Being the bad guy
I forget the song, but one of the lyrics is: I won't deny the worst you can say about me
Having said that, a lot of what I get blamed for these days is stuff I used to do before Jesus found me. I didn't find Him, by the way: He wasn't the lost one. I was. I'm never going to be accused of being father of the year or anything. I made a ton of mistakes with my kids. I got yelled at about that this morning in response to a question I posed my first ex-wife. I couldn't argue with what she said and right now, there's no point in trying to make it better. Sometimes you extend the olive branch; sometimes someone takes it and beats you with it.
I'm used to it.
The thing is though, that I can't help but wonder why. I'm not going to ask. My son is a grown man and there's not really much of a reason to speak to his mother if she's not going to try and help me make things better. I also know that sometimes, no matter what you do, the people who you've wronged in the past just aren't going to respond to an apology and a willingness to try and fix things the best you can. But in this case, something changed a couple of months ago and I can't help but wonder if some things that were said about me by someone else that I know she saw played into that.
For my part, I understand that every bad story needs to have a villain. In watching the Batman and Spiderman movies recently, I'm reminded that sometimes the good guy has to play the bad guy because that's what's needed most. I'm just trying to figure out how I got to be the bad guy
It's tough, though. Part of what makes it hard is that you want people to know that you're really not that way. Then the other part remembers that all I can do is clean up and keep clean my side of the street. Easy to say; sometimes hard to do.
Especially when you like being right all the time. And you have a big mouth. Both of which I've been guilty of in the past.
Three things have helped me be the bad guy. All three are gifts from God because those that know me well know that while I had the right to remain silent, I often lacked the ability. God gave that to me in Jesus' teachings that we should turn the other cheek. Praying for those who vilify me also helps. It's odd but one of the first things I learned when I went to see the therapist three and a quarter years ago. She told me to ask God to bless others who I didn't much care for as much as I wanted to be blessed. Again this is a teaching of Jesus and it really helps bring you peace and enables you to forgive. Turning the other cheek is also an instruction from our Lord. It's hard, but sometimes, when you need to be someone's bad guy, it's the right thing to do.
As you read this, you'll notice a lack of specifics or a denial of this or that. It's not something that turned into a he said/she said thing and thats's the point. Sometimes it's just necessary to be someone's bad guy.
As I started writing this in my head a few hours ago, I wondered to myself who my bad guy was. I don't have one. I think that's part of a Christian walk. I know there's an enemy who wants me to get off the narrow path. I get really bothered when I hear people take the Lord's name in vain. But I don't have a bad guy. I own 100% of my part of every mess. When you do that, I think it takes away your need for one. It also comes down to an ability and willingness to forgive someone. I think Jesus had something to say on that topic as well.
As you think about today's post, stop and ask yourself about the bad guys in your story (male or female). If you have them, stop and ask yourself why? And then carry the thought one step further and ask yourself if there's anything you can do to make them not be that person in your life anymore.
Have a blessed Saturday!
Having said that, a lot of what I get blamed for these days is stuff I used to do before Jesus found me. I didn't find Him, by the way: He wasn't the lost one. I was. I'm never going to be accused of being father of the year or anything. I made a ton of mistakes with my kids. I got yelled at about that this morning in response to a question I posed my first ex-wife. I couldn't argue with what she said and right now, there's no point in trying to make it better. Sometimes you extend the olive branch; sometimes someone takes it and beats you with it.
I'm used to it.
The thing is though, that I can't help but wonder why. I'm not going to ask. My son is a grown man and there's not really much of a reason to speak to his mother if she's not going to try and help me make things better. I also know that sometimes, no matter what you do, the people who you've wronged in the past just aren't going to respond to an apology and a willingness to try and fix things the best you can. But in this case, something changed a couple of months ago and I can't help but wonder if some things that were said about me by someone else that I know she saw played into that.
For my part, I understand that every bad story needs to have a villain. In watching the Batman and Spiderman movies recently, I'm reminded that sometimes the good guy has to play the bad guy because that's what's needed most. I'm just trying to figure out how I got to be the bad guy
It's tough, though. Part of what makes it hard is that you want people to know that you're really not that way. Then the other part remembers that all I can do is clean up and keep clean my side of the street. Easy to say; sometimes hard to do.
Especially when you like being right all the time. And you have a big mouth. Both of which I've been guilty of in the past.
Three things have helped me be the bad guy. All three are gifts from God because those that know me well know that while I had the right to remain silent, I often lacked the ability. God gave that to me in Jesus' teachings that we should turn the other cheek. Praying for those who vilify me also helps. It's odd but one of the first things I learned when I went to see the therapist three and a quarter years ago. She told me to ask God to bless others who I didn't much care for as much as I wanted to be blessed. Again this is a teaching of Jesus and it really helps bring you peace and enables you to forgive. Turning the other cheek is also an instruction from our Lord. It's hard, but sometimes, when you need to be someone's bad guy, it's the right thing to do.
As you read this, you'll notice a lack of specifics or a denial of this or that. It's not something that turned into a he said/she said thing and thats's the point. Sometimes it's just necessary to be someone's bad guy.
As I started writing this in my head a few hours ago, I wondered to myself who my bad guy was. I don't have one. I think that's part of a Christian walk. I know there's an enemy who wants me to get off the narrow path. I get really bothered when I hear people take the Lord's name in vain. But I don't have a bad guy. I own 100% of my part of every mess. When you do that, I think it takes away your need for one. It also comes down to an ability and willingness to forgive someone. I think Jesus had something to say on that topic as well.
As you think about today's post, stop and ask yourself about the bad guys in your story (male or female). If you have them, stop and ask yourself why? And then carry the thought one step further and ask yourself if there's anything you can do to make them not be that person in your life anymore.
Have a blessed Saturday!
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