Gifts from heaven
I took a little road trip to Tooele the other day. It was a divine appointment with a young man who doesn't now, but will someday, have a part in my story. It was two hours in a car, a conversation with someone who, from past experiences, could relate to a younger man facing a lot of stuff nobody should have to at 25.
I didn't have my snow globe shaken until I turned 45 and like this young man, it was dumb choices of my own doing. I understand addiction so much better than I ever thought I could because I had one, and it's one of those things, that by God's grace, He's taken from me. The desire still rears its' ugly head from time to time, but I have better tools to deal with it. Oddly, one came from a very odd source: an old movie on TCM I saw from the 1930's, where a singer was singing about being tempted. The title lyric was "Get the behind me, Satan."
Power in those words, folks. Let me tell you. Jesus spoke them to Peter.
So I have this tune when I think I'm having a little bout with the Enemy and his minions. ♪get thee behind me, Satan...♪ and I make up some words for whatever the situation is. I know it sounds kinda dumb but you know what, singing is worship, and more importantly, it works.
Now that we've taken that musical detour, let's get back on the road. I was able to cross the great age chasm between this man and myself because of a shared experience of repurposing a beer can for something else. The story I told him was from when I was in his age group and I used it to illustrate how God worked in my life even before I believed. He saved me three times I can think of off hand where I was stupid and the consequences would have been devastating. I look back on that now in a different light. A scriptural one. He saved my butt because it was part of His plan for my life for it to fall apart like it did.
I shared a bit of wisdom with the young man and he listened because he knew I wasn't pretending to understand him. I did understand him and because of that he was willing to listen to a conversation about God and how He saves. Will it matter? Yup! Will it matter today? I don't know, but I got through to him far enough to plant a seed that will be watered by someone else. That one will sprout and grow. I don't know how I know that. I just do.
It took a long year for God to orchestrate that little road trip but I saw a lot of how what had happened to me in the last year come full circle. The end of the trip was like this: I was talking about living in Utah my whole life but how this was only my 5th or 6th trip to Tooele. I told him that once was for a football game with my kids and once was with his mom, once was with his mom and sister, and once I couldn't tell him about right then, but I told him someday I would.
Someday came in about three more miles. We passed a certain business and about a block after, he mentioned something about that business he thought took place. There was hurt and sadness in his voice; a painful memory because it involved trusting someone and a thing that was important to someone else. I explained that what he was led to believe happen didn't, and told him about my last trip to Tooele. I heard this man utter these words: "Thank God!"
Sometimes, those crazy things God has me do turn out to be not so crazy later on. It wasn't my idea to even inquire about the matter last year. Just a thought that was given to me, and conviction of the Holy Spirit to act upon. With a little help from my mom, who sometimes gets to temporarily finance these little adventures of mine.
I had to tell you all about that to tell you all about this:
The thing I have the hardest time with in my Christian walk is not knowing. God speaks and I believe that. It's more in my own voice and usually takes the form of an idea or thought that I know didn't come from me. It's how I got my Who back into my life (and how I got her in the first place). But sometimes confusion sets in because of the challenges reality seems to present. It's easy to get caught up in a moment and sometimes you really get attacked spiritually.
My life often doesn't make sense and it's easy to fall victim to confusion about what the right way forward is, so I took the advice that was presented to me all last week and just trusted God. That's always the right thing to do, by the way. It doesn't mean that things are gonna work out the way you think they will (think back to Wendi) but if I hadn't followed God through that, there's no way I'd have followed Him through this. And if I had just done what He told me, I wouldn't even have to go through this, but that's another matter!
So, I got to the point last night where I just wasn't going to listen to ideas. I had a plane to fix, some guys to kind of help motivate in the right direction to get said tasks accomplished (every now and again that MSGT thing comes out). One of my co-workers asked me a question and I answered it, and not two minutes later, he asked someone else, within earshot of me and he got the "HEY", followed by someone speaking using my voice but in kind and gentle terms, explaining (not telling him forcefully) that I'd already answered his question. I say someone else speaking because I generally don't like it when someone doesn't listen to me but I found myself not chastising or anything but explaining I'd already answered that question and if he listened, he would have found what he was looking for in a way that let him know I didn't appreciate his not listening and not pissing him off in the process.
Yeah, I know...I'm still wondering how that happened and grateful that it did.
Anyway, I just kept saying "I trust You, Lord"..."I trust You, God." It's me I don't trust and I don't want to make things up in my head.
I do believe that the Enemy is the author of confusion. And a confused Christian is not helpful to God, so I confessed I was before I went to bed. I am a visual person and I needed some answers. I can say that I needed them because I got them.
I had a doosey of a dream. It was full of a lot of symbolism, a cameo appearance by someone in circumstance I hadn't seen in 20+ years, and it was all about the answers I needed. I'm not confused anymore. I understand what the plan is going forward. I'm certain of it. I understand there's waiting and there's some rain in store (part of my dream was that it was raining in a store where I was looking for something I couldn't find...the sprinklers had malfunctioned but they were still open). There will be waiting involved. Part of my dream was being led from one room to another, down a long hallway, and passing my "doctor" who was standing at the midway point in the hall having a cigarette. IN the hallway. But when I got to the next waiting room, someone told me it would be only a short wait from there. I figured my "doctor" had to finish her smoke.
In part of my dream, there were two pieces of taffy on her sofa, one was orange, and one was orange and yellow in color. Fall colored taffy. And the words spoken in the dream seem to indicate a timetable. And the outcome of something that's been driving me absolutely nuts.
We pay a lot of lip service to listening to God when He speaks. Last night, I couldn't because of the thoughts and feelings I was dealing with. God not only knew that, but understood it and gave me what I so desperately needed...
Answers.
I'm now armed with a God-given dream. What happens and how we get to where I need to be I don't know. There will be waiting. There will be rain. Most likely there will be a great amount of pain. I don't need to look for something else because there isn't something else. Not for me. And a timetable which I'm hopeful is subject to change. But that's up to God and in His time, this plan will unfold. I have a goal. I have a dream.
I have hope.
And answers. Which were a gift from God.
I didn't have my snow globe shaken until I turned 45 and like this young man, it was dumb choices of my own doing. I understand addiction so much better than I ever thought I could because I had one, and it's one of those things, that by God's grace, He's taken from me. The desire still rears its' ugly head from time to time, but I have better tools to deal with it. Oddly, one came from a very odd source: an old movie on TCM I saw from the 1930's, where a singer was singing about being tempted. The title lyric was "Get the behind me, Satan."
Power in those words, folks. Let me tell you. Jesus spoke them to Peter.
So I have this tune when I think I'm having a little bout with the Enemy and his minions. ♪get thee behind me, Satan...♪ and I make up some words for whatever the situation is. I know it sounds kinda dumb but you know what, singing is worship, and more importantly, it works.
Now that we've taken that musical detour, let's get back on the road. I was able to cross the great age chasm between this man and myself because of a shared experience of repurposing a beer can for something else. The story I told him was from when I was in his age group and I used it to illustrate how God worked in my life even before I believed. He saved me three times I can think of off hand where I was stupid and the consequences would have been devastating. I look back on that now in a different light. A scriptural one. He saved my butt because it was part of His plan for my life for it to fall apart like it did.
I shared a bit of wisdom with the young man and he listened because he knew I wasn't pretending to understand him. I did understand him and because of that he was willing to listen to a conversation about God and how He saves. Will it matter? Yup! Will it matter today? I don't know, but I got through to him far enough to plant a seed that will be watered by someone else. That one will sprout and grow. I don't know how I know that. I just do.
It took a long year for God to orchestrate that little road trip but I saw a lot of how what had happened to me in the last year come full circle. The end of the trip was like this: I was talking about living in Utah my whole life but how this was only my 5th or 6th trip to Tooele. I told him that once was for a football game with my kids and once was with his mom, once was with his mom and sister, and once I couldn't tell him about right then, but I told him someday I would.
Someday came in about three more miles. We passed a certain business and about a block after, he mentioned something about that business he thought took place. There was hurt and sadness in his voice; a painful memory because it involved trusting someone and a thing that was important to someone else. I explained that what he was led to believe happen didn't, and told him about my last trip to Tooele. I heard this man utter these words: "Thank God!"
Sometimes, those crazy things God has me do turn out to be not so crazy later on. It wasn't my idea to even inquire about the matter last year. Just a thought that was given to me, and conviction of the Holy Spirit to act upon. With a little help from my mom, who sometimes gets to temporarily finance these little adventures of mine.
I had to tell you all about that to tell you all about this:
The thing I have the hardest time with in my Christian walk is not knowing. God speaks and I believe that. It's more in my own voice and usually takes the form of an idea or thought that I know didn't come from me. It's how I got my Who back into my life (and how I got her in the first place). But sometimes confusion sets in because of the challenges reality seems to present. It's easy to get caught up in a moment and sometimes you really get attacked spiritually.
My life often doesn't make sense and it's easy to fall victim to confusion about what the right way forward is, so I took the advice that was presented to me all last week and just trusted God. That's always the right thing to do, by the way. It doesn't mean that things are gonna work out the way you think they will (think back to Wendi) but if I hadn't followed God through that, there's no way I'd have followed Him through this. And if I had just done what He told me, I wouldn't even have to go through this, but that's another matter!
So, I got to the point last night where I just wasn't going to listen to ideas. I had a plane to fix, some guys to kind of help motivate in the right direction to get said tasks accomplished (every now and again that MSGT thing comes out). One of my co-workers asked me a question and I answered it, and not two minutes later, he asked someone else, within earshot of me and he got the "HEY", followed by someone speaking using my voice but in kind and gentle terms, explaining (not telling him forcefully) that I'd already answered his question. I say someone else speaking because I generally don't like it when someone doesn't listen to me but I found myself not chastising or anything but explaining I'd already answered that question and if he listened, he would have found what he was looking for in a way that let him know I didn't appreciate his not listening and not pissing him off in the process.
Yeah, I know...I'm still wondering how that happened and grateful that it did.
Anyway, I just kept saying "I trust You, Lord"..."I trust You, God." It's me I don't trust and I don't want to make things up in my head.
I do believe that the Enemy is the author of confusion. And a confused Christian is not helpful to God, so I confessed I was before I went to bed. I am a visual person and I needed some answers. I can say that I needed them because I got them.
I had a doosey of a dream. It was full of a lot of symbolism, a cameo appearance by someone in circumstance I hadn't seen in 20+ years, and it was all about the answers I needed. I'm not confused anymore. I understand what the plan is going forward. I'm certain of it. I understand there's waiting and there's some rain in store (part of my dream was that it was raining in a store where I was looking for something I couldn't find...the sprinklers had malfunctioned but they were still open). There will be waiting involved. Part of my dream was being led from one room to another, down a long hallway, and passing my "doctor" who was standing at the midway point in the hall having a cigarette. IN the hallway. But when I got to the next waiting room, someone told me it would be only a short wait from there. I figured my "doctor" had to finish her smoke.
In part of my dream, there were two pieces of taffy on her sofa, one was orange, and one was orange and yellow in color. Fall colored taffy. And the words spoken in the dream seem to indicate a timetable. And the outcome of something that's been driving me absolutely nuts.
We pay a lot of lip service to listening to God when He speaks. Last night, I couldn't because of the thoughts and feelings I was dealing with. God not only knew that, but understood it and gave me what I so desperately needed...
Answers.
I'm now armed with a God-given dream. What happens and how we get to where I need to be I don't know. There will be waiting. There will be rain. Most likely there will be a great amount of pain. I don't need to look for something else because there isn't something else. Not for me. And a timetable which I'm hopeful is subject to change. But that's up to God and in His time, this plan will unfold. I have a goal. I have a dream.
I have hope.
And answers. Which were a gift from God.
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