There's no such thing as coincidence

I talked about it being a weird week all week, both on the blog and my facebook page.  I finally figured out at about 5:00 a.m. what all the weird was about.

I was sleeping soundly and woke up in a start.  That little inner voice we all have told me to look at something online.  I thought the request was odd, but hey, I just go with things these days.  I looked at what I felt I was supposed to and asked some questions of someone about it all.

Needless to say, it's been an interesting morning and I learned a lot about myself.  What did I learn?  I really have changed quite a bit.  Old me would have flipped out, made assumptions, accusations, and basically told someone to to quite frankly "go to hell".  I had every reason to do this, but instead, I chose to remain calm, ask some questions, and go from there.  It's funny as in ironic funny that I can see the changes in me but the person I was dealing with, for some reason, can't.

For once, though, I think I handled myself as a grown-up.  I didn't get angry, call anyone names, nor say anything this morning I would regret later.  I saw the situation for what it was, well, at least my take on it anyway.  I had little to ask forgiveness for this morning but I did break down and buy a pack of cigarettes.  I'm a bit disappointed in myself for that.  I made it four whole days!  The drama will subside and things will fall as they're supposed to.  That's living by faith.

Another thing happened this week:  I let go of my past.  Actually, I did this a while ago.  I just didn't tell anyone until today.  The writing has been on the wall since yesterday morning, for sure, but it started on Tuesday when I woke up and knew something was wrong.  I gave it to God.  He allowed me to know what I needed to and I talked to Him about this on Wednesday.  I told Him I trusted Him and in His perfect plan for me.

That's faith.  Knowing that God has a plan for me and He's working on showing it to me.  If this morning was a test, I'd give myself a good, solid "B".  There's room for improvement and I'll take away from the day some things that will make me a better person.  It's about all I can do and I'm OK with that.

Life goes on.  My life certainly will, one way or the other.  I did my best, fixed what I needed to, and that's all I can do in this situation.

I'm good with that, too.

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