Stories and other stuff

I don't write much these days.  It's not for a lack of things to say, I suppose, but the things I'm going through these days just seem to be intensely personal. I told God a couple of months ago that I didn't want to go around the mountain again.  I meant that.  It seems that in the late summer, things always kind of wind up at the same starting point.  I talked with God about it and told Him that I agreed on the path He wants and I didn't want to go around the mountain.  I think he obliged me. And is now leading me through the fire. I have heard 3 different men, guests to our fair city, brought here to minister to those in attendance, speak on Daniel Chapter 3.  Each had their own take on the passage.  Each spoke to a portion of my journey.  You should read the chapter and see what it says to you. But through the fire.  Not around the mountain.  Not moving the mountain.  Not having Jesus get in the boat and calm the storm, ...

Who are we? This is not the message I had intended to share with all y’all.   Our pastor changed my plan two Sundays ago when he asked, and then answered the question:   Why, God? Two weeks ago from the pulpit our pastor answered that question:   “BECAUSE!” Well, so much for what I wanted to talk about.   So let’s go where God is leading. A couple of weeks ago, some of us were blessed with being able to hear some speakers talk about some of the stuff Christian men are facing these days and how to cope with it.   One speaker in particular left a lasting impression on me.   His name is Otto Kelly and he runs a Crisis Pregnancy Care center in Reno, Nevada.   That’s a tough gig.   But he had tougher stories to tell about where God had taken him.   He described some of the other ministries his church performs, like just showing up outside of night clubs in Reno and just standing there.   Just being outs...

OK, so I don't write much anymore.  Today, hopefully, will be the start of a change in that.  I miss it.  I miss out on documenting some of the things that happen to me, and I think that's a dumb idea that I don't.  I haven't been blogging.  I don't keep a journal anymore because I got disappointed.  I thought something was going to happen in February that didn't.  I thought that something was going to happen two weeks ago that didn't.  It was the same something, and honestly, sometimes I'm left with this question: Why, God? Some people I know are grappling with that question this morning.  Some fellow Guardsmen lost a son.  I'm grieving for them. I think it's important to keep their family in prayer this week.  They need God to show up in the midst of their grief. I had planned on giving a message at church this Sunday titled, "Why, God?"  I had it all mapped out in my head and at the end we were going to change the ques...

I'm gonna share a video with all y'all at the end of this.  It's not a happy one.  It's not a hand-clapper, feel good Christian song. It's anything but.  It's dark, it's raw, and it's honest. And it's sometimes where we find ourselves as human beings, and as Christians. My pastor referred to it as being stuck someplace between Good Friday and Easter Sunday; "stuck in Saturday" is how he put it this morning. I am.  I'm stuck in Saturday, but not because I want to be.  I am, however right where God put me and I'm here because it's necessary. I went shopping this morning before church.  I needed a couple of things for the house, and on the way I was telling God that I wasn't trying to fill that empty spot.  And then I was asking Him to help me not fill that empty spot.  The spot is empty because God wants it empty.  I got reminded of that about two minutes into the service.  Sometimes I think Karl has a direct line into...

I read a devotional or two every day.  In fact, one I was reading was on the radio at the exact time I was reading the scripture they cited.  I read it as it was read over the radio, word for word. Having devotions is a good thing.  For those that don't know, they're small stories, usually with a practical application of the Scripture they cite.  I also like writing them, too.  But.... My life sometimes is the devotional. God always is good to me and sometimes these devotionals really help grow my faith.  Sometimes they remind me of what God has done for others which gives me hope that God will also do for me. Sometimes, they remind me that even when God doesn't, that He is still good (ALL the time) and worthy of praise. Sometimes God tells me what He is going to do before He does it.  He's also good like that.  Lately, what He has been telling me is to "Let Go", while reminding me that letting go is not the same thing as giving up....

I enjoy hot dogs.  Sadly, I cannot eat the 99¢ a pack hot dogs that I used to.  I get gout and the nitrates in the hot dogs are just too much for the machine to process anymore.  Sausages, for some reason don't cause the problems hot dogs do.  Because of this, I have to be cautious about selecting what kind of hot dogs I can eat these days. I wanted to go to the Weber State game last Saturday.  Something just kinda told me I ought not go.  Listen, I struggle with this whole alone thing but God has a plan for me.  What that is, I will elaborate on at the end of the post, but back to the story.  I was loafing on the sofa watching football on TV and I just kinda felt compelled to start figuring out what for diner.  I had every intention when I left the house to BBQ steaks, have a baked potato and corn with it.  I hate living alone.  It's so hard to cook.  But the idea changed in the parking lot of the Smith's.  Get hot dogs...

Been a busy week.  Lots happened so here's the recap: I think I told the story of my washing machine.  If not, my roomie tells me he's gonna give me a washing machine.  I pray that nothing will happen to my washing machine until that happens.  30 minutes later washer dies.  I'm broke.  We're without a washing machine.  Miss June does mine by hand (explain to her they have these things called laundromats).  Ask God about replacing said washing machine and He tells me to wait.  Roomie tells me that the one he was going to give me wasn't given to him, so I get an idea that I ought to try and JB weld the pump impeller back on the shaft.  It works, but not as good so you can only do small loads.  I couldn't fix it until I found out the plan had changed, for some reason. Sunday before last, at church, roomie asks if I have a washer yet.  Can't lie.  Told him I was able to get the thing working, but again, not well and only f...

Today's Bible study class was good.  We talked about Romans 14 and 15, where Paul talks about how mature believers should handle situations with those not as mature in their faith.  Paul also makes some comments about his future plans to visit Rome in the future.  Remember that Romans is one of the letters Paul wrote to the many churches. Afterward, as sometimes happens, I was asked a question that until Monday, I don't think I was fully equipped to answer. "What do you do when you want to quit?" First off, there's no going back for me, but lately, a lot of the things I used to want to do have been coming to mind.  And not for one minute am I going to pretend I like, let alone understand where God has me going.  I am on board, though. So, God being Good!, well, He prepared me with the answer from the story of the church at Ephesis found in Revelation 2, which I shared with the guy who asked me the question. At the end, Jesus says that if we endure, we ...

I got yelled at today by a stranger.  Over the internet.  And the stranger had no idea I was one of the people God was having her yell at. I have to say straight up I don't see a way forward in where I think I'm supposed to be going.  So much so, I seriously started taking down the things in the house I'd left up in hope of a different outcome. It's been that kind of a day, but God, in His way, kind of let me know some things about me. One of them is this: I always want to re-write the story. To a certain extent, I suppose that's true.  I always want to have things be better than they are.  If I had my choice, maybe I wouldn't pick the path I'm on.  Because in a way, it's re-writing the ending of a story I was OK with the ending of in the first place. Here's what I mean though about re-writing the ending. I have Tami Jo's cat in my house.  She's a psycho cat and she needs a home where she would be the only pet in it.  She doesn...

I'm just telling a story. But it really happened like this. I got fired again from Cindy.  That was Sunday night and the thought that went through my head was a quote from Albert Einstein that says something to the effect the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I wonder today if that equally applies to yours truly, but yours truly decided to do something different this time. There are things I've accumulated along the way in regard to Cindy.  Heck, I have a houseful of accumulated things from my last 3 relationships.  I have (because of the Old Lady) stuff of Wendi's.  I have Tami Jo's cat.  Why?  Old Lady. And there are things I bought for Cindy here and there when I thought things would work out.  I decided to get rid of those things yesterday.  June was gonna take them someplace today.  Hey, I can take a hint. So, I went to work for a while.  And when I pulled into...

For Christmas in 2009, I received a coffee cup with a picture of Charlie Brown pitching and the words "Curve Ball" inscribed on the cup. It would be a forerunner to what my life would look like in six weeks; job gone for the worst job in aviation, wife gone for another, business gone.  The only thing I had left was the house.  I'd lost everything, but a few weeks later, I'd be found by Jesus.  I had to lose my life to find it. Interesting concept.  But the words "curve ball" kind of seemed to me to be a foreboding warning of things coming out of left field.  The cup cracked and I don't know if I still have it or not, but the warning kind of stuck with me and when I think of those words, it brings a little anxiety to life. I saw those words again on a license plate at the Smith's on Saturday afternoon.  Saturday evening, I ran into Wendi in my driveway.  I hate that just for this reason:  She'd picked June up for the first time in I don'...

I drive a 1997 Ford F250.  A heavy duty Ford F250; so says the placard on either side of the front fender.  Those words kind of gripped me this morning when I pulled into the driveway after Bible study. Sometimes the path I walk seems to be more than I can bear.  Today is one of those days.  Notice I didn't say was... it still is. But there's a reason for the season of life I'm in and it's making me stronger; physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. A Ford F250 Heavy Duty is kind of an unusual pickup truck.  They were made at the end of the production run for that particular body style and were kind of engineered around a plethora of spare parts Ford found themselves with.  They put the trucks together with this and that from parts that normally went on other models and called them "heavy duty".  Mine has a camper package on it which means there's an extra leaf in the leaf springs on the rear and different shocks. It's made Ford toug...

I was invited to a party last night.  It's a birthday party for a good friend's wife.  It's also an 80's themed party. I want to go.  Not because I want to try to recoup some past high school glory; there isn't anything I left in high school I want back. Nothing. But still, someone thought enough of me to ask me to attend a celebration for a milestone in their lives and I want to go.  I really do.  And I asked the one person I wanted most to go with me to go, knowing full well what the answer would be. But it's always nice to ask.  She's also a child of the 80's; can rock the big hair (I actually gave her a can of Aqua Net in her Christmas stocking last Christmas); likes the classic rock, and we'd have a great time together.  The problem is that we're not together.  For all that we are, what we are mostly is this: Apart. And that hurts because I don't honestly think we're supposed to be. What started out as an invitation to ...

I haven't been posting much and here's why:  Computer issues. It's not that I don't have tons going on in my life; I do.  Lots of things changing at Lark Circle these days...and mostly me.  But we'll get to that.  Today's post is about computer issues and an answer to prayer. I bought a Macbook laptop in 2007. I'm wiring on it tonight, but for the last few months, I haven't been able to use my internet browser (Safari) to post blogs.  Something was awry.  I also couldn't use it to update a website I take care of. What I thought I needed was a new computer, so I started praying and asked the ministry guys to also pray that God would provide.  My prayer was a little different though; more along the lines of God, if you want me to continue to do this work, then will you provide a new computer, or at the very least, would you help me understand how I can make what I have work?  I tried several different ways of trying how to figure out how to ...

You know the story.  Abraham is promised a child by Sarah.  She's old, way past child bearing years.  They take matters into their own hands.  Abraham has a child with Sarah's handmaiden, Hagar named Ishmael.  Bad things happen.  And then God ultimately makes good on His promise and Isaac is born. God's plans can't be thwarted. Bucket is my dog.  He's not always been my dog, but long before I knew God as I do these days, something told me to spend the last $136 I had to my name to adopt him.  He's run away several times; he's friendly and curious.  I gave him to the ex-wife, who gave him to her dad, who gave him back to me, so he's been on two road trips....one to Indiana, one home from Indiana. Bucket is my dog, because he's supposed to be my dog.  No matter what has happened, Bucket has been from the time I adopted him, my dog. He ate a hole in my brand new bedspread and I wanted to murder him, but he's still my dog.  Alwa...

A week ago, we were very blessed to have a missionary, the Rev. Katie Longkumer, deliver a message to us at church.  She and her husband, the Rev. Taku Longkumer, are missionaries (not called that anymore, there's a different term used these days for their safety, something like development coordinator or something...I forget) but they're working in India and the church there is seeing some serious growth.  I think that's a great thing...especially in a part of the world where you can't just throw up a church building on every corner.  I listened intently (as much as I could....these six day weeks are killing me) as she explained what they do, where their area they work in is, and the progress and difficulties they see and face.  It was interesting, so much so that I decided that I need to help support them. Well, pretty sure the Holy Spirit had something to do with that, but it's one of the things that's a core belief of our church that we send and support ...

For background, here's what I know about angels: They exist. And I'm not really sure, but I think I may have just met one.  It's not out of the realm of impossibility is what I'm saying. And without bending or twisting Scripture, I want to share this story with you. I'm off today.  I need to be, for a plethora of reasons, not the least of which is that I'm freaking exhausted.  My life is hard for me and I have the strength of ten grinches plus two.  The intended reason for being off tonight fell through, but it could be that I just needed to be off and I'm too stubborn to know when enough is enough, so the circumstances of my day unfolded as such that I am off, albeit not for the initial reason. I was going to go to work, be an hour late, when things changed and my evening wasn't going to go as planned, but in looking at how the day unfolded, it may be that off is exactly what the original intent was.  Even in that, though, God answered a prayer ...

I posted some pictures on Facebook of the sitting room I put together for the future.  I read something about leaning hard into your future so I did.  I'm trusting God to not let me tip over. I have had two beers.  I am working on number three.  It's been that kind of a weekend.  Having beers is not a habit I plan to return to anytime soon, but I enjoy a cold one while working in the yard and I worked in the yard today.  I will be working in the yard for the next several months.  The yard is still winning. I did manage to get peas, potatoes, and carrots planted.  Will they grow?  We'll see.  We had the seeds.  They are leftovers from whenever.  We'll try them and see what grows or doesn't.  We're really scaling back on the garden this year, mostly because the yard is still winning.  Not next year, though.  Next year, there will be grow boxes and brand new dirt.  And grass.  Lots and lots of grass....