I get to
Attitude is everything and mine the last little bit has been kinda not where I'd like it to be. Mostly because I get frustrated when I think I should see things happening that don't.
It's tough. And I get to do some tough things; mostly because I was stupid previously, but sometimes I wonder if it's more than that. Sometimes I think I get beat up with things for reasons I will never understand.
I also know that spiritual warfare is a real thing and that because I get to do some things to help the Kingdom that the enemy is gonna fight back. I see this happening whenever it's my turn to lead chapel or offer a message at church. The few days before are unusually difficult days and it's little things one after the other. It happens far too often for it to be happenstance, which I don't believe in.
I get to go through those things because of the things I get to do. Notice I didn't say "have to do", but "get to do". I get to do things a lot of people don't get to do, and I get to experience the Bible in ways that are unusual. I asked my pastor friend once if my walk was "normal". His reply was an emphatic and heartfelt "no".
I was thinking about something last night. I have a ton invested in repairing a relationship that I broke. I came to the realization that it's just at a point where there isn't another thing I can say or do that will change the way things are. I want them to change desperately. But I'm not the one that can change things. I know I got led to do what I've done to change things, and with each thing I got to do to fix it, I had an expectation that God would work and things would change back to what I hope and pray are the way He wants them to be.
I got asked this question: Would I have done those things even if I knew things wouldn't change and the answer was this:
Yes.
But I pray with expectation. I talked to a guy at work about that the other day. I have expectations that if God is leading me, then things will work out. And if they don't; well, who do I have to blame but me?
I was thinking about something else this morning, before I found the grey hair on the pillow. I had some crazy dreams last night that left me honestly more tired than I was when I went to bed. It was like a parade of things to get me to veer off course, to kind of go back to things I decided to get into agreement with God about not being the best choices. Each one was passed up on in the dreams, but I'm worn out.
The thing I was thinking about was this: with all the things I get to do, with the way I live my life these days and the people I get to witness to, I started thinking about all the damage that the enemy could do if I were to backslide.
I've never really thought of that before as applying to yours truly, but the more I get to do, the more damage is likely to be done if I were to fall backward. That's a whole brand new bunch of responsibility that I get to think about these days. To me it's extra incentive.
I also see why it's so important to know Scripture and follow Jesus' example of using it to combat the evil one. For each thing I've faced lately, there's been Scripture to use to keep me on the right path. I'm grateful for that.
And the grey hair: I can kinda see them sometimes if the light is right in my hair, but today's the first actual one I know I've had. I found it on the pillow, and there was no doubt about what it was or where it came from. I'm getting older. I feel it everywhere but in my head. In there, I'm still bulletproof.
And subject to doing stupid stuff. But God gives wisdom and the Spirit guides and guards. My life is abundant, not boring, and I'm not where I'd like to be for a minute, but I am where I should be. And I get to experience God in some pretty spectacular ways.
I GET to.
It's tough. And I get to do some tough things; mostly because I was stupid previously, but sometimes I wonder if it's more than that. Sometimes I think I get beat up with things for reasons I will never understand.
I also know that spiritual warfare is a real thing and that because I get to do some things to help the Kingdom that the enemy is gonna fight back. I see this happening whenever it's my turn to lead chapel or offer a message at church. The few days before are unusually difficult days and it's little things one after the other. It happens far too often for it to be happenstance, which I don't believe in.
I get to go through those things because of the things I get to do. Notice I didn't say "have to do", but "get to do". I get to do things a lot of people don't get to do, and I get to experience the Bible in ways that are unusual. I asked my pastor friend once if my walk was "normal". His reply was an emphatic and heartfelt "no".
I was thinking about something last night. I have a ton invested in repairing a relationship that I broke. I came to the realization that it's just at a point where there isn't another thing I can say or do that will change the way things are. I want them to change desperately. But I'm not the one that can change things. I know I got led to do what I've done to change things, and with each thing I got to do to fix it, I had an expectation that God would work and things would change back to what I hope and pray are the way He wants them to be.
I got asked this question: Would I have done those things even if I knew things wouldn't change and the answer was this:
Yes.
But I pray with expectation. I talked to a guy at work about that the other day. I have expectations that if God is leading me, then things will work out. And if they don't; well, who do I have to blame but me?
I was thinking about something else this morning, before I found the grey hair on the pillow. I had some crazy dreams last night that left me honestly more tired than I was when I went to bed. It was like a parade of things to get me to veer off course, to kind of go back to things I decided to get into agreement with God about not being the best choices. Each one was passed up on in the dreams, but I'm worn out.
The thing I was thinking about was this: with all the things I get to do, with the way I live my life these days and the people I get to witness to, I started thinking about all the damage that the enemy could do if I were to backslide.
I've never really thought of that before as applying to yours truly, but the more I get to do, the more damage is likely to be done if I were to fall backward. That's a whole brand new bunch of responsibility that I get to think about these days. To me it's extra incentive.
I also see why it's so important to know Scripture and follow Jesus' example of using it to combat the evil one. For each thing I've faced lately, there's been Scripture to use to keep me on the right path. I'm grateful for that.
And the grey hair: I can kinda see them sometimes if the light is right in my hair, but today's the first actual one I know I've had. I found it on the pillow, and there was no doubt about what it was or where it came from. I'm getting older. I feel it everywhere but in my head. In there, I'm still bulletproof.
And subject to doing stupid stuff. But God gives wisdom and the Spirit guides and guards. My life is abundant, not boring, and I'm not where I'd like to be for a minute, but I am where I should be. And I get to experience God in some pretty spectacular ways.
I GET to.
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