When worlds collide...
I shared with you something very profound from a book I'm reading. Today's blog is about why I do some of the things (like painting my bedroom lilac and white) I've done over the past couple of months.
As the quote read, what you do says more than what you say. If I truly believe in God's word, what He wants for me, then my actions would show it.
I had to explain this a little bit to a few of my friends over the last week. Doing things like painting the bedroom and moving into a small room when it's just me and three bedrooms doesn't make sense but then it does, from the point of view that I was asked to do it and told that if she shows up, she does, if she doesn't she doesn't.
These things may not make sense, but the thing is this: The wife asked me to do it. There's a Biblical foundation to support honoring your wife and the best way I can show her I've changed is to, well, SHOW her. Since April, the Mrs. asked me to do three things, buy a bus ticket (I did), change my voice mail greeting (I did), and paint the bedroom and have all my stuff out of it (I did).
I do these things not based on some irrational inability to let go of a dying relationship. Not because I have this sick attachment to a human being that I can't let go of. I do them because she's still my wife and if I say I'm a Christian, then I need to act like one. I honored her wishes.
There's a life lesson in there. It may have been a waste of time, the effort may have been futile at restoring a relationship, but one of the things it did accomplish was to bring me closer to God. That's never futile. I applied the truth of Scripture to my life in an almost impossible circumstance and grew from it. In God's eyes, I'm still married and I need to act like it until the minute I'm not.
As I said, I don't think we can cherry-pick which part of God's Holy Word to follow and which not to follow. It's not easy. If I even pretended that I understood the least little bit of this, I'd be lying. At this point, I'm not really sure where the path is going. Faith tells me that there is a reason for all of this and when I need to, I'll understand. Life some days is a bit of a slog through a mud puddle, but onward we go.
I titled the post "When worlds collide" for a reason. What makes sense, what the worldly thing to do in my situation is direct opposition to God's written Word for all of us. If I claim to be a Christian and don't try to live by the Word, that's what doesn't make sense to me. I can't control what the Mrs. does any more than I can control anything anyone else does. I have to make choices for me and I'm making the best ones I can from a Christian point-of-view. I trust that God knows the outcome and that whatever it is, will be according to His will and bring Glory to Him.
To do this, it means putting aside something I want (notice I never talk about what I want anymore?) because the desire to do His will runs deeper than what I would do if I were running the circus that my life appears to be. I didn't and couldn't have arrived at this point without God leading me down the path, without trusting Jesus, and without believing that God can do things others can't. I don't understand but then if I did, then it wouldn't be God at work, would it?
I hope this explains things and you can take some things away from this post to apply to your own life.
God Bless y'all
Coop
As the quote read, what you do says more than what you say. If I truly believe in God's word, what He wants for me, then my actions would show it.
I had to explain this a little bit to a few of my friends over the last week. Doing things like painting the bedroom and moving into a small room when it's just me and three bedrooms doesn't make sense but then it does, from the point of view that I was asked to do it and told that if she shows up, she does, if she doesn't she doesn't.
These things may not make sense, but the thing is this: The wife asked me to do it. There's a Biblical foundation to support honoring your wife and the best way I can show her I've changed is to, well, SHOW her. Since April, the Mrs. asked me to do three things, buy a bus ticket (I did), change my voice mail greeting (I did), and paint the bedroom and have all my stuff out of it (I did).
I do these things not based on some irrational inability to let go of a dying relationship. Not because I have this sick attachment to a human being that I can't let go of. I do them because she's still my wife and if I say I'm a Christian, then I need to act like one. I honored her wishes.
There's a life lesson in there. It may have been a waste of time, the effort may have been futile at restoring a relationship, but one of the things it did accomplish was to bring me closer to God. That's never futile. I applied the truth of Scripture to my life in an almost impossible circumstance and grew from it. In God's eyes, I'm still married and I need to act like it until the minute I'm not.
As I said, I don't think we can cherry-pick which part of God's Holy Word to follow and which not to follow. It's not easy. If I even pretended that I understood the least little bit of this, I'd be lying. At this point, I'm not really sure where the path is going. Faith tells me that there is a reason for all of this and when I need to, I'll understand. Life some days is a bit of a slog through a mud puddle, but onward we go.
I titled the post "When worlds collide" for a reason. What makes sense, what the worldly thing to do in my situation is direct opposition to God's written Word for all of us. If I claim to be a Christian and don't try to live by the Word, that's what doesn't make sense to me. I can't control what the Mrs. does any more than I can control anything anyone else does. I have to make choices for me and I'm making the best ones I can from a Christian point-of-view. I trust that God knows the outcome and that whatever it is, will be according to His will and bring Glory to Him.
To do this, it means putting aside something I want (notice I never talk about what I want anymore?) because the desire to do His will runs deeper than what I would do if I were running the circus that my life appears to be. I didn't and couldn't have arrived at this point without God leading me down the path, without trusting Jesus, and without believing that God can do things others can't. I don't understand but then if I did, then it wouldn't be God at work, would it?
I hope this explains things and you can take some things away from this post to apply to your own life.
God Bless y'all
Coop
I get your reasoning behind what you are doing because she's asked you too. I assume divorce has been put on hiatus. You stopped the sale on house, moved out of main bedroom, even thou you're only one living there, sent ticket that sounds like was never used and all for what? You have honored your wife by doing as she has asked....but is she really honoring you or she taking advantage of the new man you've become?
ReplyDeleteHere's why:
ReplyDeleteFrom 1 Corinthians 7:10-11(NIV)
10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
Never, however, make assumptions. Ask questions, yes. But never assume anything.
As to your comment of whether Wendi's taking advantage of me? I don't think so. I think Wendi made a very difficult choice and now will be stuck with the consequences of that choice, as I am for the choice I made.
I apologize for assuming something i know nothing of. It's just a conclusion i came to from what i read. You sound like a very sincere person. I hope your wife Wendi see's you as the same.
ReplyDelete