Well, it's never boring.....
First off I need to start this with a simple acknowledgement: I did not forget that had I not done the things in my life I did, today would be my 7th wedding anniversary. I spent the morning of this lovely day with the man who performed that ceremony as we venture forward with our study into becoming maximized men.
This week's lesson is all about marriage. The lesson on the radio on the way to the church this morning was centered around the high cost of low living and the story of David's sin with Bathsheba was the scripture verse.
Follow that up with a call from the Air Force benefits people. There is an issue with removing some folks from my healthcare coverage. They want a copy of my divorce decree and then they have to have a meeting to figure it out from there. Color me surprised/shocked. But today? Really?!
Yup. Really. Because that's the way God wants it today. It's my lesson to remember the cost of getting out of His will. It's hefty. And our sins sometimes have consequences that last. Having our sins forgiven does not insulate us from the cost of them. Better here and now than forever and eternity, say I.
I sent Miss June armed with a message for the former Mrs. the other day. It was simple: "I didn't forget and I'm sorry." The message was absolutely pointless.
Here's the thing. She knows I'm sorry. But sorry sometimes doesn't change things. I'm in the middle of that right now. Something happened in my life that made me not want to be in a relationship anymore. There's plenty of sorry, but sorry doesn't change what happened. I'm blessed to help the former GF with some things but sorry isn't going to change things anymore than my sorry would change things with the former Mrs. I think it's right to express sorry but I understand too that there gets to be a point where saying it becomes pointless.
We passed pointless about a while ago.
It's a lesson that I learned this week. So why bring it up? The lesson is worth sharing. We can trap ourselves in sorry. I'm very sorry. God forgave me and changed me into a person that wouldn't do what I did. I didn't affect that change. God did! I couldn't, as I was so aptly reminded today from my lesson. I could try to tell other people that they need to forgive me. That won't work. I can ask and hope they do. It doesn't mean they will. And even where forgiveness is expressed, that forgiveness doesn't necessarily lead to the desired outcome we want.
It's a hard lesson to live through. On both sides.
So to end this thought, I didn't forget. I wasn't supposed to.
So what does Jonah have to do with this?
I was reading the story of Jonah the other day and the words about Jonah running from God and being in the boat really stuck with me. The sailors recognized their trouble came because Jonah was running from God. Jonah told them to throw him overboard and they gladly obliged him. The storm ceased and the sailors gave thanks to God and sacrificed to Him.
Jonah got swallowed by a fish. Because Jonah had to go to Nineveh. An aside to me, Nineveh is not back. For some reason I need to remember that. But I wasn't running from God, either. And I didn't get caught in a big fish. There are times though, that you read things in the Bible and you kinda need to pay attention to it. Like when you hear the same story told in the New Testament on the radio at three in the morning because you had to run back to the hangar and put your air hose and extension cord back in your toolbox because like a moron you left them out because you were talking to a co-worker at quitting time; and coming on the day when you told your boss that in 30 years, you'd never been written up by QA.
That's how I got in the truck and that's how I heard the Jonah story again.
I'm not reluctant to go. But where is my Nineveh? Where am I not going that I should be going? What do I do when I get there?
There's a real important question that I never applied to my whole Oregon thing. Kinda dumb to have an idea and no plan.
I'm working on a plan, but I need to kind of have an idea what to plan for. So I'm making two. One for staying, one for going. All I know is that I'm listening.
So, co-dependency has been shot all to hell. I guess I don't need that someone in my life. I know I'd like to have someone but that has changed from thinking I needed someone. I waited until a week after the divorce was final before I started dating. I had one date and that finally came to an end on Saturday morning. Not being intimate was a good idea in hind sight. There's just another truth of Scripture that comes to life. Obedience to God's commandments isn't to stifle us but to free us. That tie that binds wasn't there, so when it became evident to me that things were going in the wrong direction, I was able to have the strength to say so. I think sex would have clouded that issue and made us closer than we really were. It's kind of a freedom. That freedom can be dangerous.
Dangerous. There's a word. I heard it on Sunday and in the right context, dangerous is a great concept. I can be dangerous for the Lord because I'm not encumbered with too much that would keep me occupied with other things. I know part of my plan has to be to finish up what I'm committed to right now, but when that's done, who knows? God does.
But dangerous? That sounds like adventure! I love adventure! I don't love hardship so it's scary too. But exciting! That word really struck a chord with me.
Dangerous? Coop? Me, dangerous? Right now, probably, but in a destructive way because I haven't completed the training. I'm not gonna do the Luke Skywalker thing. When I'm ready, then I can be dangerous. Right now, I'm just available.
And willing.
Heck, that's a dangerous combination there.
Anyway, a lot to digest on anniversary day.
God is good all the time, isn't He?
This week's lesson is all about marriage. The lesson on the radio on the way to the church this morning was centered around the high cost of low living and the story of David's sin with Bathsheba was the scripture verse.
Follow that up with a call from the Air Force benefits people. There is an issue with removing some folks from my healthcare coverage. They want a copy of my divorce decree and then they have to have a meeting to figure it out from there. Color me surprised/shocked. But today? Really?!
Yup. Really. Because that's the way God wants it today. It's my lesson to remember the cost of getting out of His will. It's hefty. And our sins sometimes have consequences that last. Having our sins forgiven does not insulate us from the cost of them. Better here and now than forever and eternity, say I.
I sent Miss June armed with a message for the former Mrs. the other day. It was simple: "I didn't forget and I'm sorry." The message was absolutely pointless.
Here's the thing. She knows I'm sorry. But sorry sometimes doesn't change things. I'm in the middle of that right now. Something happened in my life that made me not want to be in a relationship anymore. There's plenty of sorry, but sorry doesn't change what happened. I'm blessed to help the former GF with some things but sorry isn't going to change things anymore than my sorry would change things with the former Mrs. I think it's right to express sorry but I understand too that there gets to be a point where saying it becomes pointless.
We passed pointless about a while ago.
It's a lesson that I learned this week. So why bring it up? The lesson is worth sharing. We can trap ourselves in sorry. I'm very sorry. God forgave me and changed me into a person that wouldn't do what I did. I didn't affect that change. God did! I couldn't, as I was so aptly reminded today from my lesson. I could try to tell other people that they need to forgive me. That won't work. I can ask and hope they do. It doesn't mean they will. And even where forgiveness is expressed, that forgiveness doesn't necessarily lead to the desired outcome we want.
It's a hard lesson to live through. On both sides.
So to end this thought, I didn't forget. I wasn't supposed to.
So what does Jonah have to do with this?
I was reading the story of Jonah the other day and the words about Jonah running from God and being in the boat really stuck with me. The sailors recognized their trouble came because Jonah was running from God. Jonah told them to throw him overboard and they gladly obliged him. The storm ceased and the sailors gave thanks to God and sacrificed to Him.
Jonah got swallowed by a fish. Because Jonah had to go to Nineveh. An aside to me, Nineveh is not back. For some reason I need to remember that. But I wasn't running from God, either. And I didn't get caught in a big fish. There are times though, that you read things in the Bible and you kinda need to pay attention to it. Like when you hear the same story told in the New Testament on the radio at three in the morning because you had to run back to the hangar and put your air hose and extension cord back in your toolbox because like a moron you left them out because you were talking to a co-worker at quitting time; and coming on the day when you told your boss that in 30 years, you'd never been written up by QA.
That's how I got in the truck and that's how I heard the Jonah story again.
I'm not reluctant to go. But where is my Nineveh? Where am I not going that I should be going? What do I do when I get there?
There's a real important question that I never applied to my whole Oregon thing. Kinda dumb to have an idea and no plan.
I'm working on a plan, but I need to kind of have an idea what to plan for. So I'm making two. One for staying, one for going. All I know is that I'm listening.
So, co-dependency has been shot all to hell. I guess I don't need that someone in my life. I know I'd like to have someone but that has changed from thinking I needed someone. I waited until a week after the divorce was final before I started dating. I had one date and that finally came to an end on Saturday morning. Not being intimate was a good idea in hind sight. There's just another truth of Scripture that comes to life. Obedience to God's commandments isn't to stifle us but to free us. That tie that binds wasn't there, so when it became evident to me that things were going in the wrong direction, I was able to have the strength to say so. I think sex would have clouded that issue and made us closer than we really were. It's kind of a freedom. That freedom can be dangerous.
Dangerous. There's a word. I heard it on Sunday and in the right context, dangerous is a great concept. I can be dangerous for the Lord because I'm not encumbered with too much that would keep me occupied with other things. I know part of my plan has to be to finish up what I'm committed to right now, but when that's done, who knows? God does.
But dangerous? That sounds like adventure! I love adventure! I don't love hardship so it's scary too. But exciting! That word really struck a chord with me.
Dangerous? Coop? Me, dangerous? Right now, probably, but in a destructive way because I haven't completed the training. I'm not gonna do the Luke Skywalker thing. When I'm ready, then I can be dangerous. Right now, I'm just available.
And willing.
Heck, that's a dangerous combination there.
Anyway, a lot to digest on anniversary day.
God is good all the time, isn't He?
Comments
Post a Comment