season

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I'm reading a book I've had for over a year.  Finally.  But I got stuck on a section of it I can't get past without actually taking the time to evaluate where I'm at in my life and my walk with Christ.  I've been kind of doing that the last couple of days; maybe not so much out of want, but out of need.

One of the things I needed to do was evaluate what the season of life I'm in is.  Applying the principles of the four seasons didn't seem to work.  I would like to think I'm in the 3rd quarter of life physically and time-wise.  But what season?

After careful thought it came to me:  The rainy season.

It's been raining in my life for quite some time and sometimes it takes a toll on me.  Things happen that really hurt.  A lot of things happen I just don't understand.  A long talk with God whist walking around the duck pond last night kind of cleared things up for me.

Sometimes God is going to use me in a situation and I'm gonna get hurt.  The thing is though, through that hurt I have the opportunity to demonstrate something I badly need in my own life....God's grace.  God often-times uses other people as an answer to prayer or to be a blessing.  Who am I, I came to realize, to question how God chooses to use me in His plan?

The other thing I came to know is that I need to leave room for God's grace in my own life.  I don't have to understand anything.  I just need to respond with "I will".  I want is of little importance.  Want is a word I'm using less and less.  I would like, but.... is more the thought these days.  I would like to have a lot of things.

What I need is Jesus.

What I want is for God's will to be done in my life.  I would like it to be an easy, painless process.  I would like to not be caught by surprise.  I would like to avoid some of the consequences I'm still suffering from, for being stupid, to go away.

And that's not gonna happen anytime soon.  Because I'm in a rainy season.

Seasons change and I can't change the season.  I have no power over my circumstances these days.  That's really true.  There's not a lot I can do to change anything and I'm right where God wants me to be.  Understanding and accepting that has been a blessing.

So it's a rainy season.  I'm still blessed beyond measure.

And I'm thankful for every lesson.

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