live her faith and show me what Christian love looks like when Christians are doing not what they ought. Dating Tami helped me deal with some things I had to for a while. I learned a lot in those three months. I learned a lot about what kind of person she is, how big her heart is, and I'm so thankful I was blessed to be a part of her life.
It's kind of tough trying to explain to someone that you don't think God wants you to be together. In our case though, as phony as an excuse as that sounds, I believe that's true. Had she been the one for me and vice-versa, we would have wound up together.
I often refer to Tami Jo as my NO! But in hindsight with the way things worked out, I think I'm her NO! After all, she found her YES! I'm still searching for mine. I think I may have an idea about that. I'll have to see how things go.
Tami Jo is married. I'm not. She's a woman and I'm a man. What she is to me these days is a friend that God has taken from me. I cannot be "friends" with her because of those things. I am still her friend, but wisdom dictates I don't have a part in her movie anymore. The really cool thing is that the separation is temporary. She's my sister in Christ and I will see her again in heaven, where we can have a friendship that God would approve of.
I decided to share this because some folks thought I was talking about something or someone else. I can't tell these things to Tami Jo directly and she doesn't read the blog anymore, I'm sure.
So you understand now who congratulations are to be offered to. I'm happy for her and hope God truly blesses her and her husband!
I have never been speachless with Dale...till today. In a good way, but speachless. Due to a bad situation (not able or willing to elaborate on) this week God has given both of us our" best friends" satus back! I can not thank God enough for that. Just the other day with sadness and heaviness on my heart I posted on facebook...I wish I had a best friend to talk to. I need not to wish any longer. God seems to be speaking to me in a huge way about my future which I know not what it holds today or anytime soon, and that is ok with me.
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