Guilty by association
I find myself guilty!
Of what? Lots of things.
I had to take a quick walk down "nightmare alley". Most have memory lane, but me, I have this never-ending saga that is my life these days. I had to explain to one of my supervisors why I couldn't make some overtime I'd scheduled this week and had to give him an overview of why I was where I was at. He kept asking questions. Now, he has a 50' rule for me. He doesn't want to get whatever's on me, on him. I told him to be careful or I'd spit on him.
The other one was that I had to account for some behavior with the wife from before we got married. She asked me a question I answered honestly on Monday. I didn't remember what she was talking about. The sad thing is that if she asked me that question again, I'd have to give her a different answer. Good thing she doesn't read the blog, huh?
No, I know she sometimes does. I sent her a very honest e-mail. I have to tell you it was hard to face all of this stuff again because I just want to put it behind me. I don't think or act the way I used to and when I look back on that, I'm just disgusted and ashamed of myself. The really frustrating part these days is that even when I'm honest, the Mrs. still thinks I lie to her. At this point, what's the point of lying?
I'm guilty by association. With me. Or I should say, with who I used to be.
So be it. It's like I've said before with forgiveness. Some will, some never will. I can accept that. I did some things I shouldn't have. There's a lot I didn't do, that I get blamed for doing. I tried to use an example of something the wife told me to make a point about why people do certain things, then change. It didn't work out very well. Hey, I'm used to that. One thing, before you try to make a point about something with someone, make sure the other person knows what you're talking about. If you don't, you're wasting your time and the other person will just think you're crazy or stupid or both.
Lesson learned.
Well, that's all for this rainy Wednesday. Life's going to get better. Spring is here and changes are in the air.
Of what? Lots of things.
I had to take a quick walk down "nightmare alley". Most have memory lane, but me, I have this never-ending saga that is my life these days. I had to explain to one of my supervisors why I couldn't make some overtime I'd scheduled this week and had to give him an overview of why I was where I was at. He kept asking questions. Now, he has a 50' rule for me. He doesn't want to get whatever's on me, on him. I told him to be careful or I'd spit on him.
The other one was that I had to account for some behavior with the wife from before we got married. She asked me a question I answered honestly on Monday. I didn't remember what she was talking about. The sad thing is that if she asked me that question again, I'd have to give her a different answer. Good thing she doesn't read the blog, huh?
No, I know she sometimes does. I sent her a very honest e-mail. I have to tell you it was hard to face all of this stuff again because I just want to put it behind me. I don't think or act the way I used to and when I look back on that, I'm just disgusted and ashamed of myself. The really frustrating part these days is that even when I'm honest, the Mrs. still thinks I lie to her. At this point, what's the point of lying?
I'm guilty by association. With me. Or I should say, with who I used to be.
So be it. It's like I've said before with forgiveness. Some will, some never will. I can accept that. I did some things I shouldn't have. There's a lot I didn't do, that I get blamed for doing. I tried to use an example of something the wife told me to make a point about why people do certain things, then change. It didn't work out very well. Hey, I'm used to that. One thing, before you try to make a point about something with someone, make sure the other person knows what you're talking about. If you don't, you're wasting your time and the other person will just think you're crazy or stupid or both.
Lesson learned.
Well, that's all for this rainy Wednesday. Life's going to get better. Spring is here and changes are in the air.
Unfortonately, guilt is a huge thing in many lives. Thank God He forgives! Here is a quote for you. " We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it." The Bible says, 'What happiness for those whose guilt has been forgiven!...What relief for those who have confessed their sins and God has cleared their record."
ReplyDeleteI wholeheartedly agree. Could you do me a favor and quote the verse and the translation of the above scripture? It might help someone else who reads the blog to know. Thank you for the kind words, for sharing, and for reading the blog. Comments are always welcome and more people read the blog when I get them, it seems.
ReplyDeleteThe verse you are asking for was actually taken out of the Living Bibe and I use the New International Version. It states it quite differantly but all means the same.
ReplyDeletePsalm 32:1 "Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered."
I have to make this point also which are in the study notes. It asks...What's good about covering up sin?
We cannot sweep our sins under the rug and think everything is fine because they are hidden. When "God" covers sins, he does away with them completely; he doesn't conceal sins, he eradicates them. The image of covering sin was linked to the blood of the sacrifice that covered one's sin. When God saw the blood, the sins were atoned for.
Hope that helps =)