What was supposed to happen, didn't
We take lots of things for granted in life and it's when things don't happen like they should that we do stuff. For example, we take for granted when we flip on a switch that the lights will come on. When it doesn't, we change a bulb, assuming it's the bulb. If the bulb doesn't work, we head for the breaker and if that's not it, well, we're in for a whole different set of problems.
I got into my car yesterday and as I was backing out the driveway, I pushed down on the brake pedal and the car didn't want to stop. I pulled a wheel off of it last night and couldn't find what was wrong. What I did find is the transmission is leaking fluid. The car is running really rough too. It doesn't want to start half the time anymore. It's about on its' last legs and I'm gonna have to get Chevron back from the kid one more time.
I need a reliable vehicle to get to and from work.
I counted on something happening on Sunday that didn't. Two things really bother me about that. One is that someone else was counting on me Sunday and because I was let down, I let someone else down. The other thing that bothered me is the "no big deal, I didn't forget ya, but you weren't exactly a priority" attitude of the person who let me down. Had that person talked to me, I could have made other arrangements and not let down the person I did.
I try to do the things I should. Sometimes it's a struggle. Other times, it's easy, but often times in the last three years, trying to do good for others has come at a cost and lately, I've been counting that cost. It started out with a plan to re-evaluate priorities that was closely followed up by the finger of accusation pointed squarely at me. That caused me to re-think my priorities and wonder about why things seem to go horribly wrong for me when I try to do the right thing.
It's just part of life, I suppose. I know that not everything I ever do will be met with success but it would be nice to see some forward movement instead of what I'm seeing now. The thing is though, that I may not see forward movement, but I do see God.
Galatians 6:9 was a gift from God last night. It's the "hang in there" verse and I needed so badly to see it when I did. It would be easy to get into the pity party or just quit when you're so overwhelmed like I am. It was just nice to be lifted up by a verse of scripture to remind me that I'm not alone, nor am I the first or last that will feel a bit beat down by life's trials.
It's been good for me to re-evaluate things. I fixed the dishwasher the other day. I finally got my lawn mowed yesterday. I had to do it twice but it's done. I looked the car over and right now I can't see what's wrong with it. I filled up the brake fluid reservoir and hopefully driving it a bit will help. I'm just going to have to be really careful, but I think my time with the Saturn is coming to a close. I should have gotten rid of it years ago. It was a means to an end that is now coming to its' own end, I suppose.
The hut is clean today. I had plenty of time to sweep floors. I flipped the mattress on my old bed and fixed the legs underneath where the dog had bumped it. The bed frame is about shot. I bought the furniture at a discount store and got what I paid for. It's broken and needs to go, like a lot of things around here. I fixed it so it wouldn't fall apart, but sooner than later there won't be any more fixing it. My roommate was concerned it would fall apart and fall on the beagle, who still to this day sleeps under the bed.
Things around here will get better. I only have about ten more payments on the youngest and then he'll be all mine. Then it'll be how to pay for college. My other problems were not as big as I made them out to be. I have time if I make time. Making time means trusting that God's gonna provide what I need, and that includes time to get things done. I can't ever lose sight of Him even in the messes of life and it's His guiding hand that's helped me make it through the last two days without freaking out.
Sometimes I get so busy wanting to sprint to a finish line that I forget that all I can see is the top of the hill and not that finish line. I sense that it's close but that may not be the case. Maybe all I need to do is just focus on getting done the things that are there today and quit trying to plan out every minute of my life. I dunno.
I just know that God is still on the throne and if the car is gonna give up the ghost, it's all part of a bigger plan I don't see. And even in the midst of chaos, I'm still very grateful and thankful for God's providence and blessing in my life.
I got into my car yesterday and as I was backing out the driveway, I pushed down on the brake pedal and the car didn't want to stop. I pulled a wheel off of it last night and couldn't find what was wrong. What I did find is the transmission is leaking fluid. The car is running really rough too. It doesn't want to start half the time anymore. It's about on its' last legs and I'm gonna have to get Chevron back from the kid one more time.
I need a reliable vehicle to get to and from work.
I counted on something happening on Sunday that didn't. Two things really bother me about that. One is that someone else was counting on me Sunday and because I was let down, I let someone else down. The other thing that bothered me is the "no big deal, I didn't forget ya, but you weren't exactly a priority" attitude of the person who let me down. Had that person talked to me, I could have made other arrangements and not let down the person I did.
I try to do the things I should. Sometimes it's a struggle. Other times, it's easy, but often times in the last three years, trying to do good for others has come at a cost and lately, I've been counting that cost. It started out with a plan to re-evaluate priorities that was closely followed up by the finger of accusation pointed squarely at me. That caused me to re-think my priorities and wonder about why things seem to go horribly wrong for me when I try to do the right thing.
It's just part of life, I suppose. I know that not everything I ever do will be met with success but it would be nice to see some forward movement instead of what I'm seeing now. The thing is though, that I may not see forward movement, but I do see God.
Galatians 6:9 was a gift from God last night. It's the "hang in there" verse and I needed so badly to see it when I did. It would be easy to get into the pity party or just quit when you're so overwhelmed like I am. It was just nice to be lifted up by a verse of scripture to remind me that I'm not alone, nor am I the first or last that will feel a bit beat down by life's trials.
It's been good for me to re-evaluate things. I fixed the dishwasher the other day. I finally got my lawn mowed yesterday. I had to do it twice but it's done. I looked the car over and right now I can't see what's wrong with it. I filled up the brake fluid reservoir and hopefully driving it a bit will help. I'm just going to have to be really careful, but I think my time with the Saturn is coming to a close. I should have gotten rid of it years ago. It was a means to an end that is now coming to its' own end, I suppose.
The hut is clean today. I had plenty of time to sweep floors. I flipped the mattress on my old bed and fixed the legs underneath where the dog had bumped it. The bed frame is about shot. I bought the furniture at a discount store and got what I paid for. It's broken and needs to go, like a lot of things around here. I fixed it so it wouldn't fall apart, but sooner than later there won't be any more fixing it. My roommate was concerned it would fall apart and fall on the beagle, who still to this day sleeps under the bed.
Things around here will get better. I only have about ten more payments on the youngest and then he'll be all mine. Then it'll be how to pay for college. My other problems were not as big as I made them out to be. I have time if I make time. Making time means trusting that God's gonna provide what I need, and that includes time to get things done. I can't ever lose sight of Him even in the messes of life and it's His guiding hand that's helped me make it through the last two days without freaking out.
Sometimes I get so busy wanting to sprint to a finish line that I forget that all I can see is the top of the hill and not that finish line. I sense that it's close but that may not be the case. Maybe all I need to do is just focus on getting done the things that are there today and quit trying to plan out every minute of my life. I dunno.
I just know that God is still on the throne and if the car is gonna give up the ghost, it's all part of a bigger plan I don't see. And even in the midst of chaos, I'm still very grateful and thankful for God's providence and blessing in my life.
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