Advice and dissent....

I don't give advice any more.  I used to have an opinion on everything!  It was the "Guard Guy" in me.  We used to joke about doing projects because almost without fail, someone who would walk into your shop and watch what you were doing would ask you this:

"What are you doing it that way for?" and then proceed to tell you that you were doing it all wrong.

I laugh about that but it's true.  And sometimes, even very well-meaning friends give me some advice I can't follow because of the circumstances in my life.  It happened to me earlier in the week.  A friend who knows some of the "swiss cheese" details of my life told me that in my circumstances, God allows for divorce.  That may be true, and whether or not it is, I've been saying for months I don't believe that's the way He's leading me.

I'm doing this little workbook as a devotional that my pastor gave me and today's lesson really struck a chord with me.  It's something I've been feeling about the not-so-random random.  It happens still but I don't talk about it much with y'all anymore.  It's kind of more subtle since I've had a change of heart about a couple of things.  But random still is and it happened again this morning, but just with a Bible verse or two.

At least though, I can explain that feeling I've had about these verses and this is what I know about my life today.  I have to stick this out and follow God's word.  I can't explain it better than that but maybe it's His way of seeing if I can be faithful.  I clearly don't understand, but then maybe I really don't need to.  Maybe what's required is just faith, a willingness to obey God's word, and trusting in Him.

And even if things don't work out with me and the Mrs., I will always know I did my best to fix what was broken and changed what I needed to.  I can live with the choices I made since last September and know I did my part and always give glory to God for at least letting me try.  It couldn't have happened without him.

Today would have made eight years together for the Mrs. and I.  It's been a bittersweet day because it's an occasion to me remembered, but not celebrated this year.  We had 6 pretty good years and then this.  But even through this, I've found my Lord and Savior and as sad as today is for me, I still have the joy in my heart and faith that things will work out the way they're supposed to.

So, gang, I appreciate the advice but I just have to let this play out the way God wills it to.  Some may think it's foolish, or a stupid choice, or I'm just refusing to recognize reality.  I assure you it's none of those things.  Maybe by being faithful to God's word and what I believe to be His will in the matter, I can show the Mrs. that I can be trusted again.

And, friends, don't worry about me.  Really, I'm fine.  I'm getting so much out of this experience that will make me a better man, better friend, better husband (if I get the chance), and make me better able to serve my Lord.

Besides, I'd much rather pay the price for my sins now than for all eternity.