The ball is now in my court.

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Warning:  Today is one of them swiss cheese blogs.   Sorry, but some of this just between me and God.  My mom reads this thing, after all.

I asked God mostly out of frustration but partly out of a bit of desperation if there were things that needed attention in my life to show them to me.  I kind of felt adrift or running around in the wilderness.  God will sometimes answer prayer quickly as He did in this case.

It was something He'd shown me before and I kind of tried to talk my way out of it.  I don't want to do this thing God asked me to do for lots of reasons.  I tried telling God I would but would prefer not to and convinced myself that being willing was enough.  I tried the explanation of why I didn't want to do it and hoped that would be good enough.  I tried shopping for opinions and got universally the one I wanted to hear.  That was the human standpoint.

This all started months ago. And I guess it's one of them things that is I want you to do this and it's your choice if you don't, but maybe things ain't gonna progress until you do.  It's obvious to me today that this is the case and I have just decided that the answer to my dilemma is not "yes, but...".  It's "Yes, Lord."

My pastor and I are studying a book and one of the things we were reminded of today is that Jesus is a contemporary.  If He were still dead, then Christianity is a lie.  That He was resurrected and lives today is the crux of everything we believe.  And as such, and as Lord, it's not unreasonable for things for me to come to a standstill when I'm not doing what He thinks I ought.

I just wish I didn't keep having to learn these things the hard way.

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