The power

I've always wondered what pastors were talking about when they talk about the power Christians have.   I think I found out over the weekend.  It's the power of the word, "no".

I had a chance to say yes to a lot of things that in the past I would have said yes to.  And I didn't get the power to say no on my own.  It came with a lot of scrapes and bruises over the last three years.  I didn't do this on my own... I had help.

It's the whole power of the Holy Spirit thing.  And it's pretty cool that things that used to master me, I now have the power over.  God's pretty good!  And I'm so thankful.

I have to tell y'all that this is a pretty transforming thing that I didn't see coming.  For the last couple of weeks, I've been asking God to give me more faith because it's kind of hard to keep trusting when you don't know where you're going.  It didn't help that I'm physically weak from being ill all week and just feeling a bit old and alone.

Alone.

Alone has no power over me anymore.  It's not my master anymore.  I don't fear it anymore.  So, I'm alone.  I have Bucket and the immigrant from time to time.  I'm not alone-alone like I was a few weeks ago.  And I realize it's a choice, sort of.

I'm pretty happy today, despite the ongoing malady.  I have an appointment with an -ist.  I got a pamphlet on Thursday and the referral to the urologist today.  Nothing serious, but it's something that's wrong.  Go figure.

As for the other stuff, I'd elaborate, but my mom reads this thing.  It was nobody from my past, though, either.  And as for doing anything I shouldn't... I didn't.  I said no.

Which made for an awkward moment or two.  But rather that moment or two than having to feel that empty feeling.  The funny thing about the whole thing was it was like it wasn't even me saying the words.  Don't get me wrong, part of me wanted to, but I just couldn't.

That's a test I hope I passed.

Anyway, out of the frying pan and into the fire?  One of the nurses at the clinic has the same name as a friend of mine in Wyoming who shall remain nameless.  Another one who was the nurse on duty today and my friend from Wyoming could be sisters.  The one was writing me a note for work and the Dr. mentioned she'd have the first one call me tomorrow to set up the urologist appointment.

What does that mean?  Absolutely nothing!  That's one of them there things that I don't think means anything.  Not everything does.  It's all there to be seen, to be sure, but that one was just odd for today.

So no, not into the fire.

I am so at peace today.  You have no idea how liberating being able to say no to something was, and I do know it wasn't me.  It was God helping me and I understand better what it means to show Jesus you love Him by following His commandments.

Praise God for the strength and wisdom!  As bad as I feel physically, today, I'm just so thankful to have that monkey off my back.

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