I knew there was more to it than I thought (updated)
First off, I should never try to write this thing when I'm tired. I went through and fixed this mess. The nexus of a decent story was in here someplace but it got lost between the temptation to fall asleep and fighting off Bucket who wanted to play.
So, I wrote this post about being lonely earlier. I am. I admit it. I love my mutts, but as wonderful as they are (thanks Bucky for the doggy slurp), they're not people. I really didn't like most people for the longest time and was content with my little bubble. Not so much anymore and I'm starting to realize that it's not good to isolate yourself from the world.
I had an interesting day yesterday. I kinda think that it was a day filled with one little revelation after another that added up to something at the end. I don't think any of them had anything to do with lonely, but I got to see some very interesting things yesterday, but didn't put them together until I was on my way home.
I went to work yesterday. I've been ill and stayed home the last two days. I started feeling better around about eleven tonight. I think the little fever I had broke and when that happens I usually feel better quickly. Anyway, I don't usually frequent the break room at break time. When I used to smoke, I used to go outside. Now, I just kind of try to take care of things like checking my work e-mail or stuff on the computer during break. But tonight, at last break, I wanted a salty snack. I selected a bag of chips and went looking for a newspaper. We meet in the break room at the start of the shift and there's usually one in there. Not tonight though, but I found a copy of Time magazine.
I hardly ever read Time magazine. I'll bet the last time I picked up a copy was in a doctor's office over a year ago. I was reading about houses in Detroit and how they were talking about tearing vacant homes down and letting the properties go back to seed. As I ate my little bag of chips, I flipped open the copy of Time and found myself confronted with a three page article about how many people in America live alone. By choice.
Good for them.
I don't enjoy it.
But as I said, I might not understand why right now, but I suspect there's something I need to learn by my new found freedom that I don't enjoy. To show you that God can change a man, I'm going to say this. I could be doing anything I want. There's nobody to stop me. I could look at whatever I wanted to on the internet. i could be dating if I chose to be. There are a million things I could be doing... OK let's be honest, a million things I did while I was living with my wife that I don't do now that there's nothing really stopping me from doing them.
Except God.
But that's a blog for another day.
The article was just kind of talking about why people live alone. In cities, there are lots of opportunities to do things. Some folks don't mind doing things alone. I don't even like to eat alone. I hate going to the movies alone. I want to go see the Avengers. Not going to happen unless one of my kids calls me out of the blue. I read the article with interest but with a gentile reminder that even if I wanted to, I couldn't really go out and meet people. I don't drink much anymore so there's no reason to go to the bar. I'm married so there's no point in meeting a woman. Look at what happened when I did that before. I was done. She was done. There were divorce papers and everything.
Except God.
And when He got involved, I got to go to school. Last Memorial Day I learned a very expensive lesson about not taking God's no for an answer. It wasn't my no. It was His, and He meant it.
But that's a blog for another day.
Or not.
Oh yeah, alone. Like I said, I'm alone by circumstances, not by choice. So the article didn't apply other than that little providential thing that kind of told me that I'm in this situation because that's where God wants me to be. I don't believe in coincidences and I'll just take it for what it is and if I read something into it like the Creator of the Universe taking time for one of His children, then good for me. It beats the alternative of being right about this and ignoring it. It's that whole, I was where I normally am not, doing something I normally don't do, and you get the point by now, don't you?
That was the first thing. Of course, thee is more.
I told y'all today about the guy that talks to me at work. Tonight he spoke to me. And not once, not that I heard anyhow, did he take the Lord's name in vain. Praise God! I don't know why but I'm pleased the conversation went that way. Out of all the profanity I hear every day, those two are the ones that really hurt my heart because I don't think folks realize how much they say it or what they're saying when they do. (This is a good point for you, dear reader, to stop and think about this in your own life!)
On the way home, the Running to Win program was about forgiveness. Rule #1 of true forgiveness, the pastor said, is the goal has to be one of reconciliation. Hey, I'm trying. There are some things that are better left in the past, even if forgiveness is extended and reconciliation may not happen every time, but the pastor said that should be the goal. He also reminded us that forgiveness costs something. It's not cheap and I've seen that first hand in my own life. I always remember though, that nobody paid a higher price for forgiveness than Jesus. Don't forget that, or forget that God the Father had to endure His Son suffering on the cross, too. It was a really good program and a lesson I can take to heart.
Well, that's my story for this morning. I'm going to bed. I'm tired. Thanks for letting me share about my day with y'all.
So, I wrote this post about being lonely earlier. I am. I admit it. I love my mutts, but as wonderful as they are (thanks Bucky for the doggy slurp), they're not people. I really didn't like most people for the longest time and was content with my little bubble. Not so much anymore and I'm starting to realize that it's not good to isolate yourself from the world.
I had an interesting day yesterday. I kinda think that it was a day filled with one little revelation after another that added up to something at the end. I don't think any of them had anything to do with lonely, but I got to see some very interesting things yesterday, but didn't put them together until I was on my way home.
I went to work yesterday. I've been ill and stayed home the last two days. I started feeling better around about eleven tonight. I think the little fever I had broke and when that happens I usually feel better quickly. Anyway, I don't usually frequent the break room at break time. When I used to smoke, I used to go outside. Now, I just kind of try to take care of things like checking my work e-mail or stuff on the computer during break. But tonight, at last break, I wanted a salty snack. I selected a bag of chips and went looking for a newspaper. We meet in the break room at the start of the shift and there's usually one in there. Not tonight though, but I found a copy of Time magazine.
I hardly ever read Time magazine. I'll bet the last time I picked up a copy was in a doctor's office over a year ago. I was reading about houses in Detroit and how they were talking about tearing vacant homes down and letting the properties go back to seed. As I ate my little bag of chips, I flipped open the copy of Time and found myself confronted with a three page article about how many people in America live alone. By choice.
Good for them.
I don't enjoy it.
But as I said, I might not understand why right now, but I suspect there's something I need to learn by my new found freedom that I don't enjoy. To show you that God can change a man, I'm going to say this. I could be doing anything I want. There's nobody to stop me. I could look at whatever I wanted to on the internet. i could be dating if I chose to be. There are a million things I could be doing... OK let's be honest, a million things I did while I was living with my wife that I don't do now that there's nothing really stopping me from doing them.
Except God.
But that's a blog for another day.
The article was just kind of talking about why people live alone. In cities, there are lots of opportunities to do things. Some folks don't mind doing things alone. I don't even like to eat alone. I hate going to the movies alone. I want to go see the Avengers. Not going to happen unless one of my kids calls me out of the blue. I read the article with interest but with a gentile reminder that even if I wanted to, I couldn't really go out and meet people. I don't drink much anymore so there's no reason to go to the bar. I'm married so there's no point in meeting a woman. Look at what happened when I did that before. I was done. She was done. There were divorce papers and everything.
Except God.
And when He got involved, I got to go to school. Last Memorial Day I learned a very expensive lesson about not taking God's no for an answer. It wasn't my no. It was His, and He meant it.
But that's a blog for another day.
Or not.
Oh yeah, alone. Like I said, I'm alone by circumstances, not by choice. So the article didn't apply other than that little providential thing that kind of told me that I'm in this situation because that's where God wants me to be. I don't believe in coincidences and I'll just take it for what it is and if I read something into it like the Creator of the Universe taking time for one of His children, then good for me. It beats the alternative of being right about this and ignoring it. It's that whole, I was where I normally am not, doing something I normally don't do, and you get the point by now, don't you?
That was the first thing. Of course, thee is more.
I told y'all today about the guy that talks to me at work. Tonight he spoke to me. And not once, not that I heard anyhow, did he take the Lord's name in vain. Praise God! I don't know why but I'm pleased the conversation went that way. Out of all the profanity I hear every day, those two are the ones that really hurt my heart because I don't think folks realize how much they say it or what they're saying when they do. (This is a good point for you, dear reader, to stop and think about this in your own life!)
On the way home, the Running to Win program was about forgiveness. Rule #1 of true forgiveness, the pastor said, is the goal has to be one of reconciliation. Hey, I'm trying. There are some things that are better left in the past, even if forgiveness is extended and reconciliation may not happen every time, but the pastor said that should be the goal. He also reminded us that forgiveness costs something. It's not cheap and I've seen that first hand in my own life. I always remember though, that nobody paid a higher price for forgiveness than Jesus. Don't forget that, or forget that God the Father had to endure His Son suffering on the cross, too. It was a really good program and a lesson I can take to heart.
Well, that's my story for this morning. I'm going to bed. I'm tired. Thanks for letting me share about my day with y'all.
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