It never fails
To say that I'm tired would be a bit of a misleading statement. I passed tired a very long time ago. I'm well on my way to worn out and there was nothing I wanted to do more this morning than to just sleep. I didn't get me out of bed this morning I had some encouragement from my house guest and drive from the Holy Spirit. Not going to church was an entertained thought but it just wasn't gonna happen.
I mentioned to my houseguest that on days when I don't feel like going, there is usually something important to me for the circumstances I find myself in. I don't mean to sound like church is unimportant or that I don't get something out of every Sunday service. That's just not the case, but it seems like at times there are important take-aways from the message I need to get through the next week and they seem to come when I'm faced with reasons not to go, like being very tired.
Today's sermon was about letting go. Perhaps I need to. I hold things very loosely these days, mostly because of understanding that people are of value, not things. For so long I had this concept completely backwards and perhaps I tend to hang on longer than I should. I know that became evident to me when I tried to keep things going with Cindy longer than I should have. I don't think that applied to the ex though because I think God used that circumstance to change me. When that circumstance was done, the divorce went through rather quickly.
I had a conversation with my houseguest today about that, after telling about a dream I had last night. In the dream I shouted in a driveway at the top of my lungs a dirty word followed by a person's name. The ex was in the dream, too, and she got in a car I didn't recognize and when she did, I kissed her.
I need to stop this story and tell you another one to explain that last sentence. A long time ago, I dated a girl named Divina. We hung out and stuff and one night when I dropped her off, she grabbed me and kissed me. When she did, it was the weirdest feeling that it was just plain wrong. We never dated or spoke after that. I think we both just sensed that something wasn't right and we just walked away.
In the dream, when I kissed the ex, there was nothing there. It was just kind of empty, and it reminded me of that kiss I shared with Divina 32 years ago. Then the sermon came.
I let go of the ex a very long time ago. I explained to my houseguest that I do have a Biblical obligation to the ex but I don't see being asked to fulfill it anytime in the future. I don't see that being a possibility and it wasn't until I came to the realization that if God chose to take the ex away from me there was really nothing I could ever do to change the circumstances. All I do these days is follow God's leading and it seems that where I'm at is exactly where I need to be. I surely see a lot of people bending over backward to make that path less of a dream and more of a reality. Sadly, nobody seems to be talking to the two parties involved and the stories each would tell are a might different than the assumptions being made by others. This will be a blog post for tomorrow.
In life you do the best you can do. I'm doing the best I can do right now given what I've been handed to deal with. God gave me some things to work on and my friend who is staying with us has added some things she's noticed that could use a bit of work, too. We're that kind of friends, where something could be said and I'd do something about changing it. I'm good at accepting I'm not perfect and that the rebuke of a friend is a priceless gift.
But only if heeded.
So today, I'm in prayer about what I'm holding on to that needs to be let go of. I'm confident that God will reveal that to me in His time and HIs way. All I know today is that I'm holding onto some things that need to be let go of and God's preparing me to do just that.
I mentioned to my houseguest that on days when I don't feel like going, there is usually something important to me for the circumstances I find myself in. I don't mean to sound like church is unimportant or that I don't get something out of every Sunday service. That's just not the case, but it seems like at times there are important take-aways from the message I need to get through the next week and they seem to come when I'm faced with reasons not to go, like being very tired.
Today's sermon was about letting go. Perhaps I need to. I hold things very loosely these days, mostly because of understanding that people are of value, not things. For so long I had this concept completely backwards and perhaps I tend to hang on longer than I should. I know that became evident to me when I tried to keep things going with Cindy longer than I should have. I don't think that applied to the ex though because I think God used that circumstance to change me. When that circumstance was done, the divorce went through rather quickly.
I had a conversation with my houseguest today about that, after telling about a dream I had last night. In the dream I shouted in a driveway at the top of my lungs a dirty word followed by a person's name. The ex was in the dream, too, and she got in a car I didn't recognize and when she did, I kissed her.
I need to stop this story and tell you another one to explain that last sentence. A long time ago, I dated a girl named Divina. We hung out and stuff and one night when I dropped her off, she grabbed me and kissed me. When she did, it was the weirdest feeling that it was just plain wrong. We never dated or spoke after that. I think we both just sensed that something wasn't right and we just walked away.
In the dream, when I kissed the ex, there was nothing there. It was just kind of empty, and it reminded me of that kiss I shared with Divina 32 years ago. Then the sermon came.
I let go of the ex a very long time ago. I explained to my houseguest that I do have a Biblical obligation to the ex but I don't see being asked to fulfill it anytime in the future. I don't see that being a possibility and it wasn't until I came to the realization that if God chose to take the ex away from me there was really nothing I could ever do to change the circumstances. All I do these days is follow God's leading and it seems that where I'm at is exactly where I need to be. I surely see a lot of people bending over backward to make that path less of a dream and more of a reality. Sadly, nobody seems to be talking to the two parties involved and the stories each would tell are a might different than the assumptions being made by others. This will be a blog post for tomorrow.
In life you do the best you can do. I'm doing the best I can do right now given what I've been handed to deal with. God gave me some things to work on and my friend who is staying with us has added some things she's noticed that could use a bit of work, too. We're that kind of friends, where something could be said and I'd do something about changing it. I'm good at accepting I'm not perfect and that the rebuke of a friend is a priceless gift.
But only if heeded.
So today, I'm in prayer about what I'm holding on to that needs to be let go of. I'm confident that God will reveal that to me in His time and HIs way. All I know today is that I'm holding onto some things that need to be let go of and God's preparing me to do just that.
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