Girl repellant, broken stuff, and wondering
I didn't have what you'd call a positive day today. Everything I touched turned to crap the first part of the day. It got better at the end and hopefully some comfort food will ice the cake of trying to turn a negative into something positive.
My home is a wonderful place. I'm so very blessed that God let me stay here and I give Him praise and thanks for it. I'm not complaining. I've always wanted to live where I do, but sometimes the place gets to be a bit much for one person to handle. Power tools help. So do chemicals, when applied correctly. Sometimes, though, there is no substitute for an extra pair of hands.
I've been feeling like that lately. There is something missing in my life and it's that helpmeet. The hardest part of my Christian walk is finally figuring out the things I've done wrong in relationships my whole life and then not being able to have one. God says it's not good for man to be alone. I think He means in general... in my case I think trying to find one for myself right now is running ahead of God. Or not. Heck I don't know anymore. Too much crazy stuff and I just can't handle any more of it.
The Evil One keeps trying to trick me into thinking that NO! somehow means yes and I'll be damned if I ever take something that isn't mine again. Lessons learned the hard way. But you struggle with things sometimes. It's only temptation and I have enough of God's word memorized to help win the battle. I don't come out un-wounded but I am winning. I wonder though, where this came from. Part of life, I guess.
Anyway, even if I wanted one, God made sure that shopping wasn't an option. When I got sick last week from the abscess tooth, one of the things that came with it was a dose of girl repellant. I have the remnants of two nasty fever blisters on my bottom lip. I know they're not cold sores, but you couldn't tell the difference by looking at me. They're getting better but they'll hang around for the long weekend. Just another thing to help me not run down the halls. I have to walk.
Or so it seems to me, anyway.
I work on airplanes and as an airplane mechanic, you learn that petroleum jelly is your friend. Why it's so darn expensive I have no idea, but I bought a jar tonight to aid in putting two pipe joiners together. I had to fix a broken sprinkler line at the church. A section of it was missing. Where it went, I don't have a clue. I also aimed the sprinklers and adjusted them so they don't water the bus stop anymore. Sadly, this woman who got off the bus when I was working on them got a bit of a summer shower. I kept her from the worst of it by holding a sprinkler in place until she left. It's done though. I went to Home Depot where I was told I needed the wrong stuff. I took a piece of new pipe to Lowe's and bought the right stuff. I'm much better off sometimes when I don't ask for help.
Sometimes though, I ask for help because I need it. I mentioned that the place can be a bit much sometimes. I called and asked my son to help. His mother played call screener, wouldn't let me talk to him, and told me he needed to take care of her yard this weekend. OK, one down.
The squoze and I talk sometimes. Not often, but sometimes. She called and told me her mom fell and broke her kneecap (prayers appreciated) and we talked about this and that for about a half-hour. I mentioned that I really could use some help today. She told me she'd call me today and let me know if she was gonna come up and help out. My phone shows nothing. Which is what I expected.
I am the first guy that will help. I am usually the last guy that will ask for help. That's a lot of why I don't ask. It's just easier that way and I'm not disappointed when people tell me no. Hey, I wouldn't be all jazzed up about helping someone pull weeds, either.
I had to fight my way through this day. I broke the belt on the riding mower deck. I will have to mail order a new one. At least I got the back grass 99% cut before it died on me. I'm thankful for that and grateful that the thing still works after all these years. I also broke the impeller on the pool filter pump while trying to clean it out. That was a spendy mistake. Wal-mart had one though and I'm back in the game. Sometimes the more I try to fix stuff and keep it going, the more stuff seems to break.
Stuff broke, but I didn't. I am broke after all the unplanned spending, and I might be lonely, down, and tired. I have to mow the back forty in the morning and re-till the upper garden but the lower one is raked and ready to plant. The back one will get planted tomorrow and Monday. I put two pieces of sod down where the dog dug up the dirt by the patio. I worked my little butt off and got done what I could. I refused to quit.
I refuse to quit.
Unless it's quitting trying to understand my little life right now. If I just gave up on trying to figure out why, I'd probably be a lot better off!
My home is a wonderful place. I'm so very blessed that God let me stay here and I give Him praise and thanks for it. I'm not complaining. I've always wanted to live where I do, but sometimes the place gets to be a bit much for one person to handle. Power tools help. So do chemicals, when applied correctly. Sometimes, though, there is no substitute for an extra pair of hands.
I've been feeling like that lately. There is something missing in my life and it's that helpmeet. The hardest part of my Christian walk is finally figuring out the things I've done wrong in relationships my whole life and then not being able to have one. God says it's not good for man to be alone. I think He means in general... in my case I think trying to find one for myself right now is running ahead of God. Or not. Heck I don't know anymore. Too much crazy stuff and I just can't handle any more of it.
The Evil One keeps trying to trick me into thinking that NO! somehow means yes and I'll be damned if I ever take something that isn't mine again. Lessons learned the hard way. But you struggle with things sometimes. It's only temptation and I have enough of God's word memorized to help win the battle. I don't come out un-wounded but I am winning. I wonder though, where this came from. Part of life, I guess.
Anyway, even if I wanted one, God made sure that shopping wasn't an option. When I got sick last week from the abscess tooth, one of the things that came with it was a dose of girl repellant. I have the remnants of two nasty fever blisters on my bottom lip. I know they're not cold sores, but you couldn't tell the difference by looking at me. They're getting better but they'll hang around for the long weekend. Just another thing to help me not run down the halls. I have to walk.
Or so it seems to me, anyway.
I work on airplanes and as an airplane mechanic, you learn that petroleum jelly is your friend. Why it's so darn expensive I have no idea, but I bought a jar tonight to aid in putting two pipe joiners together. I had to fix a broken sprinkler line at the church. A section of it was missing. Where it went, I don't have a clue. I also aimed the sprinklers and adjusted them so they don't water the bus stop anymore. Sadly, this woman who got off the bus when I was working on them got a bit of a summer shower. I kept her from the worst of it by holding a sprinkler in place until she left. It's done though. I went to Home Depot where I was told I needed the wrong stuff. I took a piece of new pipe to Lowe's and bought the right stuff. I'm much better off sometimes when I don't ask for help.
Sometimes though, I ask for help because I need it. I mentioned that the place can be a bit much sometimes. I called and asked my son to help. His mother played call screener, wouldn't let me talk to him, and told me he needed to take care of her yard this weekend. OK, one down.
The squoze and I talk sometimes. Not often, but sometimes. She called and told me her mom fell and broke her kneecap (prayers appreciated) and we talked about this and that for about a half-hour. I mentioned that I really could use some help today. She told me she'd call me today and let me know if she was gonna come up and help out. My phone shows nothing. Which is what I expected.
I am the first guy that will help. I am usually the last guy that will ask for help. That's a lot of why I don't ask. It's just easier that way and I'm not disappointed when people tell me no. Hey, I wouldn't be all jazzed up about helping someone pull weeds, either.
I had to fight my way through this day. I broke the belt on the riding mower deck. I will have to mail order a new one. At least I got the back grass 99% cut before it died on me. I'm thankful for that and grateful that the thing still works after all these years. I also broke the impeller on the pool filter pump while trying to clean it out. That was a spendy mistake. Wal-mart had one though and I'm back in the game. Sometimes the more I try to fix stuff and keep it going, the more stuff seems to break.
Stuff broke, but I didn't. I am broke after all the unplanned spending, and I might be lonely, down, and tired. I have to mow the back forty in the morning and re-till the upper garden but the lower one is raked and ready to plant. The back one will get planted tomorrow and Monday. I put two pieces of sod down where the dog dug up the dirt by the patio. I worked my little butt off and got done what I could. I refused to quit.
I refuse to quit.
Unless it's quitting trying to understand my little life right now. If I just gave up on trying to figure out why, I'd probably be a lot better off!
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