When it just doesn't make sense....

Over the last year I've found many circumstances that happen in life, and not just to me, that I will never understand.  I can't.  I don't have the capacity to understand why horrible things happen to good people.  I do know that as rough as the last year has been for me, others have been through hell.

I had a chat tonight with a friend of mine who shared a story from a devotional about a crisis of faith.  My friend mentioned that through all the stuff, I hadn't lost my faith, which is true.  In fact, mine is stronger than it's ever been and it grows daily.  Part of that is I can see tangible things that I believe are God working in my life.  A greater part of it is spending time reading the Bible and in prayer often, giving thanks in all circumstances to God and to glorify Him at every opportunity.  It's a lot of the reason I write the blog which I've mentioned before.  I used to do it for me.  It was therapy.  Now I do it in the hope that someone will read something that will help them in their life come closer to God.

I think too, that sometimes things happen for reasons only God understands.  As smart as we are, I don't think we've developed the mental capacity to know what the greater purpose is.  I think too, that obnoxious, stubborn free will that God allows us to have gets in the way, too.  Sometimes we're victims of the choices others make and I think it's hard to see that, too.  We wonder why God allows this or that to happen and I can't speak to that.  I don't understand myself, so how can I explain it?

A crisis of belief is something I'm learning about now in a workbook my pastor thought would help me.  It has.  I haven't quite got to this area yet, except to read about the concept in general.  But I think when the outcome isn't what we want, it's easy not to have faith anymore.  If the outcome isn't what we want in any given circumstance, how easy would it be to walk away from faith?

I think it depends on what you want in life.  I had to re-think this and when I did, I came to realize something.  There are things I have control over.  There are things I don't have control over.  As far as it's in my control, I can make choices in accordance with God's word and His will.  He left it there for us to have.  There are things that are out of my control and I don't worry about them anymore.  The reason why I don't worry about the outcomes of things anymore is because I changed what I want and what I need.

What do I want?  In every circumstance, to serve my Lord.  If I remember that I do things to His glory and not my own, how can I go wrong?