Now what?

I haven't called the courthouse so I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty sure I'm single.

It took the judge just a week to waive the 90 day cooling off period and said judge has had the divorce papers for ten days now, so I'm thinking it's a done deal.

It's sad as I mentioned, but it is what it is and it's an answer.  Just not the one I thought was going to happen.

So now what?

I've been thinking about that for a while.  The whole Oregon thing is getting ridonkulous.  The little Oregonians are everywhere.  Jared and I saw a lot of them in Yellowstone.  I've seen one or two a day but it's where I see them.  The last two were on base and not the same car.  One had flashing lights on a white car behind it today as I left the Commissary.  I'm making bread after I type this.

I have enough to do this weekend to keep me busy.  Apples and apricots are ripe.  June makes better jam than I and she's got seven half-pints of peach and apricot jam done.  A pan of apples is simmering now and there's a half-sinkful ready to go after this batch is done.  I'm making apple butter and it's a process.  I had to put green-to-blue stuff in the pool.  It worked and the pool is clear except for what's left of the gunk that needs to settle to the bottom again after I vacuumed it the first time.  So that's not what I'm talking about.

What am I going to do with my life?

I don't know.  Aside from the disastrous first attempt at owning a business, I'm thinking I'd like to give that a try.  I found the perfect one I'd like to have for sale in Oregon.  It's a big state, so I won't say where because I"m kind of in prayer about the whole thing.  I also have to stop and ask myself if the business I'm praying about is something I'd be good at or like to do.  Those things matter.

Again, I don't know, but we'll see.

I think for me, the big telling thing will be to see if the government is going to downsize in 2014.  If they do, I'm thinking about early retirement.  I have a lot of things to think about because I really don't have anything else planned.  I mean that.  Things didn't go the way I thought they would.  I was always open to (and in all honestly, not exactly opposed to) things turning out this way.  I fought the good fight, tried and tried again, and I failed.  It's not the first time I've done that and three years kind of wears the shock value off of it.  At this point, any end was more of a relief than anything.

The thing is that I'm not worried about the future; quite the contrary, I'm excited about it.  My kids are grown, I have nothing holding me where I'm at except gravity and if I can retire and get a check for doing nothing, then I have tons of options about what I would do.  Running a business where I'm not dependent on it to pay my bills for a few years sounds pretty good.

We'll have to see.

One thing's for sure:  I'm not doing anything I don't feel the Lord leading me to.  I made that mistake too many times and this time, I need to be sure before I take that step.  For now, it's kitchen duty, playing with the muttleys, working in the yard, and finally getting to the weeds in the garden.

And trying to figure out what to do next!