we see what we want

My pastor and I had a brief discussion on Wednesday about the evil one and how Satan uses our past to try and hold us back from a future that God wants us to have.  I think that's true in that sometimes the thought runs through our heads that tell us we're never good enough to find forgiveness from God.  But I think that he can use our past to define us to others, too.

I found that out yesterday.  I'd had a brief conversation on Tuesday with someone who's favorite person, quite frankly, I'm not.  That person said some things about me that used to be true.  In an attempt to cast a different light on the subject, I reminded the person of a couple of instances, which I thought, demonstrated otherwise.

But it's tough to look at yourself in how others see you.  I don't see the things the person shared with me in myself anymore.  I know I'm capable of those things, but I don't, for the most part, act that way anymore.  The whole incident made me reflect on that this morning, the whole looking at myself the way someone else sees me.  And I found it interesting that had I taken the viewpoint of "this person really sees me this way", I think I'd have chosen different words than responding from the viewpoint of "I'm not that way anymore, and here's why..."

My mother-in-law is a very wise woman.  She really helped me to see that last night.  I was sharing with her about the situation.  She saw part of it, and I showed her what I saw of it.  And through talking about it, I came to that realization.  You can learn a lot when you listen, instead of talk.

So how would I respond to anyone who would say this or that about me when I don't see those things in myself.  Instead of ten paragraphs, I think I would try this approach.

You know, I know I used to be that way and I'm really trying to change XYZ and be a better person.  Is there something I can do or show you that would help to convince you that I recognize my shortcomings and I'm trying to fix them?

I try very hard to not be who I used to be  Sometimes I fail.  Sometimes, I need to try harder.  Other times, I get something right.  It's part of life.  And I'm thankful for the life I have.  it's not always easy, but even in the failures and the hard moments, God always finds a way to show me something.  I can't let the devil define who I am by who I used to be before I was saved by grace.

I hope that if you're reading this, you won't either.