Spoiled Rotten

One thing I never got over from being a kid.  I never learned how to order chinese food properly.

When I was little, this was chinese food:

A container of sweet and sour spare ribs
A container of ham fried rice
A container of chicken chow mein--with crunchy noodles
A container of ham fried rice
A container of egg foo yung
A container of fried shrimp

That to me was how you ordered chinese food.  Until some friends of mine made me understand you order the dinner, or your order the combo.

When you got sweet and sour from the Oriental you got little bites of meat on the bone still, and there were chunks of pineapple and green pepper in the sauce.  They didn't mess around.  And there was nice layer of grease that separated from the sauce when the leftovers were refrigerated.  The sauce used to kind of congeal like jello when cold.  It was so good!

There is one place in Salt Lake that you can still find sweet and sour spare ribs:  The Kowloon which is in West Valley.  Not my favorite place, by the way, but they've been in WVC since it was called Granger.  They used to be by Plaza Billiards on Redwood Road and 35th South; on the corner.  We got food there with my aunt once.  My mom was not a fan.  We didn't go there again.  That was when I was introduced to sub-gum chow mein.  I still can't tell you the difference.  The Kowloon is still around, but not in the same building they used to be in.  They moved because of road construction.

Chinese food at my house came from the kitchen of the Oriental Cafe.  Mine literally came out of the back door of the joint.  It used to be on 4th South between State and Main.  Never once did I set foot in the place.  We went down the street, pulled in the alley, and the next thing I know, there are two large paper grocery bags full of food.  They had a screen door on the joint.  I remember that.  Nobody knocked.  Just walked in and walked out with food.  I thought that was just how it was done.

And then the joint burned down.

So much for that.

I like chinese so I kept on looking for a replacement.  I used to frequent the Golden Dragon on Main Street.  They were good, but not as good.  And no sweet and sour spare ribs.  That's when I learned about sweet and sour other things.  They called it pork and who am I to say they're lying.

I was in NYC in the 80's when there were a lot of chinese restaurants closed down for serving alley cat.  I'm pretty certain that at some point in my life, I've had sweet and sour alley cat.  Or cat chow mein.

Pretty certain, but not 100%.  It's my story, though and I can tell it any way I like.  I prefer tongue-in-cheek.

The Golden Dragon was all right.  Not great, but all right.  And then it wasn't.  Time to find other places.  Which I did.  The Golden Dragon has changed hands a few times.  The King Joy on Main Street was another favorite of mine until it closed in 1991.   I remember a place in Sugarhouse that was good too, but it's not there anymore either.  I can't remember the name but it was close to where Southeast Furniture was.  The Hawaiian on Highland Drive was also good.

Also gone.

Chinese comes differently now.  These days, it's the #1 (chicken of course), with egg drop soup.  The dinner combo comes with enough ham fried rice for two people.  You get egg roll and fried won-ton too.  Gone are the days of the buffet.

Meh.

The food is good.  But they don't have egg foo yung.  The Wing-wah has the best egg fu I've ever eaten.  They're awful proud of it though.  And you only get two.  The ABC Mandarin in Roy has good sweet and sour.  But too far to drive.  So the little place on Harrison is a fine choice for what chinese food has become.

I'm on steroids for my back.  The four day megadose.  I want to eat a water buffalo...deep fried...and with sweet and sour sauce.  I'm hungry.  I want sweet and sour spare ribs.

But I'm in no condition to drive two hours to get them.

But thinking about it has been fun.





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