Going deeper in faith
One of the things God decided to bless me with was a book that explains stuff.
I really want to buy a few people I know a copy of this book on the agreement that if I do, they'd read it to gain some understanding of the God who would never put me through what I've been through, but did anyway.
A few folks I know were convinced that maybe what I was going through wasn't from God and told me that. I always knew it was and I really believed that I knew that God was going to give me a victory. I was convinced. And He did, in a way. I was blessed to receive a book that explained some stuff, with a foundation in Biblical truth.
I was reading about Habakkuk, the prophet from the Old Testament, and the author explained a simple truth: God used a more wicked nation than Israel to punish the less wicked Israel for their sins.
I'm still thinking about that this morning, but with new understanding of just how Just our God really is. I'm thinking about that a lot today.
I'm also thinking about how God decides to bring glory to Himself through our lives. What made me think about that was a paint can I found in the garage last night, while looking for some other stuff. Before my bedroom was blue, it was a lovely shade of violet, painted that color way back about six years ago when I was hopeful for reconciliation with Wendi.
My bedroom isn't blue anymore. It's two different shades of brown, paint colors chosen by someone else in the hope that God was doing something that it turns out He wasn't.
Here's the story of my blue bedroom: Sometime after I asked Cindy to leave, I decided the purple bedroom had to go. I found a picture of a bedroom on Houzz.com's website that I loved. I found the color listed and I went and got some. I saw that the windows inside the room had trim around them, so I painstakingly added trim around mine. I saw that the trim was white and painted my trim and closet doors white to match. I spent a long time painting.
The room had darkish grey flooring. I wanted that, but every time I got close to getting the floor done, something else came up. Every time. Fast forward to about four months ago, when Wendi got here. I had to get the carpet out of my bedroom because the dogs had destroyed it. I finally get the floor done and notice the bed had banged up the wall, so I got a small can of paint in the same color to touch up the walls. Bad idea. It didn't match at all. But it was blue, the trim was white, the grey curtains I picked out to go with everything were up, and my perfect bedroom, although not as perfect as the picture, was done. And Wendi and the kids were camped out in it.
When they moved downstairs, I finally had my perfect bedroom for me. The furniture I had matched the same shade as the furniture in the bedroom photo, and I FINALLY was going to get to enjoy what I'd worked so hard for.
I spent ONE night in that room. The next morning I found out that the bed bugs had invaded and everything went to the landfill. The curtains were taken down and put in a plastic bag to kill the bed bugs that MIGHT be in them. They have to stay in the bag for a year. Bedding was thrown away along with the bed, to include the bed spread I bought to kind of match the one in the photo.
I got one night in that room and then, poof, it was all gone.
In my hopeful state, I painted the bedroom brown. I would find out that the person that picked the colors did so knowing she was never going to come back here. I was left with a much different impression a month before. I found out Saturday afternoon, about an hour before the Goodbye text, that little truth.
It's funny, how God chooses to glorify Himself. In my foolishness, He can show His Justice is right and good. And I can see that myself. At my downfall, a lot of people were vindicated; there's the "I told you so!" group. There's the person who wanted and got a front row seat to "Karma kicking my ass.", complete with popcorn.
And then there's me, who is learning about God in some unbelievable ways. I believe God blesses us in His own ways. I got blessed by a book a friend got to review that he didn't remember requesting to review. Answers to a question I didn't ask are being provided.
It's funny to me too that I still see what I saw before but now I have to tune it out. I know that the Who said things and did things that aren't going to help her down the road and I know I'm not going to be there when the phone rings next time. (I decided against changing my number when I realized my phone has a block feature on it.)
I'm enjoying the solitude and parts of me are OK with God's decision. I'd be lying if I didn't want to ask God for another chance, but without the circumstances being what they are today. But I won't. I can't because it's a new season and we're not going that direction anymore. I'm still amazed at the soft landing God provided when I fell on my face. That in itself validates to me that God is GOOD!
Sometimes our failures give God glory. I'm trying to deal with this with grace. I didn't get mean with the Who, but I did make sure I closed the doors to a replay of this. One of the things I'm asking God for is someone of my own. I have a lot of love to give. We'll see.
I'm also understand how God restores things, too. When everything had to go, the time came for everything to be replaced. I've had to wait on things, like the washer and dryer, but the delay was a blessing of time to get done in the laundry room. My furniture is picked out and will be here next Tuesday. My new kitchen appliances will be here on the 27th.
I was thinking about how God restores things. Sometimes, he reconciles relationships. Sometimes we have to live through the pain of Him not doing so to grow. Sometimes, in order for Him to restore, He has to make all things new. A lot of things are being made new at my house. I didn't get anything fancy. I was very thrifty with my purchases, and everything I've picked out has been on a pretty good sale. God blessed me in that way, too.
Even in a defeat, I'm growing closer to my Creator; my Lord Jesus. I'm being drawn and led deeper into understand the God who loves me; my Heavenly Father who chastens me; and can use that for His glory in so many ways that I could never have before understood.
I have goose bumps just thinking about that.
I really want to buy a few people I know a copy of this book on the agreement that if I do, they'd read it to gain some understanding of the God who would never put me through what I've been through, but did anyway.
A few folks I know were convinced that maybe what I was going through wasn't from God and told me that. I always knew it was and I really believed that I knew that God was going to give me a victory. I was convinced. And He did, in a way. I was blessed to receive a book that explained some stuff, with a foundation in Biblical truth.
I was reading about Habakkuk, the prophet from the Old Testament, and the author explained a simple truth: God used a more wicked nation than Israel to punish the less wicked Israel for their sins.
I'm still thinking about that this morning, but with new understanding of just how Just our God really is. I'm thinking about that a lot today.
I'm also thinking about how God decides to bring glory to Himself through our lives. What made me think about that was a paint can I found in the garage last night, while looking for some other stuff. Before my bedroom was blue, it was a lovely shade of violet, painted that color way back about six years ago when I was hopeful for reconciliation with Wendi.
My bedroom isn't blue anymore. It's two different shades of brown, paint colors chosen by someone else in the hope that God was doing something that it turns out He wasn't.
Here's the story of my blue bedroom: Sometime after I asked Cindy to leave, I decided the purple bedroom had to go. I found a picture of a bedroom on Houzz.com's website that I loved. I found the color listed and I went and got some. I saw that the windows inside the room had trim around them, so I painstakingly added trim around mine. I saw that the trim was white and painted my trim and closet doors white to match. I spent a long time painting.
The room had darkish grey flooring. I wanted that, but every time I got close to getting the floor done, something else came up. Every time. Fast forward to about four months ago, when Wendi got here. I had to get the carpet out of my bedroom because the dogs had destroyed it. I finally get the floor done and notice the bed had banged up the wall, so I got a small can of paint in the same color to touch up the walls. Bad idea. It didn't match at all. But it was blue, the trim was white, the grey curtains I picked out to go with everything were up, and my perfect bedroom, although not as perfect as the picture, was done. And Wendi and the kids were camped out in it.
When they moved downstairs, I finally had my perfect bedroom for me. The furniture I had matched the same shade as the furniture in the bedroom photo, and I FINALLY was going to get to enjoy what I'd worked so hard for.
I spent ONE night in that room. The next morning I found out that the bed bugs had invaded and everything went to the landfill. The curtains were taken down and put in a plastic bag to kill the bed bugs that MIGHT be in them. They have to stay in the bag for a year. Bedding was thrown away along with the bed, to include the bed spread I bought to kind of match the one in the photo.
I got one night in that room and then, poof, it was all gone.
In my hopeful state, I painted the bedroom brown. I would find out that the person that picked the colors did so knowing she was never going to come back here. I was left with a much different impression a month before. I found out Saturday afternoon, about an hour before the Goodbye text, that little truth.
It's funny, how God chooses to glorify Himself. In my foolishness, He can show His Justice is right and good. And I can see that myself. At my downfall, a lot of people were vindicated; there's the "I told you so!" group. There's the person who wanted and got a front row seat to "Karma kicking my ass.", complete with popcorn.
And then there's me, who is learning about God in some unbelievable ways. I believe God blesses us in His own ways. I got blessed by a book a friend got to review that he didn't remember requesting to review. Answers to a question I didn't ask are being provided.
It's funny to me too that I still see what I saw before but now I have to tune it out. I know that the Who said things and did things that aren't going to help her down the road and I know I'm not going to be there when the phone rings next time. (I decided against changing my number when I realized my phone has a block feature on it.)
I'm enjoying the solitude and parts of me are OK with God's decision. I'd be lying if I didn't want to ask God for another chance, but without the circumstances being what they are today. But I won't. I can't because it's a new season and we're not going that direction anymore. I'm still amazed at the soft landing God provided when I fell on my face. That in itself validates to me that God is GOOD!
Sometimes our failures give God glory. I'm trying to deal with this with grace. I didn't get mean with the Who, but I did make sure I closed the doors to a replay of this. One of the things I'm asking God for is someone of my own. I have a lot of love to give. We'll see.
I'm also understand how God restores things, too. When everything had to go, the time came for everything to be replaced. I've had to wait on things, like the washer and dryer, but the delay was a blessing of time to get done in the laundry room. My furniture is picked out and will be here next Tuesday. My new kitchen appliances will be here on the 27th.
I was thinking about how God restores things. Sometimes, he reconciles relationships. Sometimes we have to live through the pain of Him not doing so to grow. Sometimes, in order for Him to restore, He has to make all things new. A lot of things are being made new at my house. I didn't get anything fancy. I was very thrifty with my purchases, and everything I've picked out has been on a pretty good sale. God blessed me in that way, too.
Even in a defeat, I'm growing closer to my Creator; my Lord Jesus. I'm being drawn and led deeper into understand the God who loves me; my Heavenly Father who chastens me; and can use that for His glory in so many ways that I could never have before understood.
I have goose bumps just thinking about that.
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