Just stuff for a Friday
I think you come to the realization that God is a lot bigger than your problems the moment you are just having a crappy day and still you find joy in your soul when a lot of you just wants to throw in the towel.
I had a night like that last night. Nothing went right but there was an answered prayer. Sometimes answers, even when they're the ones we don't want are blessings. I got some of that last night; enough to know that praying and waiting were good ideas.
When I went to bed, I just said my prayers, gave thanks, and felt joy and sorrow at the same time. Sometimes this little life of mine hurts. It seems like it's been doing a lot of that lately.
That's a lot of why I'm not in a real big hurry to start dating again. I've dated two women in last 4 years. The only way I can describe the experience is that it was like dating the polar opposites of the same woman. They were in so many ways, two sides of the same coin.
I have been trying for two months; unsuccessfully, by the way, to return to the ex some things that remain here in the house and to settle up one little insignificant financial matter that's bugging me. She got it all once then slowly, some of it migrated back here. I'd like it gone. It's not my stuff. But here it sits and for the life of me, I can't figure out why..... it's not my stuff and I don't have any designs on it.
I want nothing that does not belong to me.
I had two integrity quizzes in the last day. My son can't be on my insurance anymore because he got married and rather than pretend that didn't happen, he's just not on my insurance anymore. He didn't ask to pretend and I didn't offer. I'm damn proud of the man my son is, despite his father. I love all my kids. I miss them.
This morning, I had to buy some more internets at the Smith's. They give 4 times reward points on cards like this, so I buy them there when I can. The internets is another story entirely. Maybe later, but not now. But I got three cents more in the cup than the change I was entitled to. I think it was just left over and my first thought (on five hours' sleep) was three pennies for the missionary jar. But before I got to the door, I changed that thought to "hey, that's not mine and that's stealing." As I went to return the change, the manager that rang me up real quick was just behind me. As I turned to speak to her, I dropped a penny. I picked it up, looked at her and told her the machine gave me too much change. She looked at me like I was a space alien, took the three pennies and said thank you.
My integrity is worth more than three cents but how easy are traps like that to fall into? You're tired and in a hurry and your guard is down just for a second and then, bam, the Evil One has something to accuse you of. That test probably rated a C because I didn't leave the store, but I didn't have the best of first thoughts. You have to be aware, 24/7/365.
Well, I have to go to work now.
Have a blessed Friday!
I had a night like that last night. Nothing went right but there was an answered prayer. Sometimes answers, even when they're the ones we don't want are blessings. I got some of that last night; enough to know that praying and waiting were good ideas.
When I went to bed, I just said my prayers, gave thanks, and felt joy and sorrow at the same time. Sometimes this little life of mine hurts. It seems like it's been doing a lot of that lately.
That's a lot of why I'm not in a real big hurry to start dating again. I've dated two women in last 4 years. The only way I can describe the experience is that it was like dating the polar opposites of the same woman. They were in so many ways, two sides of the same coin.
I have been trying for two months; unsuccessfully, by the way, to return to the ex some things that remain here in the house and to settle up one little insignificant financial matter that's bugging me. She got it all once then slowly, some of it migrated back here. I'd like it gone. It's not my stuff. But here it sits and for the life of me, I can't figure out why..... it's not my stuff and I don't have any designs on it.
I want nothing that does not belong to me.
I had two integrity quizzes in the last day. My son can't be on my insurance anymore because he got married and rather than pretend that didn't happen, he's just not on my insurance anymore. He didn't ask to pretend and I didn't offer. I'm damn proud of the man my son is, despite his father. I love all my kids. I miss them.
This morning, I had to buy some more internets at the Smith's. They give 4 times reward points on cards like this, so I buy them there when I can. The internets is another story entirely. Maybe later, but not now. But I got three cents more in the cup than the change I was entitled to. I think it was just left over and my first thought (on five hours' sleep) was three pennies for the missionary jar. But before I got to the door, I changed that thought to "hey, that's not mine and that's stealing." As I went to return the change, the manager that rang me up real quick was just behind me. As I turned to speak to her, I dropped a penny. I picked it up, looked at her and told her the machine gave me too much change. She looked at me like I was a space alien, took the three pennies and said thank you.
My integrity is worth more than three cents but how easy are traps like that to fall into? You're tired and in a hurry and your guard is down just for a second and then, bam, the Evil One has something to accuse you of. That test probably rated a C because I didn't leave the store, but I didn't have the best of first thoughts. You have to be aware, 24/7/365.
Well, I have to go to work now.
Have a blessed Friday!
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