Far too much drama
One of the things I dislike about corporate worship is that there's far too much drama for me. I have enough going on in my own life, and when I see what I deem unnecessary stuff going on, I tend to be easily put off by it.
I've been thinking a lot about that lately. I very much want to be a part of the solution to the issues the group I worship with faces. I'm so blessed that I've been given an opportunity to grow and to serve in the ways that make use of things I'm blessed to be able to do.
I don't have an agenda at church, past this: Go and make disciples. It's not my mandate. That came from the Lord and I'm all about it. I go to church for two primary reasons: 1..To worship God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. And 2.. To learn more about God so I'm able to do my part in the GO thing.
I understand the importance of corporate worship. I have a family that's not blood, that I belong to. I understand that together we can do far more than each of us could accomplish separately Each of us is equipped with different gifts and abilities. Those differences in us allow us to be able to accomplish what God would have us do.
I also understand the downfalls of corporate worship. People have agendas. Just because I don't does not mean that others don't. People have certain ideas about how God should be worshiped and many arguments have ensued over the centuries about those ideas. There's a reason there isn't just one Christian church. Everything is a fight. And sometimes everything is a fight even within the walls of the building in which any given church meets.
And sometimes, we find out that we're not a good fit for a church anymore. Churches change direction. They evolve. It's not a brick and mortar thing. Christ's church is a living, breathing thing, that ought to be responding to the call on it by the Holy Spirit. Where we get in the weeds is thinking we know better than God how He should be worshiped, or thinking our own good ideas are ones that God should bless, instead of doing what He's calling us to do and expecting Him to bless that.
I see how our own ideas and expectations can cause us grief at a church, too. Our own expectations, when unmet, can cause us problems, and unchecked, those problems can lead us to start becoming part of a problem instead of part of a solution.
I had this happen to me last Sunday. I don't think it was meant the way I took it, or maybe it was, but I got kinda blamed for my former roommate not attending our church. I find that odd, but I've been thinking about that, too. I think sometimes, it's good that God allows things like that to come into our lives, just to remind us that each of us isn't without our own failings or shortcomings.
It's very true that my former roommate doesn't worship with us anymore. Is what happened at my house part of that? I'd hazard a guess that the answer is yes. So I thought about that, and here's what I came up with:
I can only keep my side of the street clean, and I have. I find it interesting though that the comment was made, because in my silence over the matter, people have been left to draw their own conclusions. I replied to the comment using my Master Sergeant Cooper voice. Sometimes you need to be firm. And the person who made the comment told me it was probably best he didn't know what happened.
I agreed, but for this reason: My former roommate needs our mutual friends far more than I need to be right or vindicated.
I can be the bad guy. I've got lots of practice at it.
I don't get church hurt anymore, but then I've changed my ideas of church. I used to think the people at church were better than me. I believed that lie. Some people believe the inverse of that lie. I wrote about that the other day when the lady I go to church with accused me of living on snob hill. I'm no better or worse than anybody else in God's eyes. He's blessed me in different ways than he has others. My address might say snob hill, but I'm very much a product of my childhood environment in the 'hood.
Some people do live on snob hill. I find though that the post office doesn't deliver mail there. Snob hill to me is a heart condition. Jesus talked about it using the parable of a Pharisee and tax collector. The Pharisee prayed loud about how he was thankful to God for making him not like other men, etc... The tax collector beat his chest with his fist and asked God to forgive him for being a sinful man.
I look in the mirror and see the tax collector.
And I see what I just told you at play in church. And not just in my church. The comment about my former roommate forced me to take a look at me. That's why I don't point fingers or judge, because when I do the first place that finger points is right at me. Knowing that has helped me change my opinions of church.
I don't see that room full of saints. I see a room full of broken people, and all of us broken in gloriously different ways. Some are more self-aware of their brokenness. Some try to hide it by putting on a show that everything is fine. Some are self-important. Some genuinely just are scared to death of anything but the status quo. Some very well-meaning people have different opinions about what'ts best for our congregation and often those involve maintaining said status quo.
I don't get mad at people at church anymore and it's because I see them for what they are: Sinners. I don't see Pharisees. I see tax collectors wearing fancy clothes. I see tax collectors who smell bad sometimes. I see tax collectors who know they're tax collectors and are trying to be better. And I see all of us meeting on Sundays to learn more about the God who created us all, and trying to carry forward that mission of GO!
The other thing I gave up on was to quit trying to be a people pleaser. My job is to Love God and love others. I can love you enough to tell you a hard truth, or forgive you for no matter what you've done to me. I saw my former roommate and his son walking down the street about a month ago. My first instinct was to stop and offer him a ride. My second one was to just leave things alone. Both were right. Both honored Christ.
One last thing about church. Church isn't so much a noun as a verb. Church is who we are, but it's also what we DO! And when we find ourselves being stifled or not able to utilize our gifts in a church, then sometimes it's necessary to make a change in the place where we worship. But that change ought to be as a result of a prompting from the Holy Spirit and not a whim, or not because we don't like the music, or someone hurt our feelings. An absolute great reason for switching a church is if the one you're at isn't following the Bible. An absolute horrible reason to leave a church is if it's not following YOUR interpretation of the Bible.
I worship where I do because I believe in my heart it's where God wants me. I know it's a place where He's preparing me for what's next. I love my church family even though I don't always agree with them. I recognize that some of them don't necessarily agree with me. It's hard for me sometimes too, to belong to this family because I'm not a shut up and color kind of guy. But learning to be a follower has its' own benefits too.
I worship at a church that, except for the lack of organ music, could be the same church my grandmother worshiped at in Salt Lake and she went home to be with Jesus in 1983. Whether or not it's a good thing isn't up to me to decide. I do know that for now, it's where I belong. So I put up with the unnecessary drama. I offer insight from Scripture when I can, and when it's appropriate. I don't need to run the church. God will do much better than I at that. I do get to SERVE the church, serve my church family, and serve the community. I don't have to.
I GET TO.
For me to arrive at that place, I had to let go of my own ideas of what I think church should be, knowing that church is made up of a bunch of sinners, a bunch of blessedly broken human beings. I didn't get there overnight.
But I'm glad I got there just the same.
I've been thinking a lot about that lately. I very much want to be a part of the solution to the issues the group I worship with faces. I'm so blessed that I've been given an opportunity to grow and to serve in the ways that make use of things I'm blessed to be able to do.
I don't have an agenda at church, past this: Go and make disciples. It's not my mandate. That came from the Lord and I'm all about it. I go to church for two primary reasons: 1..To worship God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. And 2.. To learn more about God so I'm able to do my part in the GO thing.
I understand the importance of corporate worship. I have a family that's not blood, that I belong to. I understand that together we can do far more than each of us could accomplish separately Each of us is equipped with different gifts and abilities. Those differences in us allow us to be able to accomplish what God would have us do.
I also understand the downfalls of corporate worship. People have agendas. Just because I don't does not mean that others don't. People have certain ideas about how God should be worshiped and many arguments have ensued over the centuries about those ideas. There's a reason there isn't just one Christian church. Everything is a fight. And sometimes everything is a fight even within the walls of the building in which any given church meets.
And sometimes, we find out that we're not a good fit for a church anymore. Churches change direction. They evolve. It's not a brick and mortar thing. Christ's church is a living, breathing thing, that ought to be responding to the call on it by the Holy Spirit. Where we get in the weeds is thinking we know better than God how He should be worshiped, or thinking our own good ideas are ones that God should bless, instead of doing what He's calling us to do and expecting Him to bless that.
I see how our own ideas and expectations can cause us grief at a church, too. Our own expectations, when unmet, can cause us problems, and unchecked, those problems can lead us to start becoming part of a problem instead of part of a solution.
I had this happen to me last Sunday. I don't think it was meant the way I took it, or maybe it was, but I got kinda blamed for my former roommate not attending our church. I find that odd, but I've been thinking about that, too. I think sometimes, it's good that God allows things like that to come into our lives, just to remind us that each of us isn't without our own failings or shortcomings.
It's very true that my former roommate doesn't worship with us anymore. Is what happened at my house part of that? I'd hazard a guess that the answer is yes. So I thought about that, and here's what I came up with:
I can only keep my side of the street clean, and I have. I find it interesting though that the comment was made, because in my silence over the matter, people have been left to draw their own conclusions. I replied to the comment using my Master Sergeant Cooper voice. Sometimes you need to be firm. And the person who made the comment told me it was probably best he didn't know what happened.
I agreed, but for this reason: My former roommate needs our mutual friends far more than I need to be right or vindicated.
I can be the bad guy. I've got lots of practice at it.
I don't get church hurt anymore, but then I've changed my ideas of church. I used to think the people at church were better than me. I believed that lie. Some people believe the inverse of that lie. I wrote about that the other day when the lady I go to church with accused me of living on snob hill. I'm no better or worse than anybody else in God's eyes. He's blessed me in different ways than he has others. My address might say snob hill, but I'm very much a product of my childhood environment in the 'hood.
Some people do live on snob hill. I find though that the post office doesn't deliver mail there. Snob hill to me is a heart condition. Jesus talked about it using the parable of a Pharisee and tax collector. The Pharisee prayed loud about how he was thankful to God for making him not like other men, etc... The tax collector beat his chest with his fist and asked God to forgive him for being a sinful man.
I look in the mirror and see the tax collector.
And I see what I just told you at play in church. And not just in my church. The comment about my former roommate forced me to take a look at me. That's why I don't point fingers or judge, because when I do the first place that finger points is right at me. Knowing that has helped me change my opinions of church.
I don't see that room full of saints. I see a room full of broken people, and all of us broken in gloriously different ways. Some are more self-aware of their brokenness. Some try to hide it by putting on a show that everything is fine. Some are self-important. Some genuinely just are scared to death of anything but the status quo. Some very well-meaning people have different opinions about what'ts best for our congregation and often those involve maintaining said status quo.
I don't get mad at people at church anymore and it's because I see them for what they are: Sinners. I don't see Pharisees. I see tax collectors wearing fancy clothes. I see tax collectors who smell bad sometimes. I see tax collectors who know they're tax collectors and are trying to be better. And I see all of us meeting on Sundays to learn more about the God who created us all, and trying to carry forward that mission of GO!
The other thing I gave up on was to quit trying to be a people pleaser. My job is to Love God and love others. I can love you enough to tell you a hard truth, or forgive you for no matter what you've done to me. I saw my former roommate and his son walking down the street about a month ago. My first instinct was to stop and offer him a ride. My second one was to just leave things alone. Both were right. Both honored Christ.
One last thing about church. Church isn't so much a noun as a verb. Church is who we are, but it's also what we DO! And when we find ourselves being stifled or not able to utilize our gifts in a church, then sometimes it's necessary to make a change in the place where we worship. But that change ought to be as a result of a prompting from the Holy Spirit and not a whim, or not because we don't like the music, or someone hurt our feelings. An absolute great reason for switching a church is if the one you're at isn't following the Bible. An absolute horrible reason to leave a church is if it's not following YOUR interpretation of the Bible.
I worship where I do because I believe in my heart it's where God wants me. I know it's a place where He's preparing me for what's next. I love my church family even though I don't always agree with them. I recognize that some of them don't necessarily agree with me. It's hard for me sometimes too, to belong to this family because I'm not a shut up and color kind of guy. But learning to be a follower has its' own benefits too.
I worship at a church that, except for the lack of organ music, could be the same church my grandmother worshiped at in Salt Lake and she went home to be with Jesus in 1983. Whether or not it's a good thing isn't up to me to decide. I do know that for now, it's where I belong. So I put up with the unnecessary drama. I offer insight from Scripture when I can, and when it's appropriate. I don't need to run the church. God will do much better than I at that. I do get to SERVE the church, serve my church family, and serve the community. I don't have to.
I GET TO.
For me to arrive at that place, I had to let go of my own ideas of what I think church should be, knowing that church is made up of a bunch of sinners, a bunch of blessedly broken human beings. I didn't get there overnight.
But I'm glad I got there just the same.
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