the wait is killing me
First off, like much of my life, it didn't have to be this way. I MADE it this way, but God sometimes has plans that we can derail, but not totally destroy. I have to have faith that it's the former for me and not the latter. From everything that's happened and Oh, the cool stories I can tell about a merciful God that is helping me (but won't right now!).
Sometimes all you have left in life is a prayer. And mine today was answered in steps. One of those steps is gonna involve some waiting.
On the way home from my morning meeting, (get to part of that in a second...) I listened to a program about believers and how we come under attack from the Evil One. It does happen. Satan is a powerful enemy, but Christians have tools to defeat him. Mostly mine are trying to make sense of stuff that's happening around me. The worst thing I have is doubt that this thing will come to pass and sometimes I have to stop and pray about the next step.
I've found out that what God gives you to do matters and sometimes you might not see it that way. What I should'a did from the start is what I'm trying to do now. Had I done it at the time, doing it this way would be unnecessary. I didn't get here alone though. I had help. A dream really messed me up. And so did a horrible misunderstanding. But God is mending the fences. Sometimes mending those fences takes time.
And I hate waiting.
The really neat thing about all of this is that Jesus promises us that if we'll follow, He'll lead. Each day we have to take up our cross, deny ourselves, and follow Him. I read that somewhere. And honestly, that's how I had to start my day today. It wasn't a chore to get up early and go where I had to. The chore as not to give up on the thing that's weighing my cross down these days.
So, after the first program, I tried to get back to sleep and couldn't. I flipped on the radio and heard a wonderful presentation on prayer. Sometimes God says No. Sometimes He says NO! Sometimes that answer is yes. And sometimes that answer is wait. At the end of the program, I got serious about asking the Heavenly Father not for something specific, but just if the answer was No or wait. Wait won.
Later on this morning, I got an answer to one thing I'd prayed for and I'm very happy about. There will be more. It was only one step of a process.
The other thing I am learning is that God decides how He will be glorified. Not me. I had this idea that this little story that He wrote would be the catalyst for this big epiphany I so want someone to have and that said human would see the object of the story I won't tell, (yet!), put all the puzzle pieces together, and viola'......
Glory be to God!
I have a great imagination. I also want this thing to come to pass in my life because it's something I asked God to do for me and I think this is what He wants for me. When it happens, He gets the Glory! While it would have been a great story, in my mind at least, God may or may not have other plans. I don't know, and He's not saying. But it's not up to me to decide how best to glorify God! Part of that program on prayer dealt with this subject. What I did get in response to the question posed in prayer was an answer. Not the one I wanted, but grateful for the answer all the same!
The answer: "wait".
So, I mentioned that what God gives us matters. Here's what I mean by that.
An opportunity opened up for me to participate in a Bible study for a group of guys on Wednesday mornings. Well, that group of guys got a heck of a lot bigger (and co-ed!) this morning. Last week I had too many handouts. This week, not enough. And we engaged people with discussion about Scripture. We talked about how it applies to us today. I'm so very blessed and as uncomfortable as I thought I'd be at the first, I feel like just one of the group.
That group is getting big. And that's what I mean about how God will decide to be glorified. We were faithful with a little thing (just being available and willing to share some of God's Holy Word and some time) and now it's a bigger thing. That's important to God and it's important to me! It's what I mean about how the things God gives us matter. Sometimes those things involve having to go to places where we're uncomfortable. Sometimes we miss out because we won't be uncomfortable. Or unforgiving.
I'm reminded of that today.
So I have to wait, but it doesn't mean that waiting means doing nothing. To revisit the cookie analogy, the timer has been set and the cookie is in the oven. God knows when the timer is gonna go off, but in the mean time, the house needs cleaned, the dog needs walked, and airplanes need to be repaired. These are the tasks I've been given to do while I wait. There are also Kingdom things to do. People need encouraged. A co-worker might need a little empathy and maybe a Scripture verse to get through a tough night. There are stores to tell, a life to be lived, and things to do while the cookie is baking.
And when that day finally does arrive, God will decide how it comes about. On that day, He gets all the Glory, the Enemy gets defeated, and I get blessed. And you finally get to read all about it!
Sometimes all you have left in life is a prayer. And mine today was answered in steps. One of those steps is gonna involve some waiting.
On the way home from my morning meeting, (get to part of that in a second...) I listened to a program about believers and how we come under attack from the Evil One. It does happen. Satan is a powerful enemy, but Christians have tools to defeat him. Mostly mine are trying to make sense of stuff that's happening around me. The worst thing I have is doubt that this thing will come to pass and sometimes I have to stop and pray about the next step.
I've found out that what God gives you to do matters and sometimes you might not see it that way. What I should'a did from the start is what I'm trying to do now. Had I done it at the time, doing it this way would be unnecessary. I didn't get here alone though. I had help. A dream really messed me up. And so did a horrible misunderstanding. But God is mending the fences. Sometimes mending those fences takes time.
And I hate waiting.
The really neat thing about all of this is that Jesus promises us that if we'll follow, He'll lead. Each day we have to take up our cross, deny ourselves, and follow Him. I read that somewhere. And honestly, that's how I had to start my day today. It wasn't a chore to get up early and go where I had to. The chore as not to give up on the thing that's weighing my cross down these days.
So, after the first program, I tried to get back to sleep and couldn't. I flipped on the radio and heard a wonderful presentation on prayer. Sometimes God says No. Sometimes He says NO! Sometimes that answer is yes. And sometimes that answer is wait. At the end of the program, I got serious about asking the Heavenly Father not for something specific, but just if the answer was No or wait. Wait won.
Later on this morning, I got an answer to one thing I'd prayed for and I'm very happy about. There will be more. It was only one step of a process.
The other thing I am learning is that God decides how He will be glorified. Not me. I had this idea that this little story that He wrote would be the catalyst for this big epiphany I so want someone to have and that said human would see the object of the story I won't tell, (yet!), put all the puzzle pieces together, and viola'......
Glory be to God!
I have a great imagination. I also want this thing to come to pass in my life because it's something I asked God to do for me and I think this is what He wants for me. When it happens, He gets the Glory! While it would have been a great story, in my mind at least, God may or may not have other plans. I don't know, and He's not saying. But it's not up to me to decide how best to glorify God! Part of that program on prayer dealt with this subject. What I did get in response to the question posed in prayer was an answer. Not the one I wanted, but grateful for the answer all the same!
The answer: "wait".
So, I mentioned that what God gives us matters. Here's what I mean by that.
An opportunity opened up for me to participate in a Bible study for a group of guys on Wednesday mornings. Well, that group of guys got a heck of a lot bigger (and co-ed!) this morning. Last week I had too many handouts. This week, not enough. And we engaged people with discussion about Scripture. We talked about how it applies to us today. I'm so very blessed and as uncomfortable as I thought I'd be at the first, I feel like just one of the group.
That group is getting big. And that's what I mean about how God will decide to be glorified. We were faithful with a little thing (just being available and willing to share some of God's Holy Word and some time) and now it's a bigger thing. That's important to God and it's important to me! It's what I mean about how the things God gives us matter. Sometimes those things involve having to go to places where we're uncomfortable. Sometimes we miss out because we won't be uncomfortable. Or unforgiving.
I'm reminded of that today.
So I have to wait, but it doesn't mean that waiting means doing nothing. To revisit the cookie analogy, the timer has been set and the cookie is in the oven. God knows when the timer is gonna go off, but in the mean time, the house needs cleaned, the dog needs walked, and airplanes need to be repaired. These are the tasks I've been given to do while I wait. There are also Kingdom things to do. People need encouraged. A co-worker might need a little empathy and maybe a Scripture verse to get through a tough night. There are stores to tell, a life to be lived, and things to do while the cookie is baking.
And when that day finally does arrive, God will decide how it comes about. On that day, He gets all the Glory, the Enemy gets defeated, and I get blessed. And you finally get to read all about it!
see Luke 9:23
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