And part two....

What I've learned lately, I'm trying to apply to the oddest thing I've ever faced.  I mean that.  Over the years I've learned that when you lose, it's best to lose and walk away.  But this time, walking away seems to be not part of the plan.  It's like being forced to watch as the decision you made has consequences you could never imagine, and having to watch them as they play out.

Running away isn't in the cards.

I deserve that.  I mean that.  It's a blessing because it will keep me from being stupid tonight. And tomorrow.  It kept me from being stupid yesterday, etc...

You get the idea.

Whatever your opinion about where I'm at, where I'm at is where I am.  And this is what the Bible has to say:

 Psalm 127 v1:  Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.

From Jeremiah 10:23...Lord I know that peoples' lives are not their own; it is not for them to direct their steps.

From Proverbs  16:1  To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue  16:3  Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.  16:4  The Lord works out everything to its proper end--even the wicked for a day of disaster.  16:9 In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.

I read Proverbs each morning.  There are 31 chapters so I read one a day and two or 3 when there are only 30 or less days in the month.  Tomorrow is the 16th, so I will read and apply these to my day tomorrow.

Proverbs 15:10 says this.  Stern discipline awaits those who leave the path.  Those who hate correction will die.

And this from Psalm 138: (NLT)   The Lord will work out his plans for my life—
    for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever.
    Don’t abandon me, for you made me.

That's not cherry picking Scripture.  That's God's take on my life.

Each Christian (ok, this is gonna get bumpy....) makes a choice.  Who is Lord in your life?

I got into this mess because I told God what I wanted and expected Him to bless it.  So He gave it to me.  And then He showed me why it was the worst thing possible.  So, that's when I did the smart thing:  I said this:  OK, God, obviously I suck at figuring out who I belong with.  How about you pick someone for me?

There are six billion people on earth.  Three billion of them are women.  Of them, 150,000,000 live in America.  And the one He picked for me is named....well you know

But the thing is this:  What do I believe about Jesus?  If He's the Lord of my life, well,.......

So I'm single.  And available.  To just one person. 

For the why that is, see above!

So I go on with my little life.  There are days like today where it hurts like hell.  Tomorrow won't because I'll remember why it shouldn't have hurt today. 


So, do I trust God with this?  I have to.  His word tells me to.  I can't explain how I know it's the right thing to do, except a nudge here or there by the Holy Spirit which only believers could understand.  I just "know".  And every time I tell God, "I don't know..." He reminds me:  "yes, you do." 

So I want Him to do it now.  But I told you, He's not gonna let me run away this time.  I've been running my whole life.  Ran from Shellie to Julie; from Julie to Wendi; from Wendi to the worst mistake I ever made, then felt God tugging on my life and back to Wendi.  Lost Wendi to Vincent.  Became a Christian.  Got Tami Jo.  Realized God's power on my life.  Got rid of Tami Jo.  Tried to fix my marriage because I felt it was right.  I didn't win that one.  After that, I could walk away from something, and did.

THE one.  I never asked God about which one was THE one.  And when He gave her to me, he told me to love her.  I disobeyed Him.  And who is THE one?

She, well, my Who, she was it.

And I was stupid.

And I got this.

And I can't run away from it.  When it's time, things will be the way God wants them.  But these lessons come with one hell of a price...and I'm paying it.  Out of love.  Out of obedience.  Because this is where God led me.

See above.