Stories and other stuff

What a great day to praise God! Reconciliation is on the menu of life today and God restored to me the most precious of things on the planet to me.  One of my sons.  Me and the little one have been able to maintain a bit of a relationship but me and middle boy, well I really hurt him when I divorced his mom.  But time and space heal wounds and thankfully today, though not healed, they're scars not scabs. We've been texting a bit since his wedding but today we did something we haven't done in over ten years.  The men went fishing. We had a blast! We caught fish we couldn't keep because anything between 15-22" in length at Strawberry has to be released.  We went through three dozen worms.  We lost between two of us three fish.  One because a knot broke and two because of improper drag set.  I need heavier line if we're gonna be catching fish like that.  We were fishing with six pound test; light line for big fish. Fun, though, and did...

I read a book a while back called In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day.   Great book.  The story from the Bible it uses as an example is one where the captain of King David's bodyguards is described as a brave man who once went into a pit on a snowy day to vanquish a lion.  It has modern day application too about fighting things that appear you can't win. I fought a lion for a long time.  The best I can say is that my lion fought me to a draw.  Every now and again, something or someone will try to entice me to fight that battle again.  The thing is, I'm confident I could win the battle.  I'm itching to fight lions again.  I'm committed to victory!  I need some kind of a victory in my life right now!  I mean that.  The confidence in knowing I can win that victory comes from knowing that God isn't on my side.  That may sound counter to a lot of what I say on the blog, but it makes perfect sense.  I'm not asking God to be on...

I'm taking a break from the stuff that's weighing heavy on my heart these days.  I'm reminded that the heart is wicked sometimes and maybe, just maybe, I need to step back and focus on other things. The pool is open and I'm hoping by the end of the week that it'll be warmer.  It's still a bit cool but as the temps climb, that won't matter.  The water is crystal clear.  It would have been easier I think just to drain it and clean it out with the pressure washer, but in the end, it was better to clean it the hard way.  I want to get a little outdoor bench that I can keep hoses and the like in. I found some white paint in the garage.  I had to stir it quite a bit but it's the white paint I used to pain the outside of the house.  The patio needs some love.  I have some paint to love it with. I fixed my own sprinklers today.  I have a strip on the side of my house that runs downhill and faces west.  It slopes downhill on two sides and i...

Ever wonder why I still write this thing or write about some of the things I do, like yesterday's post for instance?  There's a simple answer embedded around a complicated one.  Part of it is that it's cathartic.  Sometimes it's helpful to put thoughts down on paper, or html, or whatever this thing is.  It helps me try and make sense of nonsense.  The other part of it is that by writing it, I hope to share the fact that I have human struggles. Sometimes I think folks have strong perceptions about Christians.  By all means, we're judged by the world to a different standard.  For some it's like they're viewing your life through a set of rules, almost as if to say, I don't expect this of me because I don't claim to be what you claim to be.  I try to remember that but it doesn't excuse me from being tempted, struggling with my past, wondering and wanting things.  What the blog does is give me a way to share how I deal with those and it helps ke...

I didn't have what you'd call a positive day today.  Everything I touched turned to crap the first part of the day.  It got better at the end and hopefully some comfort food will ice the cake of trying to turn a negative into something positive. My home is a wonderful place.  I'm so very blessed that God let me stay here and I give Him praise and thanks for it.  I'm not complaining.  I've always wanted to live where I do, but sometimes the place gets to be a bit much for one person to handle.  Power tools help.  So do chemicals, when applied correctly. Sometimes, though, there is no substitute for an extra pair of hands. I've been feeling like that lately.  There is something missing in my life and it's that helpmeet.  The hardest part of my Christian walk is finally figuring out the things I've done wrong in relationships my whole life and then not being able to have one.  God says it's not good for man to be alone.  I think He...

I like to think I'm a bit broad minded and able sometimes to see things from more than one perspective. It's a gift that's helped me too many times to count when I've figured out how to do things, or take things apart and fix them. Sometimes, though, I don't see the forest for the trees and need a little bit of nudging.  Today is a little bit like that. I have lots of work to do around here this weekend.  Most of my Memorial Day weekend will be spent in the yard and working on the truck.  I have brakes to change before I get it inspected next week.  I have all of the tools to do them and the manual for my truck, so I'm all good to go.  I've done them before which doesn't hurt either.    I have a pool to clean out.  I have to finish working the soil so I can get the garden planted.  I'd like to install a new pole for the hammock, which I'd like to enjoy some this summer.  Then there are the flower beds. I would like to mow the lawn ...

I am learning to do so much with what I have. As usual, I have stories. I've had the cooter bug tractor now for six or seven years.  I forget which.  When I bought it, I paid $500 for it, put another $60 into it and it runs.  I've replaced the battery twice and rebuilt the starter on it.  I swapped the old points and condenser for an electronic ignition and sanded the flywheel when I bought it.  I have a spare everything important for it except an engine.  Briggs and Stratton still make parts for that though.  I rebuilt the carb on it this spring. I cannot afford a new garden tractor.  I would love to have one.  But I'm also happy with what I have.  It needs a new seat, so I just use a beach towel seat cover for it.  It's pink and white and you just can't look cool on that when your pretty neighbor sees you driving it around your yard.  I don't care.  Function over style. I have some sprinklers I bought a couple of...

I was helping a friend yesterday with some sprinklers.  He wasn't home at the time, so I just put the sprinkler together and that was that.  I thought to myself that I really ought to turn on the sprinklers by moving the solenoid and checking the repair but I kind of forgot.  I had a ton of stuff to do yesterday and I woke up with a bit of a toothache.  As I said, I forgot.  But as I was driving away, that nagging feeling told me that I needed to go back and do that.  I listened and went back.  When I lifted the cover off the valve box, I realized why I needed to do that.  One of the valves is leaking and will have to be replaced. I'm having one of those weeks again.  First the gout attack, then the toothache that turned into oh, so much more fun.  The toothache is gone.  Stupid me ran a piece of floss around the tooth to see if there was just something stuck around it.  In doing so, I opened the abscess around it which drain...

Yippee!!!! We finally had a decent day and warm temperatures.  As I type this, the swimming pool is filling up.  I've round-upped the middle 1/3 of the garden.  I helped de-weed the lower 1/3 with the aid of a hoe and an electric rototiller. My neighbor returned the tiller this afternoon.  I don't think she quite knows what to make of me.  She got a funny look on her face (like the "is this guy for reals?" look) when I asked her what extra we could plant in the garden that we could share with her and her family. When you have this much room, planting an extra ten feet of this or that isn't a real expense or chore.  We buy seed by the half-pound.  We have to.  After the initial shock and me explaining to her that we plant more than enough to share, she gave me a little list of things.  OK, we plant those things anyway, so we'll plant some extra. I'm kind of excited for the garden this year.  I think we're going to try some differe...

A classmate of mine from my Caring For God's People class is struggling with cancer.  I don't see her; as I said she's a classmate of mine.  She's also a sister in Christ and a tremendous lady who has a heart for the Lord.  Why God allowed this disease in her life I cannot say, but I can say that sometimes God wants to use others to help us along. I just finished reading an update she posted to an online journal she's keeping.  She had to have some fluid removed yesterday, but a scheduled blood transfusion for today was not needed because overnight her blood levels were back to the point where a transfusion was necessary.  Lots of people are praying for Mary and God answered those prayers with a bit of healing. God gives each of us talents.  I read stories sometimes about faith taken too far.  By that I mean it's like the old story of the guy on the housetop during the flood who refused a ride in a rowboat, a powerboat, and a helicopter.  When...

One of the joys old guys will share with you is what you have to look forward to when you're old.  Be prepared... As you get older, one of the things you are subject to at a doctor's visit is the "Digital Rectal Exam"; it's  uncomfortable for the patient and for the doctor and I guess you have to have a sense of humor about these things.  I have a sense of humor and I'm gonna get into that in just a bit.  Apparently the doctor I saw today deals with it by making small talk.  He asked me "how tall are you?" I missed out on the most priceless answer in the history of come-backs which should have been "An inch taller than I was when I walked in here!" Sometimes you have to have a chuckle at difficult circumstances. The squoze called today to let me know her friend is better.  Each of us has friends in the hospital but for much different reasons.  My friend is doing better and her friend is going to be OK.  She needs lots of therapy, b...

Updates to this post are in blue text so you don't have to re-read the whole thing! At any given moment my life is a mass of controlled Chaos.  Today's story is about organizing that chaos into manageable chunks. My foot hurts and the struggle began today with "Just stay home.  Your foot hurts."  Well, I'm not staying home, I'm going to church.  I know on struggle days, the last place I want to go is the first place I need to be.  I bypassed sore foot.  It hurts but not bad enough that I can't go and worship God. I wore my ugly shirt today. For no other reason than I felt like it. It seemed like an ugly shirt day but I like my ugly shirt.  To me it's not ugly.  On the way to church I heard a song on the radio that's not played often but applies to me.  It's called I'm Not Who I Was .  It has a little bit of a backstory for me that I'm not going to share.  I could have made it the rest of the day without hearing that song and s...

I had a chat with a friend of mine tonight.  Well, we texted each other back and forth, kind of comparing where each of us was today.  Both of us don't understand why everything goes wrong in our lives.  I don't know that wrong is the correct word, but it seems that no matter what either of us does to change our circumstances, they remain the same. In her point of view, though, I'm better off than her.  I would feel just exactly the opposite and sometimes you can share a lesson in what's important even when you don't mean to. My friend rents a room in a house with some other people.  It's all she can afford.  She only works three days a week right now and cannot find a job.  She would benefit greatly from health insurance if her employer provided it. On the other hand, I have a lovely home and a job that pays well and has benefits.  I'm blessed beyond measure that way and I know it.  I don't flaunt it; I spend what I make and struggle f...

The old adage "all dressed up with no place to go" seems to be an apt description of the mood I'm in today.  I so want to hit the road.  I so need to hit the road.  I could pack a bag, make a phone call, and viola' gonesville! It's that simple and that complicated, too.  Where would I do?  What would I do when I got there?  How would I pay for it?  And honestly, what's the point? I heard last night an interesting theory on my little radio program I love so much Running to Win .  Dr. Lutzer said something about how God paints us into little corners with seemingly no way out so we have to turn to Him.  OK, I'm desirous.  I used the word ready but thought better of it.  Ready is not a judgment I'm entitled to make. Ready rests with the Potter.  I am, and sometimes need to remember this, merely the clay; the created thing. I miss the ocean but not California.  I like Oregon, but only the coast.  I don't have a dat...

The skin on my left foot is tight.  I can feel the throb of my heartbeat in my foot.  The pain has gone from unbearable to manageable over the last six hours but when I woke up at eight o'clock this morning, taking my machete out of the sheath and whacking my big toe off was a serious option. God has chosen today to bless me with a gout attack.  It's a reminder that the machinery does not work as well as it used to and I need to lose weight.  It helps.  I also have to make my doctor's appointment tomorrow in Salt Lake City to have an ultrasound done on my kidneys.  I meet the urologist at the VA next week.  Along with the gout, I shouldn't get infections like I do sometimes.  I finally met a doctor that wants to find out what's causing the problems instead of treating the symptoms.  Ironically, it's one of them pesky big bad 'gummit' doctors.  The government isn't always the enemy. I get to say that.  It's public servants month....

Busy weekend.  Worked Saturday night.  Worked in the yard Saturday morning and today, too.  The back 40 is really starting to look like something.  I'm hoping I dumped enough chemicals on my lawn that the weeds and clover will start looking less like something and more like a memory.  I've never had dandelions like I've had this year.  Fortunately for me, I was prepared. My strawberries are doing well.  My blackberry finally had babies.  Funny how things grow when there is room for them to grow.  My raspberries are flourishing after being weeded for two consecutive years now. Even the lilacs are doing well.  I start on the flower beds again tomorrow. I spent a fair part of my weekend on my back, editing and compiling some stuff for a video presentation.  That's always fun, but time consuming.  I should take one of the spare bedrooms and turn it into an office. At church, one of the things the Pastor said was that you ca...

Dear universe: It has not escaped notice that yesterday I was introduced to a woman named "Tammy".  Nor was it unnoticed that when my brother in Christ let folks know his procedure went well yesterday, another woman named Tammy hit reply all. I was half asleep but somehow heard Miss June utter that name this morning in conjunction with some story or other.  The story, not so much, but yeah, I heard the name. I also noticed the story in the crumpled up Utah section of the Salt Lake Tribune about the cowboy must-see-'em (that's museum for you regular folks) has acquired The Lone Ranger's pistol.  It was nice of whoever to leave just that section of the newspaper in the break room I never use.  Preciatecha!  I used to have Lone Ranger pearl handled and cheap toy chrome cap guns with a double holster.  I could rock the six guns and cowboy hat when I was a kid.  That's another story.  Someone I know has ties to said museum.  Take a wild gue...

A long time ago, when all hell was breaking loose on the blog I told some woman who had some pointed words for me that if I could stop one person from the stupid things I did, then some good came out of all of this. Today I got that chance.  Twice.  Within an hour. It was my idea for a ministry that I could maybe speak to guys in the military about the pitfalls and dangers of the life I used to live.  I made a lot of bad choices that led me to lose everything that was important to me.  I got to share that with a couple of guys tonight in very different conversations.  I was used by God in what I'd wanted to do. It just didn't come about the way I thought it would. My life is changed from even a couple of days ago.  I'm strong.  I'm at peace.  I'm blessed that God would use someone who was very angry with him a couple of days ago.  He put me where I would be able to have the right word, the right example at the right time. I have abs...

Well, (pun intended) I have a story about a well.  It's actually two stories about two different wells, but it's the same story.  I heard it once on the radio and in the story, there was a well at an abandoned farmhouse.  The second time I heard the story the well was in an oasis in the middle of the desert.  The vessel containing the water in the first story was a bucket.  In the second it was a canteen. Other than that the story was the same.  Thirsty and lost traveler comes to said well, where there is a vessel of water, a pump, and a sign that says in essence:  "Under your feet is all the water you could ever hope to need.  To get the water, you must prime the pump with the water". The dilemma becomes do you trust the sign and prime the pump or do you drink the little bit of water? There is a third option but we'll get to that in a minute. This story starts out on Tuesday evening with a walk around Pond 3 on the base during my exercise...