I hate pop quizzes
I was invited to a party last night. It's a birthday party for a good friend's wife. It's also an 80's themed party.
I want to go. Not because I want to try to recoup some past high school glory; there isn't anything I left in high school I want back.
Nothing.
But still, someone thought enough of me to ask me to attend a celebration for a milestone in their lives and I want to go. I really do. And I asked the one person I wanted most to go with me to go, knowing full well what the answer would be.
But it's always nice to ask. She's also a child of the 80's; can rock the big hair (I actually gave her a can of Aqua Net in her Christmas stocking last Christmas); likes the classic rock, and we'd have a great time together. The problem is that we're not together. For all that we are, what we are mostly is this:
Apart.
And that hurts because I don't honestly think we're supposed to be.
What started out as an invitation to a party turned into a test; a pop quiz with one simple question.
Do I REALLY believe what I just told you two sentences ago?
I had time to think about that as I strolled around the duck pond yesterday afternoon. My answer is yes. And in that yes, I had to be honest with myself. And with God.
If you read the fourth paragraph carefully, you'll note that I said "most wanted to go with". That's a truth. I could ask someone else. I have two people in mind. But I also know that while they're "in mind', there's no way I'm gonna do anything about that. I think it's part of fighting with the old me; always wanting some sort of plan B. But then....Jesus.
I didn't get where I'm at on my own, and when it comes to her, I'm where I was led. I was reminded in church on Sunday that even when Jesus was forsaken by His Father and hanging on the cross, He was right center in the middle of God's will for Him. And that's where I'm at too.
It's nice to think that someone might be interested in you. But when you're single, how do you explain the things that don't make sense? Often times, I can't. But I also know (and I can't even explain how I know, save to say that when I even think about going down another path, BAD things happen!) that I made the right choice and used words that God gave to me on the walk.
I hate the circumstances I find myself in, but I also know that if they don't change, what will change is me. So why fight it?
Anyway, back to the test. I was told to ask someone else and to stop putting my life on hold for her.
And that's the test: Do I believe this is all God's plan for my life? Do I REALLY believe it? Well, I do.
So I told her so, and that I'd wait, and that I followed God and I'll trust him for the outcome. And then not one minute after texting her these things at 20 minutes after midnight this morning, my test got graded.
If you're reading this, you can look at my Facebook page. I leave it public because I live a very benign life for the most part, and that sometimes it's central to the story I'm telling, and so that she can see what I'm up to because we're not Facebook friends. You'd see a link to today's Our Daily Bread devotional. I don't have a paper copy so I can't read ahead. And you'd see today's devotional is all about what I told her not one minute before I read it. It was the first thing I saw when I looked at Facebook right after I texted her.
So, if I go to the party, it'll either be with my Who, or with just me. There isn't a third option for me right now. I can't say for sure how things will work out. I'm thinking they will. But not today. What I do know is that where I'm at is right where I'm supposed to be.
And for once, I passed the test.
I leave you today with a verse I read while preparing for Bible study at the Rescue Mission tomorrow:
Romans 13:14 Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.
Just in case I was thinking about plan B
I want to go. Not because I want to try to recoup some past high school glory; there isn't anything I left in high school I want back.
Nothing.
But still, someone thought enough of me to ask me to attend a celebration for a milestone in their lives and I want to go. I really do. And I asked the one person I wanted most to go with me to go, knowing full well what the answer would be.
But it's always nice to ask. She's also a child of the 80's; can rock the big hair (I actually gave her a can of Aqua Net in her Christmas stocking last Christmas); likes the classic rock, and we'd have a great time together. The problem is that we're not together. For all that we are, what we are mostly is this:
Apart.
And that hurts because I don't honestly think we're supposed to be.
What started out as an invitation to a party turned into a test; a pop quiz with one simple question.
Do I REALLY believe what I just told you two sentences ago?
I had time to think about that as I strolled around the duck pond yesterday afternoon. My answer is yes. And in that yes, I had to be honest with myself. And with God.
If you read the fourth paragraph carefully, you'll note that I said "most wanted to go with". That's a truth. I could ask someone else. I have two people in mind. But I also know that while they're "in mind', there's no way I'm gonna do anything about that. I think it's part of fighting with the old me; always wanting some sort of plan B. But then....Jesus.
I didn't get where I'm at on my own, and when it comes to her, I'm where I was led. I was reminded in church on Sunday that even when Jesus was forsaken by His Father and hanging on the cross, He was right center in the middle of God's will for Him. And that's where I'm at too.
It's nice to think that someone might be interested in you. But when you're single, how do you explain the things that don't make sense? Often times, I can't. But I also know (and I can't even explain how I know, save to say that when I even think about going down another path, BAD things happen!) that I made the right choice and used words that God gave to me on the walk.
I hate the circumstances I find myself in, but I also know that if they don't change, what will change is me. So why fight it?
Anyway, back to the test. I was told to ask someone else and to stop putting my life on hold for her.
And that's the test: Do I believe this is all God's plan for my life? Do I REALLY believe it? Well, I do.
So I told her so, and that I'd wait, and that I followed God and I'll trust him for the outcome. And then not one minute after texting her these things at 20 minutes after midnight this morning, my test got graded.
If you're reading this, you can look at my Facebook page. I leave it public because I live a very benign life for the most part, and that sometimes it's central to the story I'm telling, and so that she can see what I'm up to because we're not Facebook friends. You'd see a link to today's Our Daily Bread devotional. I don't have a paper copy so I can't read ahead. And you'd see today's devotional is all about what I told her not one minute before I read it. It was the first thing I saw when I looked at Facebook right after I texted her.
So, if I go to the party, it'll either be with my Who, or with just me. There isn't a third option for me right now. I can't say for sure how things will work out. I'm thinking they will. But not today. What I do know is that where I'm at is right where I'm supposed to be.
And for once, I passed the test.
I leave you today with a verse I read while preparing for Bible study at the Rescue Mission tomorrow:
Romans 13:14 Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.
Just in case I was thinking about plan B
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