I wanna be a job creator!
Dear ruling class,
Like you, I want to be a job creator and you can help me. Here's how:
I have a very large home that needs some upgrades, but like most in America, right now I can't afford to hire the folks I'd like to or buy the materials I'd need to do the things I'd like to around the place, so here's my proposition:
If each of the candidates or their supporters would throw $10,000 my way instead of buying just one 30 second ad on television, I promise to take that money and create some jobs.
I'll hire a contractor and make sure he uses only American citizens to do the work around the place. That's gonna cost me a bit more money, but I'm willing. I'll need a furnace guy to move things around downstairs. I'll need a backhoe guy to come in and dig around the foundation, so the concrete guy can come in and cut bigger window holes in the foundation. I'll need the window well guys to come in and put new window wells in said windows.
I'll need a plumber to come in and replace the water main I only had enough money to have repaired. Repair was $300. Replace was $3,000. I went with what I had. That will keep someone's crew busy for a couple of days. While they're here, maybe if you decided to go without another 30 seconds of TV, I could have them replace the deteriorating copper pipe instead of just fixing the pinhole leaks when they happen.
While I'm having the HVAC guys move the furnaces to a better spot, maybe I could have them fix the one that doesn't work too well. It needs a $350 part. They wanted $750 to change it (parts & labor) last time I checked. While they're here, I need both of my central air units repaired. They both quit working last summer.
I'll need the framers to come in, too. That way, I can have real walls and real rooms downstairs. (why this is important, I'll get to in a minute). Of course, I'm going to need new windows and that will create some jobs or at least help keep some jobs and lower my heating bills in the winter. That's a good thing for me and the environment.
After the framers leave, I'll need an electrician. The main circuit breaker panel in my house is one that is a known fire hazard and the wiring in the house is not the 3 wire stuff you need for today's appliances. With the downstairs ceiling removed, they can rewire the entire house. That ought to take a couple of weeks.
After that, I'll need the drywall guys to come in. After they're done, we'll need the countertop and cabinet guys. For two kitchens, one up and one down.
We're gonna create some work for a designer, too. I need someone to come in, lay all this work out, and finish it. After drywall, we're gonna need the tile and carpet guys. While they're working, we're gonna need the landscapers to come in and fix the lot so it drains right. While they're here, they can re-do the sprinkler system so that the heads aren't sunken into the ground so they'll work better. They can replace the manual valves with automatic ones.
I'll need the fence guys too. Part of the back lot is not fenced, so it would be nice to get this done so I can let the dogs just roam the whole place. I'd also need concrete guys to come in and replace the driveway and garage floor because the concrete is flaking away in these spots. The corners on the foundation need to be repaired, too. They've cracked over the years.
When we're done with the remodel, the last thing we'll need is appliances. There isn't a dishwasher downstairs and the dishwasher upstairs doesn't work. The stove downstairs is from the 1970's and was bought at a junk store for $20. The stove upstairs has a burner that doesn't work. The microwave above the stove needs to be replaced, but I have a spare one in the garage fortunately.
And, if there's money left over, maybe we could have the vinyl siding guys come in and put vinyl under the eaves instead of the plywood. Also, as a finishing touch, even though the house is mostly brick, there are some spots that need paint, so I could keep a painter busy for a couple of days.
Seriously, these are things I'd need to do in order to split this gargantuan house of mine into a rental. I can't rent it because the windows in the basement are too small for escape windows. That's a need to fix. The story about the water main is true. It's repaired. It needs to be replaced. The furnace story is true, also, as is the air conditioner story, and the driveway story, and the water pipe story, the electrical panel story, etc...
So what would this do for the economy? Well, not much, really. It'd keep some folks working for about three months. It would enable me to have the bottom half of my house rentable for someone who can't really afford a nice place, which is something I'd really like to do with the house (If it's in God's plan for me to stay here). My plan, though, is to buy local as much as I can so that I could keep the jobs here in my home state.
And I'd be a job creator!!!!!
Oh, and a side note to the candidates or any other rich people that would maybe want to contribute to my cause: I work. I'm a federal employee. I fix airplanes for the military at a depot. I didn't get a raise in 2011. I will not get a raise in 2012. If the .5% (that's one half of one percent) raise the President proposes is left intact, I will not see this raise until the end of September of 2013. That works out to about 13 cents an hour. 25 cents an hour equates to $10 a week, gross pay. My healthcare premiums will go up more than this over the two years I don't see a pay raise.
Look, I wanna be a job creator, too. All I need is some financial backing........
Like you, I want to be a job creator and you can help me. Here's how:
I have a very large home that needs some upgrades, but like most in America, right now I can't afford to hire the folks I'd like to or buy the materials I'd need to do the things I'd like to around the place, so here's my proposition:
If each of the candidates or their supporters would throw $10,000 my way instead of buying just one 30 second ad on television, I promise to take that money and create some jobs.
I'll hire a contractor and make sure he uses only American citizens to do the work around the place. That's gonna cost me a bit more money, but I'm willing. I'll need a furnace guy to move things around downstairs. I'll need a backhoe guy to come in and dig around the foundation, so the concrete guy can come in and cut bigger window holes in the foundation. I'll need the window well guys to come in and put new window wells in said windows.
I'll need a plumber to come in and replace the water main I only had enough money to have repaired. Repair was $300. Replace was $3,000. I went with what I had. That will keep someone's crew busy for a couple of days. While they're here, maybe if you decided to go without another 30 seconds of TV, I could have them replace the deteriorating copper pipe instead of just fixing the pinhole leaks when they happen.
While I'm having the HVAC guys move the furnaces to a better spot, maybe I could have them fix the one that doesn't work too well. It needs a $350 part. They wanted $750 to change it (parts & labor) last time I checked. While they're here, I need both of my central air units repaired. They both quit working last summer.
I'll need the framers to come in, too. That way, I can have real walls and real rooms downstairs. (why this is important, I'll get to in a minute). Of course, I'm going to need new windows and that will create some jobs or at least help keep some jobs and lower my heating bills in the winter. That's a good thing for me and the environment.
After the framers leave, I'll need an electrician. The main circuit breaker panel in my house is one that is a known fire hazard and the wiring in the house is not the 3 wire stuff you need for today's appliances. With the downstairs ceiling removed, they can rewire the entire house. That ought to take a couple of weeks.
After that, I'll need the drywall guys to come in. After they're done, we'll need the countertop and cabinet guys. For two kitchens, one up and one down.
We're gonna create some work for a designer, too. I need someone to come in, lay all this work out, and finish it. After drywall, we're gonna need the tile and carpet guys. While they're working, we're gonna need the landscapers to come in and fix the lot so it drains right. While they're here, they can re-do the sprinkler system so that the heads aren't sunken into the ground so they'll work better. They can replace the manual valves with automatic ones.
I'll need the fence guys too. Part of the back lot is not fenced, so it would be nice to get this done so I can let the dogs just roam the whole place. I'd also need concrete guys to come in and replace the driveway and garage floor because the concrete is flaking away in these spots. The corners on the foundation need to be repaired, too. They've cracked over the years.
When we're done with the remodel, the last thing we'll need is appliances. There isn't a dishwasher downstairs and the dishwasher upstairs doesn't work. The stove downstairs is from the 1970's and was bought at a junk store for $20. The stove upstairs has a burner that doesn't work. The microwave above the stove needs to be replaced, but I have a spare one in the garage fortunately.
And, if there's money left over, maybe we could have the vinyl siding guys come in and put vinyl under the eaves instead of the plywood. Also, as a finishing touch, even though the house is mostly brick, there are some spots that need paint, so I could keep a painter busy for a couple of days.
Seriously, these are things I'd need to do in order to split this gargantuan house of mine into a rental. I can't rent it because the windows in the basement are too small for escape windows. That's a need to fix. The story about the water main is true. It's repaired. It needs to be replaced. The furnace story is true, also, as is the air conditioner story, and the driveway story, and the water pipe story, the electrical panel story, etc...
So what would this do for the economy? Well, not much, really. It'd keep some folks working for about three months. It would enable me to have the bottom half of my house rentable for someone who can't really afford a nice place, which is something I'd really like to do with the house (If it's in God's plan for me to stay here). My plan, though, is to buy local as much as I can so that I could keep the jobs here in my home state.
And I'd be a job creator!!!!!
Oh, and a side note to the candidates or any other rich people that would maybe want to contribute to my cause: I work. I'm a federal employee. I fix airplanes for the military at a depot. I didn't get a raise in 2011. I will not get a raise in 2012. If the .5% (that's one half of one percent) raise the President proposes is left intact, I will not see this raise until the end of September of 2013. That works out to about 13 cents an hour. 25 cents an hour equates to $10 a week, gross pay. My healthcare premiums will go up more than this over the two years I don't see a pay raise.
Look, I wanna be a job creator, too. All I need is some financial backing........
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