A past I'm not proud of; a future I can be proud of
Hi, everyone! A week with no posts and then two in one day. I don't have that much to say, really, but for those that missed it, here is the message I shared at church today with the congregation. It was a humbling experience, to be sure and although during the process of writing the message and giving it, some wounds not healed were re-opened, I do know this. What I was is not what I am, nor ever want to be again. Not that I'm where I'd like to be, but I'm getting there.
I didn't title the message, but in the title for the blog post, I thought this was appropriate. I'm not proud of the past. Sorrow and remorse are too small of words to explain what I feel about the things I've done, but through knowing Christ, I not only found forgiveness, but I found if I allowed God to work in my life, He can do things I can't.
I pray a little prayer most days that goes something like this: "God, glorify Yourself through my life, at my expense." Some days, He takes me up on that. Yesterday was a day like that, so was today. I hope you'll find some value in the message.
Here it is:
Good morning,
God works in our lives and that I’m here in front of you this morning to share this story with you is a testament to that. When I first heard that one of the men of the church would be asked to give the sermon today, I didn’t volunteer. I went home, thought about it during the day, and then asked God if it would be in his good will, could I deliver the message on this day. The very next day, Pastor Karl asked me if I’d be willing to share with you. Prayers are answered.
I ‘m a story teller. I have a story for just about any circumstance you could think of, most of them I don’t tell anymore. They’re from a past I’m not proud of, but even since becoming a Christian I’ve lived a pretty interesting life. My walk thusfar has been quite eventful and boy, could I tell you stories. There are thee lessons I want to share with you at the end, but first I have to tell you a story before I tell you what I want to tell you.
I came to know Christ at a point in my life where my whole world fell apart. I made some very bad choices, partly from a life of sin, partly from a hard heart, but mostly from being probably the most selfish person I knew. Those choices have cost me relationships with family that should have been the most important things in my life. Unfortunately, the most important thing in my life was, well, and I’m ashamed to say this, me.
I had it all. I had a great job I loved. I had a wonderful wife. I had a little business. God blessed me with three wonderful boys,that, despite their father’s efforts, have grown into fine young men. No matter what I had, I always wanted more. Nothing but the best was ever good enough for me. I saw friends with all the toys and trappings that can come from success and I wanted those things, too. When I couldn’t have them, I became impossible to live with. And I was mean. I had it all and threw it all away in a fit of anger over something I misunderstood.
And then, on a lonely Saturday night in April, the day before Easter last year, I hit the lowest point in my life. The job was gone, the wife was gone, the business was gone, and just about everything I knew was crashing down around me, I came home and saw a little plaque in the entry way of my home that said this: “When life gets to be more than you can stand, KNEEL”. And I did.
The day before, on Good Friday, I’d driven past the church and saw that there would be an Easter sunrise service at the park. I knew Pastor Karl because he married my wife and I. I knew I needed some answers and the Lord led me here. I went to the service in the park and asked him if we could meet. We did, the following Tuesday.
I shared with him the story of the things I’d done to destroy my life and he gave me three pieces of advice and something I needed more than anything in the world… a hug. I followed his advice and a few days later I accepted Christ as Savior.
For some, I imagine, the transformation is radical, an overnight change, but for me it was a little different. Mine was more of a process because I had some not so Christian views about Salvation and what it meant to be a Christian. A long time ago, I put God in a box in my mind of what I thought he was. I thought, foolishly, that being saved meant you went to church every week, put some money in the plate, and went about your business during the week. I’d never in my 45 years, read the Bible and the process of me changing my heart was a slow, and painful one. In the interest of time I’ll skip the details, but there were things in 1 Corinthians Chapter 6 that I was guilty of.
An overnight, miraculous transformation was not what God had planned for me. First He had to get my attention, then He began the process of turning my life upside down and teaching me hard lesson after hard lesson. I’ve paid a dear price for my sinful past, and so have others close to me. It was during that process, I began to see where God was working in my life, and His word, the Bible began speaking to me, through the Holy Spirit, and that Word began to paint a picture of life the way it should be lived.
God does talk to us today. In the book “Experiencing God”, authors Henry Blackaby and Claude King write “ God speaks by the Holy Spirit through the Bible, prayer, circumstances and through the church to reveal Himself, His purposes, and His ways. Keeping this in mind, a lot of random, circumstantial things happen in my life. One thing I can pass off as well, just random, but two things in the span of a couple of days, well, that’s another thing entirely. Here’s just one example of how God works in my life.
I’d like to share a quote from AW Tozer: It is doubtful whether God can use a man greatly, until first He wounds him deeply." I heard it after talking to God and asking Him for some direction on which way to go with this little talk. It touched me because it has such a ring of truth to it for me becaue God had done just that to me. A coupe of days later, I received my monthly newsletter from BBN Radio. The title of this month’s lead article was “Patient Waiting & Perfect timing. In the text was this line: …God must prepare our hearts and the hearts of others to complete His plan. Some hearts He hardens, like Pharaoh’s. Some He breaks, like David, Hosea, Jeremiah, and Joseph. God aims at the heart, not the head. It takes time to mold and melt the heart of those He will use. Give God time, and He will bring it to pass.”
Interesting, because it’s a fitting description of the things the Lord used to accomplish this task in me. In a nutshell, just about every rotten thing I’d ever done to anyone over thirty two years had been revisited on me in just under one. God went right for what little heart I had left and smashed it to pieces. Had I been in a different place with God, I would have become bitter and angry. At the outset, though, I understood that God’s discipline is always for our good and His Glory and that there was a lesson to be learned in each experience. God’s lessons for me these days come these days through most odd circumstances. Ask me sometime what a 20 year old , one fanged pussycat named Simba taught me about loving our enemies. Learning these lesson is all part of God’s plan to mold me into what He would have me to be, not the other way around.
There are several verses in the Bible that use the analogy of God being a potter, and us the clay, Romans 9:19-21 for instance. In my case, though, God had to utterly destroy what I was and He did. Hebrews Chapter 12 Verses 1-12 talk of God’s love through His discipline. Verse six reads “Because the Lord disciplines those He loves, and he punishes everyone He accepts as a son.
And here I am today, a work in progress, but becoming someone God can use. He is the Potter, I am the clay, and there isn’t hardly a day that goes by that I don’t see God at work, be it in my own life, or the life of someone else.
There are three lessons I’d like to share with you today, ones that I hope you’ll take to heart.
The first one is this: God answers prayers. As I mentioned to you before, I’m standing here as an answer to a prayer. Sometimes the answer is so obvious though, that we fail to see it. Sometimes God’s answer to our prayer is to be right where we’re at. Often times, I think it’s an overlooked answer. I have to tell you that through circumstances that I could not have made happen, the things in my life are exactly the way God wants them to be and I’m waiting for God to work His will. Sometimes, the answer to a prayer may be no. Sometimes, we ask God for what we think we need and He provides His solution to our problem which may not be what we had in mind. Remember His ways are always best. Keep praying. Keep Praising Him.
The second lesson is: If you accept Christ as Lord and Savior, don’t be surprised when He takes you up on the Lord part. There are many terms used to describe Jesus: Redeemer, Savior, the Lamb of God, The good Shepherd; King of Kings, Lord of Lords. Being Lord means He expects us to submit to His will instead of our own.
As I mentioned before, God works in our lives. Even today He speaks to us. With me, it’s mostly through circumstance, coupled with His word. It’s through things that at face value would appear random, like the earlier story about the AW Tozer quote. It all points me to a direction in my life; the path that God wants me on. The moment I start heading for a different path, or want to change direction or go my own way, some things happen to me that let me know I’m not going where I need to be. If you doubt me in this, ask Miss June, or even Pastor Karl what happens in my life when I try to go my own way. If left to my own devices, I’d be living in a trailer close to the beach someplace on the Oregon Central Coast. God had other plans and I’m right where I need to be. He’s shown me that in no uncertain terms. You have to LIVE the word.
That’s the last lesson: Ya gotta live it.
I can stand up here or anywhere else and proclaim to be a Christian without living the word. Nobody should.
Saying it is easy. Doing it is the hard part.
I had to learn to let go and not only to trust God, which was very hard for me, but to OBEY. We’ve sung the hymn “trust and obey” in this church before. But doing it? I mean really doing it, when it comes at a very personal cost? I’m here to tell you that if you’re telling folks you’re a Christian but your life says something else, you’re headed for an encounter with God that you won’t forget. Being a Christian means living the whole Word, not just the parts we like. I tried being that kind of Christian at first and that’s when the lessons came.
Living the word isn’t always easy. Jesus never said it would be. He in fact, told us in several places it wouldn’t be. You will have to make hard choices, changes in your life, and give up some things. You never know how God will change your life, what plans He has for you. What I do know, at least in my case is that God’s plans are better than my plans. His way is always better than my way.
I can tell you too, that sometimes you may have to make a decision to trust and obey God’s word, even when the outcome of that is uncertain. I’d add this, too: Even if what you believe what God is asking you to do makes absolutely no sense, you need to trust and obey.. God doesn’t change and if He’s asking you to do something, it will never go against His Holy word. It seems to me that trusting what we don’t understand is a big part of faith. But we need to be willing to submit to His will for us. His rules for living our lives are right here in the Bible, It’s God’s love letter to His children, his instruction manual for everything and I do mean EVERYTHING, on living life, and filled with examples of what the costs are when you don’t. God expects us to follow His word.
Solomon, who is credited by many as being the wisest man who ever lived, writes in book of Ecclesiastes chapter 12:13 which says “Now all has been heard here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man”
When we do this, God is faithful in His promises to us. I told you I’ve had a rough year and a half, but June and I have had a pretty good last couple of weeks. I have a better job. We’re still in our home, which was touch and go there for a while. June is feeling better and back to work. Little by little, and just when I need it, God shows me that “trust and obey” is a pretty good idea. He may chasten us when required but He does bless us, sometimes in the most unusual ways. I may not get what I want, but I always seem to have what I need. And I’m content with that!
One last thought I’d like to share with you is to reiterate something I started out with. The glory for the changes in my life that led me from a path of an ungodly life to the man you see today belongs to God! That he could take someone like me and use me for His purposes is a testament to His love, and the grace of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. No matter the circumstance, winning or losing, there is always something to give God glory for. It may be for a lesson learned the hard way, or a blessing you didn’t see coming, but in every circumstance look for the way to glorify the Heavenly Father.
To God be the glory, and in the end, after everything, good and bad we experience, isn’t giving the glory to God the only thing that really matters?
I didn't title the message, but in the title for the blog post, I thought this was appropriate. I'm not proud of the past. Sorrow and remorse are too small of words to explain what I feel about the things I've done, but through knowing Christ, I not only found forgiveness, but I found if I allowed God to work in my life, He can do things I can't.
I pray a little prayer most days that goes something like this: "God, glorify Yourself through my life, at my expense." Some days, He takes me up on that. Yesterday was a day like that, so was today. I hope you'll find some value in the message.
Here it is:
Good morning,
God works in our lives and that I’m here in front of you this morning to share this story with you is a testament to that. When I first heard that one of the men of the church would be asked to give the sermon today, I didn’t volunteer. I went home, thought about it during the day, and then asked God if it would be in his good will, could I deliver the message on this day. The very next day, Pastor Karl asked me if I’d be willing to share with you. Prayers are answered.
I ‘m a story teller. I have a story for just about any circumstance you could think of, most of them I don’t tell anymore. They’re from a past I’m not proud of, but even since becoming a Christian I’ve lived a pretty interesting life. My walk thusfar has been quite eventful and boy, could I tell you stories. There are thee lessons I want to share with you at the end, but first I have to tell you a story before I tell you what I want to tell you.
I came to know Christ at a point in my life where my whole world fell apart. I made some very bad choices, partly from a life of sin, partly from a hard heart, but mostly from being probably the most selfish person I knew. Those choices have cost me relationships with family that should have been the most important things in my life. Unfortunately, the most important thing in my life was, well, and I’m ashamed to say this, me.
I had it all. I had a great job I loved. I had a wonderful wife. I had a little business. God blessed me with three wonderful boys,that, despite their father’s efforts, have grown into fine young men. No matter what I had, I always wanted more. Nothing but the best was ever good enough for me. I saw friends with all the toys and trappings that can come from success and I wanted those things, too. When I couldn’t have them, I became impossible to live with. And I was mean. I had it all and threw it all away in a fit of anger over something I misunderstood.
And then, on a lonely Saturday night in April, the day before Easter last year, I hit the lowest point in my life. The job was gone, the wife was gone, the business was gone, and just about everything I knew was crashing down around me, I came home and saw a little plaque in the entry way of my home that said this: “When life gets to be more than you can stand, KNEEL”. And I did.
The day before, on Good Friday, I’d driven past the church and saw that there would be an Easter sunrise service at the park. I knew Pastor Karl because he married my wife and I. I knew I needed some answers and the Lord led me here. I went to the service in the park and asked him if we could meet. We did, the following Tuesday.
I shared with him the story of the things I’d done to destroy my life and he gave me three pieces of advice and something I needed more than anything in the world… a hug. I followed his advice and a few days later I accepted Christ as Savior.
For some, I imagine, the transformation is radical, an overnight change, but for me it was a little different. Mine was more of a process because I had some not so Christian views about Salvation and what it meant to be a Christian. A long time ago, I put God in a box in my mind of what I thought he was. I thought, foolishly, that being saved meant you went to church every week, put some money in the plate, and went about your business during the week. I’d never in my 45 years, read the Bible and the process of me changing my heart was a slow, and painful one. In the interest of time I’ll skip the details, but there were things in 1 Corinthians Chapter 6 that I was guilty of.
An overnight, miraculous transformation was not what God had planned for me. First He had to get my attention, then He began the process of turning my life upside down and teaching me hard lesson after hard lesson. I’ve paid a dear price for my sinful past, and so have others close to me. It was during that process, I began to see where God was working in my life, and His word, the Bible began speaking to me, through the Holy Spirit, and that Word began to paint a picture of life the way it should be lived.
God does talk to us today. In the book “Experiencing God”, authors Henry Blackaby and Claude King write “ God speaks by the Holy Spirit through the Bible, prayer, circumstances and through the church to reveal Himself, His purposes, and His ways. Keeping this in mind, a lot of random, circumstantial things happen in my life. One thing I can pass off as well, just random, but two things in the span of a couple of days, well, that’s another thing entirely. Here’s just one example of how God works in my life.
I’d like to share a quote from AW Tozer: It is doubtful whether God can use a man greatly, until first He wounds him deeply." I heard it after talking to God and asking Him for some direction on which way to go with this little talk. It touched me because it has such a ring of truth to it for me becaue God had done just that to me. A coupe of days later, I received my monthly newsletter from BBN Radio. The title of this month’s lead article was “Patient Waiting & Perfect timing. In the text was this line: …God must prepare our hearts and the hearts of others to complete His plan. Some hearts He hardens, like Pharaoh’s. Some He breaks, like David, Hosea, Jeremiah, and Joseph. God aims at the heart, not the head. It takes time to mold and melt the heart of those He will use. Give God time, and He will bring it to pass.”
Interesting, because it’s a fitting description of the things the Lord used to accomplish this task in me. In a nutshell, just about every rotten thing I’d ever done to anyone over thirty two years had been revisited on me in just under one. God went right for what little heart I had left and smashed it to pieces. Had I been in a different place with God, I would have become bitter and angry. At the outset, though, I understood that God’s discipline is always for our good and His Glory and that there was a lesson to be learned in each experience. God’s lessons for me these days come these days through most odd circumstances. Ask me sometime what a 20 year old , one fanged pussycat named Simba taught me about loving our enemies. Learning these lesson is all part of God’s plan to mold me into what He would have me to be, not the other way around.
There are several verses in the Bible that use the analogy of God being a potter, and us the clay, Romans 9:19-21 for instance. In my case, though, God had to utterly destroy what I was and He did. Hebrews Chapter 12 Verses 1-12 talk of God’s love through His discipline. Verse six reads “Because the Lord disciplines those He loves, and he punishes everyone He accepts as a son.
And here I am today, a work in progress, but becoming someone God can use. He is the Potter, I am the clay, and there isn’t hardly a day that goes by that I don’t see God at work, be it in my own life, or the life of someone else.
There are three lessons I’d like to share with you today, ones that I hope you’ll take to heart.
The first one is this: God answers prayers. As I mentioned to you before, I’m standing here as an answer to a prayer. Sometimes the answer is so obvious though, that we fail to see it. Sometimes God’s answer to our prayer is to be right where we’re at. Often times, I think it’s an overlooked answer. I have to tell you that through circumstances that I could not have made happen, the things in my life are exactly the way God wants them to be and I’m waiting for God to work His will. Sometimes, the answer to a prayer may be no. Sometimes, we ask God for what we think we need and He provides His solution to our problem which may not be what we had in mind. Remember His ways are always best. Keep praying. Keep Praising Him.
The second lesson is: If you accept Christ as Lord and Savior, don’t be surprised when He takes you up on the Lord part. There are many terms used to describe Jesus: Redeemer, Savior, the Lamb of God, The good Shepherd; King of Kings, Lord of Lords. Being Lord means He expects us to submit to His will instead of our own.
As I mentioned before, God works in our lives. Even today He speaks to us. With me, it’s mostly through circumstance, coupled with His word. It’s through things that at face value would appear random, like the earlier story about the AW Tozer quote. It all points me to a direction in my life; the path that God wants me on. The moment I start heading for a different path, or want to change direction or go my own way, some things happen to me that let me know I’m not going where I need to be. If you doubt me in this, ask Miss June, or even Pastor Karl what happens in my life when I try to go my own way. If left to my own devices, I’d be living in a trailer close to the beach someplace on the Oregon Central Coast. God had other plans and I’m right where I need to be. He’s shown me that in no uncertain terms. You have to LIVE the word.
That’s the last lesson: Ya gotta live it.
I can stand up here or anywhere else and proclaim to be a Christian without living the word. Nobody should.
Saying it is easy. Doing it is the hard part.
I had to learn to let go and not only to trust God, which was very hard for me, but to OBEY. We’ve sung the hymn “trust and obey” in this church before. But doing it? I mean really doing it, when it comes at a very personal cost? I’m here to tell you that if you’re telling folks you’re a Christian but your life says something else, you’re headed for an encounter with God that you won’t forget. Being a Christian means living the whole Word, not just the parts we like. I tried being that kind of Christian at first and that’s when the lessons came.
Living the word isn’t always easy. Jesus never said it would be. He in fact, told us in several places it wouldn’t be. You will have to make hard choices, changes in your life, and give up some things. You never know how God will change your life, what plans He has for you. What I do know, at least in my case is that God’s plans are better than my plans. His way is always better than my way.
I can tell you too, that sometimes you may have to make a decision to trust and obey God’s word, even when the outcome of that is uncertain. I’d add this, too: Even if what you believe what God is asking you to do makes absolutely no sense, you need to trust and obey.. God doesn’t change and if He’s asking you to do something, it will never go against His Holy word. It seems to me that trusting what we don’t understand is a big part of faith. But we need to be willing to submit to His will for us. His rules for living our lives are right here in the Bible, It’s God’s love letter to His children, his instruction manual for everything and I do mean EVERYTHING, on living life, and filled with examples of what the costs are when you don’t. God expects us to follow His word.
Solomon, who is credited by many as being the wisest man who ever lived, writes in book of Ecclesiastes chapter 12:13 which says “Now all has been heard here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man”
When we do this, God is faithful in His promises to us. I told you I’ve had a rough year and a half, but June and I have had a pretty good last couple of weeks. I have a better job. We’re still in our home, which was touch and go there for a while. June is feeling better and back to work. Little by little, and just when I need it, God shows me that “trust and obey” is a pretty good idea. He may chasten us when required but He does bless us, sometimes in the most unusual ways. I may not get what I want, but I always seem to have what I need. And I’m content with that!
One last thought I’d like to share with you is to reiterate something I started out with. The glory for the changes in my life that led me from a path of an ungodly life to the man you see today belongs to God! That he could take someone like me and use me for His purposes is a testament to His love, and the grace of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. No matter the circumstance, winning or losing, there is always something to give God glory for. It may be for a lesson learned the hard way, or a blessing you didn’t see coming, but in every circumstance look for the way to glorify the Heavenly Father.
To God be the glory, and in the end, after everything, good and bad we experience, isn’t giving the glory to God the only thing that really matters?
Very welll said!!! I wish I could have been here to hear you share this with the congregation. If any one can testify that you are doing God's will ... weather or not it is what you want, it is me. I am so thankful I could be a small part of the transformation.I ask you to pray it would come as real to me as it did for you. Your friend forever!
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